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My name's Blair, I'm 20 years old, and I'm not sure if I have Asperger's. One of my interests is psychology, so that is how I got here. I'll take a big interest in a certain disorder or what not, and research about it for weeks, even months. And, usually the reason why I take such an interest in a certain disorder is because I can relate to it. I found out about Asperger's about a year ago, through an Aspie's profile on myspace. At that time I was looking into social anxiety disorder and noticed that Asperger's had some similarities, so I did a little research it, and fit much of the criteria, but didn't think much about it, until now. I've been diagnosed with major depression several times in the past, and I'm pretty certain I have a mild to moderate case of social anxiety. With that said, I don't have much of a social life, actually, I don't have one at all. The only person in my life, besides my fam, is my very loving and understanding fiancee. Though, as understanding as he is, he still gets frustrated with the way I am. I'm not able to express how I feel, I can't make eye contact with him for more than a few seconds, and I don't like to hang out with his friends; as nice as they are, I'm uncomfortable around them. So, as all of these things are becoming a problem, I've been reading about Asperger's and going to Asperger's forums because knowing that there are others out there that are the way I am, I feel less alone. Now, going back on the subject of whether or not I have Asperger's, I don't know, and none of you can diagnose me, but you can give me your input. I'm sure most of you in this forum are annoyed of people posting topics asking whether or not they have Asperger's- I'm sorry! Alright... First off, I was born three months premature. I weighed 1 pound 11 ounces, had open heart surgery, and was in an incubator for the the first four months of my life. Supposedly, I have no side effects from the premature birth. I was held back a year in Kindergarten for developmental reasons. As a young girl I was OBSESSED with animals. They were, and still very much, are my life. I had a huge collection of stuffed animals, as well as many books on animals, which I read everyday. It seemed everything I owned was animal-oriented. Most of my shirts had animals on them, or bugs. I went to the pet store every weekend, and the zoo fairly often. I fed squirrels by hand, and rescued injured bugs and insects. I had quite the imagination, which I used in playing games, usually revolving around animals, with my younger sister, and her friends. I didn't have a social life as a kid, (and some things never change haha). My younger sister was my closest friend, and we played with some of the kids in the neighborhood. Though, I spent the majority of my time with myself and my imagination. Ever since I can recall my mom used to ask me regularly what planet I was on because I was always spacing out, or daydreaming. In elementary school, I had a few friends I would hang out with. (It wasn't always that way though. I think it was in first grade that this new girl came to my school. I befriended her, and we would play during recess everyday, until some other new girl came to my school, and she ditched me, and became friends with her, and then both of them would make fun of me. So, I'd spend recess alone, or go in the school and feed my teachers guinea pig.) With them, recess consisted of pretending we were a pack of wolves, playing with crickets, making "worm hospitals", and so on, you know the usual haha. I got bullied as a kid, mostly because of my boyish hair cuts, but also because I was weird, (and still am, and proud of it!). I spent a lot of time in class reading, and drawing animals. In elementary school, I excelled in English, and I think Science as well. I was a very good, consciencious student. I had no social life -up until middle school, when I hung out with my best friend quite a bit- I would come home, and immediately do my homework until I went to bed. I was obsessive compulsive, and still am to an extent, but moreso, a perfectionist. I would check my binder and folders over and over again, and my the heading on my paper had to be just so, and if it wasn't I would throw that piece of paper away, and start over again. The sheets of paper I did my homework on had to be perfect, if there was a crinkle in it, I wouldn't use it. I talked extrememly fast, and stuttered quite a bit. Even when I wasn't doing so, it was difficult to understand the words coming out of my mouth. And, I had my pacifier until I was 7, and would have had it longer if it wasn't for my dad throwing it away. As far as later on in my life until now... I'm very gifted in writing, and many many others have told me that. I have exceptional handwriting, (I almost got "Best Handwriting" in 8th grade). I'm artistic, though I don't draw very often because one drawing can take hours because I get into extensive detail. My dad has told me time and time again, that I'm ahead of my age group intellectually, (my mom has always said to me, and so had my ex- best friend, and my fiancee, that I'm a genius), yet light years behind socially. I only seem to have one or two close friends at a time, and then we have a falling out. I had acquaintances at school that I'd pass the time with, but outside of school I didn't really have a social life. I'm more comfortable, and I get along better with people who are older than me, by at least 7 years, give or take. My fiancee is 7 years older than me. And, my ex-boyfriend, (who has MANY mental/personality disorders, and possible asperger's), was 35. In middle school up to sophomore year of highschool, I was obsessed with writing down dates and numbers that I thought were signs to me. I still am somewhat into dates. I've never had a job, though I may have one next week! I'm able to do the same boring thing everyday, and am perfectly content with that. I am an INTJ. What else... I'm VERY sensitive to sound, and my dad is VERY sensitive to smell. Speaking of my dad... I've always known my dad is somewhat "off", but I've just noticed within the past few days some signs of Asperger's. Some info on my dad... he's a psychologist. He's very book smart, and excels in mathematics. My mom's always said he is "a geek", and he is. But the one thing that stands out above all is that he will just talk and talk AND talk to me, and others, about something, and he just does not get it when I, or others, are uninterested in hearing what he has to say. And, he can't tell when I'm upset, or that what he has said has hurt my feelings. He's very oblivious. And, my dad's dad is a genius. He was an anesthesiologist. I don't recall him ever saying more than a few words, and he spends his time reading, just reading. Hmmm... I think that's all I have for now. Input would be SO greatly appreciated! Thank you for taking the time to read this "novel"!

WEllllllllllllllllllllllcommmmmmeeeeeeee
mmkay

ya mate, welcome

hi welcome to WP.
have you ever taken the aspie quiz
http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

its not a DX but it might help.

you are a very detailed writer...

what types of animals are your favorites?

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Hi and welcome to WP

My first reaction is to think that you may be right to suspect that you have AS. You might want to consider seeking a formal diagnosis. You describe many of the characteristics of AS (obsessions, poor eye contact, difficulties with social relationships, ...). The classic AS trait is to write a novel and then apologise for it. Most of us here can identify with that. I suffer from almost every trait that you describe, and I've been diagnosed with AS.

Welcome and I hope you do seek out that diagnosis. I've found it really does help to know why I behave the way I do.

Thanks everyone for your replys, (and thanks to everyone who will reply in the future), and for making me feel so welcome. I feel so loved! hehe You guys are awesome! I'm so excited to be a part of this forum!

Hey there. I have taken several Asperger's tests and on all of them I scored for Asperger's. Yes, I am a very detailed writer. I LOVE all kinds of animals. I don't have any specific favorites, but I'm a big cat fanatic. I have a 4 month old bengal/orange tabby named June, and she is my lil' pride and joy. And, I hope to raise big cats some day.

Hey "hyper_alien". I thought that was cool how you wrote Hi and welcome to wp. Very creative! I actually could read that without you translating.

Welcome Blairbear.....You do sound pretty "aspie" to me,I just got a DX at 42.Have you talked to your dad about AS,and if so,what does he think about it?How about your fiancee...Have you discussed it with him?(My boyfriend thinks its a bunch of "hooey"(then again,I think he is awful aspie himself...lol)

Hey. Thank you. No, I have not talked to my dad about it, and I don't plan on it because he's a narcissistic psychologist who would think I don't know what I'm talking about. But, I have discussed it with my fiancee, and he's cool about it. I'm sorry your boyfriend thinks it's a bunch of "hooey" .

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Cool Blair

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