Hello Everyone.
My name is Alexis. I am 29 years old, male, and an undiagnosed Aspie. I learned to read when I was three and read every encylopedia I could get my hands on. When I was five, I asked for a record player and became obssessed with music. I never really knew how to play with other children and set my toys up as display pieces in my bedroom. I had a few friends through Cub Scouts, and later Boy Scouts, but they eventually turned on me because I was always "copying" them.
My family moved just before I entered the seventh grade and I was unable to make any friends until college. Whenever a teacher or guidance counselor tried to intervene, my mother refused to believe I had any problems. I remember being in a music history class during high school, and the teacher instructed a girl in the class to sit next to me because she was always chatting during the lecture. She said "Don't make me sit next to Alexis, he only talks about music." I started playing guitar during high school, and quickly joined several bands with musicians twice my age, gigging in bars. I became a music major at community college and started to finally make friends. I had two friends in particular who cared enough begin to point out some of my quirks--only talking about music, never making eye contact, speaking at people instead of with them, taking things literally, bouncing my left knee constantly, viewing the world in black and white terms, not letting subjects go during conversation, etc. I remember taking these comments as personal attacks and having several violent meltdowns. I started making an effort to make quick eye contact when I wasn't speaking and to not go on and on about music, although I often forgot the latter.
After community college, I moved across the country to go to music school. I didn't really make any friends there but it was a lot easier because my entire life revolved around music. While visiting my parents and doing a few gigs at home, I met my wife. She called me a lot and told me about everything she was doing. I dropped out of music school to be with her. I enrolled at her college and got a degree in English while working at the library. After we both graduated, I got a job in a library as a cataloger and continued gigging. We got married and then a lot of my quirks started to manifest themselves more openly--especially during her pregnancy with our son. She has a very social family, and became upset about my anxieties and meltdowns. She was especially upset that I didn't speak to her dad, and would just follow her around at social gatherings instead of talking to other people. When I did talk, she said I would say inappropriate things or turn people off by being arrogant.
Eventually, I went to see a therapist about these problems. This turned into couples counseling which we quit because my wife felt like she was being blamed for a lot of my behavior. Asperger's Disorder was mentioned several times during the early sessions, which lead me to search online for information after we stopped going to therapy. After reading about it, a lot of my life took on a different light. I started remembering a lot of incidents that Asperger's seems to explain.
Anyway, that's how I ended up here.
06 Jun 2011, 12:56 pm
