Hello-I am new to site, and recently discovered aspie

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Hello. I recently realized I am an aspie after doing research about my young son. He has been kicked out or asked not to come back to every pre-school he has ever been in. His school suggested he might be an aspie several months ago.

After doing much research on asperger's, I realized that I myself have asperger's.

This has been a little tough to deal with. I am a married professional in a job where I must deal with the public on a daily basis. I am fortunate to have a very tolerant wife.

I now realized now why I have had a problem in every social situation I have ever been in. I now realize why people are turned off by me in a group situation, and I have always been somewhat of an outcast. I also now realize how it was that so many people have been able to take advantage of my desperation for a friendship by using me, and making me an object of ridicule.

Fortunately, I have much improved over the last 10 years, and have been able to compensate in many ways. I have developed somewhat of an ability to have a one on one conversation without constantly interrupting (although the urge is still there). I have gotten better at reading faces.

I guess I am reflecting on things, and asking myself what if I knew I had Asperger's as a teenager. Would I have gone to College and graduate school? Would I have tried to get involved in social groups (fraternity, service clubs, professional groups, political groups) knowing what I know now.

What do I do now with rest of my life? Do I now stop trying to make social connections knowing I may be setting myself up for possible pain and failure?

In social situations and community activities, I do sometimes end up connecting with somebody on the fringe of a group, and sometimes am able become friends for a short time while the group is active.

I know there are aspie groups out there, but I am not in a place where they have any at the present time .

Anyway, it is nice to have found this website.

You probably shouldn't make any drastic changes in your life if everything is going well for you right now. Stick with what has worked for you.

Welcome to WP.

My circumstances are different, but I had a similar experience; all those things that made no sense suddenly made perfect sense.

Understanding how the problems stem from asperger's is not likely to make the problems worse. It may actually help some, by providing things to watch for in yourself and others. Many aspies learn to compensate for the perceptions we lack. It sounds like you have made considerable progress in this direction. Very likely you can make more. Asperger's does not get worse with time.

It's interesting to speculate about the past and consider it in the light of new knowlege, but if you figure out how to change the past, please let me know.

You're lucky to have an understanding wife. Welcome and best wishes for you and your son. Keep us posted on how things are going.

A lot of the people on this site are kids, still in school and college, and a lot of them are having problems. It sounds like you managed to capitalize on your strengths and compensate for your limitations enough to get a pretty good job. What you learned about how to make this work could help them.

well i cant compete with canyons reply


but why should knowing you have asperger change anything in that way?
experiance and rational ability should tell you what you should expect and base you choices upon. not some label. dont confine yourself within restrictions of a generalisation.

The knowledge that he knows WHY, however, can sometimes be more comforting than all the love and care anyone can give him otherwise.

hi welcome to WP

Hi!

Welcome to Wrongplanet!

I hope you enjoy posting here!

Hi and welcome to WP

Yes hello again welcome to the greatest place for aspies.

Hi, and welcome. I am also new. Your situation mirrors that of my own in many ways. I personally, am glad that I was not aware or diagnosed way back when, as I fear the bar may have been lowered in regard education/career etc. I found myself having to fight as it were for an education, having lost my mother at age 5 and as a girl, being told, "You don't need to continue with studies, girls are meant for marriage!" I rebelled in the nicest way possible and paid my own way through Senior School etc.

Our youngest son suffered terribly in schools here(both mainstream and private) so I now home educate. He is thriving thankfully. I know of other professional males who were not diagnosed till in their 50s who are very successful in their chosen fields but who only relate to others through mutual interests, and even then, must have breaks. Now with a diagnosis, they don't do 'social functions.' Even with business dinners, they can relate while conversation remains on a work related level, but simply have to make an excuse and leave when others become relaxed and expect chit chat. Too anxiety-inducing.

I sincerely wish you well. I believe that friendships are possible to sustain, online or offline if we and those who share our interests, accept that we require time occassionally to recharge our batteries.

Lovely to 'meet' you.

Hello and welcome.

Hoping you enjoy WP!