Possibly aspergirl married to ADD Inattentive type

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So I'm married to a guy who is very obviously ADD. XD We have a great time together and I love being with him, but it's so HARD when we fall apart we really fall apart... IE: Hubby can NOT keep a routine to save his life, but if I have one he gradually starts following it. grrr. I used to get VERY upset that he didn't have a routine. All the unpredictability throws me off so much. but now I expect him to not have a routine and I'm not frustrated by it, but it still throws me off and I get overwhelmed and shut down easily.

I still wonder what in the world caused us to get married. lol! (don't get me wrong, we both adore each other and are dedicated to each other, it's just very hard for us to take care of ourselves and our home and etc... together, but once we get there we rock at taking care of each other and our home and ect... lol!! !)

I have been diagnosed with ADHD Inattentive type, but it doesn't really make sense to me. It doesn't feel quite right. At first I was excited about that diagnosis because it "explained" why I did things a certain way, but now I'm not so sure. I can spend hours doing something I love, but I don't really "lose" track of time like my hubby does. I just get frustrated and overwhelmed and "shut down" so externally I appear ADD, but internally it doesn't feel like that.

Growing up I felt more comfortable hanging with guys then with girls, yet I still loved "being a girl". For as long as I can remember I "studied" how to be a parent. I was watching all parents(including my own) what worked and what didn't in raising confident, independent, caring adults. Even now this is the topic I talk about most, parenting! The second topic I talk about is arts and crafts. I also talk about my biggest issue at the moment. Other than these 3 things I don't really talk about much else. I tend to say the same thing a lot. Though my hubby's the only one who's ever said anything about it. Then again with other people I try to only say something once and then I talk to someone else and say the same thing to someone else so I'm not a bother. XD I am beginning to learn how to be a good friend. I had one best friend in elementary school, but none in Jr. High and HS. I was every ones "best acquaintance" so to speak. I was well liked and people enjoyed talking to me and thought well of me, but I didn't hang out with anyone. Really I just didn't know HOW to. I used to ask trusted adults like my mom and such about it and they'd just say stuff like, "but you're fine the way you are." you don't have to be the life of the party. I thought inside to myself, "BUT I DON'T FREAKEN WANT TO BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY!! !! I want to know how to have friends, I WANT friends, but I don't freaken KNOW how!! !! !!" And they just ASSUMED that I was shy. I'm not shy. I'm just frustrated with/afraid of being MISUNDERSTOOD again in social situations. I think the person who misunderstands me the most is my MOM. I wish I knew how to portray a confident aura around her. IDK how to. She thinks I don't know what I'm doing. I'm sure I'm sending those messages with my body, but I don't what I'm doing wrong???? Help here? I feel confident on the inside, but i get walked all over by her, she does everything for me before I have a chance to say anything, telling me what to do, giving the go ahead for important things without my permission. grrr. It just takes me a moment to figure out what I want to say... grr. I don't know why I feel so understood by my hubby and no one else? I have no idea what it is about him that makes me feel so safe in his arms and in his gaze. I HATED/ was uncomfortable with people(especially my immediate family) touching or hugging me in anyway until I met my hubby. Now I'm perfectly fine with hugging people. Not sure about that one. Any who. I used to always hear the neighbors telephone. I always knew where everyone in the house was just by sound. I get headaches a lot. Jr. High and HS were very hard for my socially, and academically even though I'm very smart. I did somehow manage a 3.85 gpa. Yet I felt that I was smarter than that. I'm not upset about my gpa, just mad about the feeling that I could have done better if I had been better understood? IDK. I've started and stopped college several times, I get overwhelmed and shut down and then I get even more overwhelmed because I get behind and I shut down even more. so I've dropped out of college on multiple occasions. I also have a toddler!! ! so that complicates things as well. My hubby is 6 years older then me. XD I've always had older friends or younger friends. I've just recently started having friends my own age. When i was younger and I'd get upset about something I'd hide in my room and hit myself in the forehead really hard. I didn't know what else to do with all those feelings and my dad/mom would just tell me to "not" be mad... not sure how that was supposed to work? oh and I thought elementary school games were still fun in Jr. High and didn't want anything to do with the "pretending to be grown up" that most girls did in Jr. High. Really in Jr. High everyone felt so "fake" to me and I didn't like anyone in Jr. High.

Well what do you think? Aspergers? And any suggestions for an Aspergers married to ADD and how to make day to day life a little less frustrating? Sorry that it's a really long post.

If you want to know for sure about Aspergers, consult a professional.

On a different note, welcome to Wrong Planet.

thanks for welcoming me. I was going to go to a professional to get a for sure!! ! i just wondered if it sounded like I did I have it before I went to all the trouble of seeing a professional. I want to know if others thought so as well and I wasn't just insane for thinking so???

Well, it definitately is a possibility. It could be other things, but I'm not a professional.

It sounds like a possibility to me. I think that talking to someone who is open and knowledgeable will have lots of benefits regardless. It sounds like there are things in your life causing you pain or anxiety, that you are wondering about them, and that in itself suggests to me you should start your quest of self-knowledge. Gather up more and more information about yourself...
J.

I agree. Get a diagnosis from a professional. You might have been misdiagnosed. It happens all the time. People with Asperger's are either undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. Some of your traits may be more autistic than ADHD. Ask your doctor.

Welkome to WrongPlanet.

The WP Kink

To WrongPlanet!! !