My son has asperger's, do I??

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Hi,
My son has been diagnosed with asperger's. He is 5. It didn't surprise me. I've suspected it for years, but his pediatrician said he probably just had ADD ( when he was only 3! ).

The weird thing is I know how his brain works, I guess most moms do, but I can usually predict exactly what he will do in any given situation, because I know how it works, that's how I work.

So I started wondering, do I have it too? When I was a child I was totally screwed up, and noone knew. I had to "trick" them all into thinking I was normal, but I was in my own little world most of the time. I had obsessions, rituals, that I had to do, I just had to. In my teens I made myself stop, because it was making me miserable. OCD stuff, like I had to wash my hands a certain way, certain number of times, or something bad would happen. Stuff like that. I thought my parents were trying to poison me. Somehow nooone ever noticed how truly screwed up I was. I had weird social impulses. Kids didn't like me, and once to get a girl's attention, I poked her in the butt with a pencil! I am NOT a violent person, it just seemed like the way to do it. My social skills are still effed up. I think better in pictures, or memorize things by patterns. It is easier for me to shelve books by remembering the patterns on the spine than by author. ( I work in a bookstore ) Ok, I'm walking down the street, and I see another person coming. My first thought is still panic. What do I do? Should I greet them? Should I look at them? Which side of the sidewalk should I go to? I hate seeing other people, it just makes me start this whole nutty internal conversation with myself trying to figure the proper response. I love parties...I love planning out every little detail of them. But attending them is usually awful. I want to be social, but it's such a struggle. I'd rather be alone, and it's been that way my whole life. When I am around other people in social situations, I'm always the odd one out. Like I'm in a box watching them all talk, trying to figure out how to join. But when I do join I end up doing something stupid. I don't really like to be touched. It's always been something I did because it was expected, but to this day if my husband comes up behind me and just hugs me I tense up and try to shrug him off! Am I just incredibly neurotic??? I know asperger's tends to run in families, and the fact that my Dad is a physicist probably helps too. THe psych who diagnosed my son said that anyways. I really don't know. I've always felt so flawed. Maybe this is why?
Sorry for the extremely long post. Thanks for listening,
Becky

You might have AS yourself. On the other hand, my mother is an NT and she can still "read" 95% of my thoughts.

E2A: Ive been awake for quite a long time... this might not make a lot of sense, but good luck anyway
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I dont know whether youd hit all the right areas to match the diagnostic criteria, but youve definately got a lot of aspie traits. Youve more or less just described me perfectly!

I personally think that to ask 'do i have it?' in the absolute sense is a misnomer, because i choose to view the condition as a spectrum, rejecting the value of arbitrary diagnostic criteria and instead judging by the overall sum of each persons 'aspie' traits.

I dont know whether id fit the criteria myself (im self-diagnosed) but theres enough overall common ground with the experiences of 'aspergers' people on here (for instance) that i feel i can draw a line, stand behind it and say that yes, i have aspergers syndrome.

Welcome to the boards

I was diagnosed AS by several people, and you indeed in quite a lot of ways act as I should do. Like panicing when other people just walk in your direction, struggling to be social, ending up in conversations telling stupid things...of course I don't know how NTs react to such things so I can't really compare, so I can't really tell .

Since you don't like to be touched do you have trouble being "cuddly" with your son?

Hi,
I don't have trouble being affectionate with my son, but when adults come up and hug me and I'm not expecting it I shy away. And sometimes when he comes over and starts hugging me, it can be a little much and I just want to run away! That doesn't happen too often though, only when he is just overwhelming me. Weirdly he is very affectionate, that is kind of the problem. He just goes up and touches people he doesn't even know! This morning he went up to a little boy he doesn't know and pulled his jacket aside to look at his red shirt. He has been obsessing over shirts. His new school t shirt is red, and he runs around the playground trying to find the same shirt on other kids, so that's why he did it. It's like he wants to be social, he is just social somewhat inappropriately.