By age 4 I was reading science fiction novels and I was obsessed with them. I also learned to play chess and was a chess prodigy.
By age 5 it was clear I was some kind of freak. I went to kindergarten and was deeply upset - I thought my parents had sent me to "ret*d school." I was referred to a child psychologist for problems socializing. My IQ was tested which resulted in being treated even more like a freak. I branched out to reading science texts.
I had problems in school, mainly with violent abuse by my peers. In 4th grade, both my hands and one wrist were broken in an assault by classmates. I learned to fear and hate school both because the subject matter of the classes was far too simple and because there was a real danger of physical as well as verbal abuse. My Mom didn't understand, but she was supportive. She was love in its most pure form. My Father (I suspect him of being an Aspie if not some deeper level of autistic) tried to create a fantasy world for me where it was safe - he turned our home into a playground (I could play on the equipment and no one would beat me up) and sculpture park and helped me with my obsessions by getting me books and helping me make or obtain things. My parents were the only force that kept me from constant despair.
My parents ran away from home when I graduated from high school and my safe haven disappeared. I suffered an assault and a brain injury that put me in a coma. I slowly recovered but wound up homeless and suffering from uncontrolled seizures.
I slowly pulled my way out of "the hole" and I live a comfortable enough life. Best in my life is my wonderful Husband (who shows Aspie-like traits himself at times) who accepts me as I am.
It is an incredible feeling to finally realize I'm not just some kind of freak. I almost get teary thinking that there are other people out there like I am. I've always felt strange and isolated and homeless even in my own home. I can't express how I feel knowing there are other people of my type.
16 Sep 2006, 10:39 pm
