Giving in to my obsession yet again

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Hi everyone,

I found this forum last night and couldn't stop reading till 4:30 am. I love the friendliness and psychosis and humour in here. I wanted to jump in immediately and make friends because I feel like I belong here but I stopped myself because I have an essay and two other big assignments due in 3 days and I know if I jumped into WP now, they will never get done.

However, here I am 12 hours later. As have been the M.O. all my life, once I get obsessed about something, nothing can stand in my way, not even the fear of getting into trouble with my tutors, which is a big enough fear in itself.

A little about why I'm here. My GP recently referred me to a counsellor for depression with suicidal tendencies. After 2 sessions, my counsellor believes I have AS and has referred me to the AS authorities for a diagnosis but the waiting list is months long, so I'm just sitting on my ass waiting.

In the meantime, I am obsessed with finding out about AS as much as possible. I've read up loads and I've done online tests and everything points to me having it, and memories of all the endless difficulties I've faced in life are surfacing every day in a new light.

For example, I've never had a proper best friend even though I badly want one. I am just always awkward with people. I have a few close friends (we're all in the same group) whom I like very much but I feel comfortable only when we're out in a group together. Whenever I have to meet any of them alone, I feel really stressed out and awkward, although I try my best to hide it and pretend to be comfortable by mimicking the way people behave when they are comfortable with each other. But inside, I'm all tensed and I hold my breath all the time without realising it.

Well, there's a lot more to my aspie-ness of course but I am going to stop now because I've learnt that my favourite things to talk about aren't the same as everyone else's favourite thing to talk about. Let's just say I scored 153/200 in one of those aspie quizzes.

Anyway, I hope my assignments get done despite this. Thanks for reading!

Welcome to WP.
But that is all you get until you finish your assignments!

P.S. We have ways of dealing with Tutors. There are of course, a number of subtle stratagies, but I prefer the open bribe method myself. Few can resist the temptation of a box of Doughnuts.

P.S.S. I shouldn't even be responding because I am neglecting my own work and chores.

P.S.S.S I imagine there won't be any doughnuts left, but just in case there are, would you mind if I have one ?

Hi Toy_Soldier,

Thanks for the welcome! I don't usually do as I'm told when it's something I hate doing.

Doughnut bribery is an excellent strategy, except that I am slightly impaired in carrying out such a task. I have no grace whatsoever in giving presents and goodies to people because I feel shy and awkward and I worry about whether people think I'm trying to bribe them or being a nuisance.

Also, saying, "Have a doughnut!" means making eye contact and that's as good as telling me to go sit with a hungry tiger in its cage!

Thanks, all the same. I would love to give you a doughnut if I have any at all. I like it when people ask for things so I don't have to stress about offering. I even get stressed about offering to help with the cooking or clearing up when I'm over at my boyfriend's parents' for lunch. I always wish they'd just tell me to do stuff.

Go get your chores done already!

Well usually, bribes sorta speak for themselves. You just walk in nonchalantly, take the box of doughnuts out of the bag and place them where everyone can see them. Trust me, all eyes will be on the doughnuts. Then someone will say 'A box of doughnuts!' and if you can manage coughing out 'Oh yeah, they are for everyone' you a done, fini, bribe is complete. Just remember to get out of the way. The initial rush towards the doughnuts can get a bit rough. And with that you are now 'Gold' for a certain period of time, and can confess any previous crime for guareenteed amnesty or get something you want from the doughnutized victum.

Hah! A little problem with Authority is it! Well I know how to fix that. Well actually... I don't know how to fix that... so carry on.

And I have already done my first chore: Dogs long exploration walk, and have a head full of spider webs and sneaker laces full of sticky burrs to prove it. What about you hmmmm ?

And notice who's giving orders now, Lieutenaunt Angel, OCD ? I already have a Commander. My wife! She is Ex-Military too and now a Special Education Teacher... the hardest kind... Dual Diagnosis. You can't tell by looking at or meeting her. She's the nicest and most kind sort of person. But just begin to get physical and she will take you down in the blink of an eye. She knows people get hurt if you don't react fast. Just this Monday a Mental Health teacher accross the hall was a bit mocking of my wife's 'over-concern' about a new student they had gotten in their class. My wife had had this student for two years and was trying to give them pointers on how to recognize the signs she was 'going off'. Anyway the very next day the sweet student landed a direct kick to the teacher's groin and the teacher was so shaken they were unable to speak the rest of the day.

OK... dishes and laundry next then I will steal an hour for some gaming. But don't tell anyone!

I suppose leaving the box of doughnuts right in the open to fend for themselves is a good plan. That said, do you realise that you've been encouraging me to not finish my assignments by offering me a way out?

Well, I am proud to report that, between my first post and this, I have typed out 1.5 pages of notes, which probably contributes to about 0.00% of my essay being done but is, nonetheless, a step forward.

I like your wife very much. She sounds like a superhero type of character and she's even got you doing all the chores.

Welkome to WP

Mick

Thanks, Mick!

Hey and welcome

Hello OCD Angel! Allow me to aid you with your essays:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNCRwxwMhjg[/youtube]


(yes, my example is bad and I should feel bad)

Sagroth, that is an amazing video. It's definitely going to help me with my essay! Thanks!

invisiblesilent, hi! and thanks for the welcome!