Just found out after 55 years!

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Hello everyone. I call myself XLCR because that's the name of my motorcycle. If you want to know, just Google XLCR. I've just been tentatively diagnosed as an Aspie Savant, after 55 years of not knowing. Here's the hysterical part............I actually thought I was a genius! Hey, I've got a fabulous memory and an assortment of talents that just sort of came to me without me having to try much. My school grades sucked, but when I went to college in my 40s I aced everything and graduated with honours. It never dawned on me that there could be another and less complimentary explanation.

I seem to have managed to block out most of the traumatic experiences of my childhood. As I think back on it now it was just one incident of bullying after another. I guess I was a pretty resilient kid, yes, I cried and got down about it at times, but I must have been an optimist, I kept picking myself up and trying again. As I see it now the persistence was laudable, but the self-delusion was a bit pathetic. The fact I managed to cope with adulthood better than many was good, but also allowed the self-delusion to go on far too long. I wish I had realized a long time ago.

I'm really glad I know now for several reasons. One is that I was beating myself up for doing so little with my life. I though that someone with my talent and brains should have done a lot better. I figured I was too damn lazy and let life slip away from me. Now that I know I was fighting major social obstacles the whole way and compared to others with similar or more serious problems I haven't really done badly with my life, I feel much better about myself. It has actually been a liberation from my unrealistic expectations. I like myself better now.

Then there is the fact I am at a crossroads in life. My father, whom I'm beginning to believe was also an Aspie Savant, was always there for me, and the stable anchor of my life. He passed away last month and left me alone for the first time. To say I've been nervous and frightened about what will happen to me now is understating the case. But oddly, finding this out has improved my outlook. The first commandment is Know Thyself. I feel this knowledge can only help me make the right choices going ahead and avoid wrong ones. Like for instance going for a job that would put me in a highly social status influenced situation.

There is also the thing about not being able to find or keep a girlfriend. Now that I know exactly why dealing with women has become less fraught with anxious fears and disappointed expectations. I don't beat myself up afterward for saying or doing the wrong thing. I know now that just "being myself" as my friends have always told me is in fact a recipe for disaster. So I'm putting together a new strategy now that will involve outing myself at some point. I'm thinking they have to know eventually and letting them know fairly early will save a lot of wasted time.

I am at a point in my life where it is more important than ever to make plans. To do that effectively the more accurate information you have the better, as I see it.

Welcome to WP!

hi there, welcome here

my father is at your age, and i am still thinking over telling him or not!
my grandfather is 83, and he is also an aspie ... hehe

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome, I discovered the same at 59. With an R69s as an avatar.

It does explain a lot.

There is an upside to knowing.

so you see it more positively?

i fear when i would tell my father, that he would see also a lot of downsides..... things he missed in his life.... and i also fear that he would change... i got so acustomed to this person in that way he is....

just knowing myself, or rather putting 2n2 together, always knew though

Welcome ! !

Welcome to WP, XLCR, and you can call me FXRS (from days now past), if you wish!

Welcome home to Wrong Planet.XLCR. I can relate to your story. I was never considered a "savant," but I was called a "gifted child." However, Iknew since about the age of six theat I was different from other kids and had difficulty fitting in. I didn't want to be a gifted child and I tried to downplay my "superior" intelligence. Yes, I was good good at book-learning, but I totally lacked common sense. A an adult, I totally feel flat on my face. Became the world's foremost underachiever! Then, about ten or twelve years ago, when I was in my early forties, I read an article about Asperger's Syndrome. I thought "well, now they have a word for it," and never doubted from that moment on that this label applied to me, but it seemed too late to do anything about it. After all, the article didn't indicate that thre was a cure, so I just put in in the back of my mind. Then, awithin the last few years my Mom died and my Dad died along with
several aunts and uncles that I had been close to, and I was left alone in the world. I was flung right to the Gates of Hell by grief, anxiety, depression, utter loneliness. I was so desperate I went to therapy even though I have no medical insurance. Having my self-daignosis of AS confirmed didn't really surprise me, but my therapist was gave me some books written by other adult aspies and I realized that I was not alone in the world, after all. I did have kindred out there,it just took a little searching to find them. Realizing that I was not living on a planet of one has made all the difference in the world.

FXRS, my best friend bought one of those in the early '80s when they first came out, it was blue and silver, beautiful bike!

Queen, I was a major bookworm as a kid too. It was a huge shock to me to discover the difference between how things went in books and RL.

It occurs to me that some here may be unfamiliar with the subset Savant Syndrome. Here's a quick list of details:

One Aspie in ten is a Savant.

Half of all Savants have some form of Autism, the rest are mostly mentally ret*d, some are also blind. There are no NT ones.

All Savants have strange powers of memory including, according to some researchers, possessing data they couldn't possibly have access to. Some can do interesting tricks involving massive recall or calenders and dates.

All Savants seem to have artistic talents, these aren't necessarily world-class or prodigal. They look awfully impressive coming from someone with an IQ of 40, which is why Idiot Savants have gotten all of the press. I might have diagnosed myself sooner if I had known not all Savants are idiots. People who appear normal don't get all of the ooohhhs and aahhs. Most think we are just normally talented. They don't realize we didn't really have to work for it.

Many now believe there are many causes for Autism. The arguments rage on, especially the ones about vaccines. But there is a consensus coming together about Savants. It seems to be caused by damage to the left forebrain. There are cases where people who have been injured there in an accident suddenly developed Savant powers. I find this such an intriguing field of study I'm considering going back to school.

There is a shortage of true Savants, but there was a recent Aspie shortage, till people looked. Girls were not recognized but it is now known they present differently.

As you say, just natural talent covers it, until closely compared with normal, then we find normal is shallow. Being good at one thing is talent, crossing fields and creating new ones is not.

I did a study of inventors, the one in 10,000 who produce all the new stuff, and found a subset of Aspies, and Savants.

Peak human talents are dismissed as Splinter Skills, by those who wish they had even one, part time.

There is a gold mine here.

The best bike I owned was a Harley 10/12. Yes, the 1939 original. And I got the diagnosis at 52. Is there a trend here?

Welcome to WP, XLCR! (And here I was hoping you were a regular reader of the webcomic Starslip, which recently introduced an experimental robotic ship captain named XLCR. It was assigned to the Paradigm for testing, and Captain Vanderbeam has requested that it stay on for a time as part of his command crew. Since he doesn't have a first officer position, he says that XLCR is his "honorary first-commander-in-training!" XLCR's response: "I'm actually programmed to be kind of offended by that.")

Well we seem to have the Biker's corner sewed up on this site.

I've never read Starslip, but I am a big fantasy and sci-fi fan. I'll have to check it out.

FXRS, for Savant powers, the University of Wisconsin some great stuff on their site about Savants and research projects that involve among other things using magnetic waves on the left forebrain to create temporary 'instant savants'. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm not that keen on the idea that NT's could in fact get Savant powers, even for a little while, without having to live with the social problems, the paranoia, and the O/C behaviors. It's seems a bit like cheating.

DB, looking at the lyrics above your avatar, are you also a Steely Dan fan?

Welcome!