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iDoVooDoo
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28 Mar 2012, 11:24 am

Hi: My name is Chris. I'm from Florida. I'm here because I think my son may have Asperger's. He is almost 21, and after reading about symptoms and signs, he fits the bill. I want to learn everything and talk with those who may be more informed than me at this time. I welcome anything you may have to offer. I want to be there for him and support him in any way I can, and also, the big one, figure out how I am going to broach the subject with him. The whole time he was growing up, I knew something was up, and now it makes sense. What to do with the guilt? How to move on? How to help him cope, learn and grow?

My son is brilliant. He is very introverted, very socially awkward, lives on video games, but doesn't socialize through them. He has some anger issues. He will say odd things in times of stress. His best friend is food. Anything spur of the moment will send him into a tizz.

I want to get to know my son all over again with the skills to actually know him. My daughter wants the same.

Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself and look forward to any helps, suggestions, information, tips, etc.



Feralucce
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28 Mar 2012, 12:43 pm

do you do voo doo?

All joking aside, Talk to him openly and honestly... I would STRONGLY suggest seeing a psychiatric professional for a diagnosis... There are several different neurological conditions that can be mistaken for asperger's and treatment/paths forward vary based on issues.


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iDoVooDoo
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28 Mar 2012, 1:00 pm

I want very much for him to see a professional. At this time, he lives on his own with several roommates (another story in itself), and I don't have the slightest clue how to even bring up the subject with him, or make suggestions to him.

I appreciate your response, and boy, I wish I did voo doo - I'd zap some wisdom into myself.



AnonymousAnonymous
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28 Mar 2012, 2:25 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!


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Feralucce
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28 Mar 2012, 2:42 pm

Here is the major question... Is he happy?


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questor
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28 Mar 2012, 2:54 pm

Hi Idovoodoo! Welcome to Wrong Planet! Check out the different forums and articles here. They are interesting and helpful. You are among friends here at WP!

I agree with Feralucci. I would like to add that you should not try to turn him into an extrovert. Most introverts are more comfortable being introverts. If left to our introversion, most of us will occasionally will come out of our "haven" to engage in a little bit of socializing, like for family occasions.

Also, don't spring sudden plans on him. It's best to keep to a routine, either rigid or loose, depending on his comfort level.

Because your son is of legal age and not living under your roof, you can't force him into any therapy. However, do give him some printed material about Asperger's and other spectrum disorders, and some links to stuff about it, too. Then it will be up to him. I am betting that once he sees how well he fits the traits in the info you give him, he will want to go deeper into it.

Don't forget to include the link to Wrong Planet in the info you give him. :D Enjoy the site! I do! :D


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Tim_Tex
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28 Mar 2012, 3:18 pm

Welcome to WP!


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E_piphany
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28 Mar 2012, 5:01 pm

Daughter of iDoVooDoo here, wanted to say thank you for everyone's willingness to help one another.



Last edited by E_piphany on 29 Mar 2012, 9:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

CockneyRebel
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28 Mar 2012, 11:01 pm

Welkome to WP

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OliveOilMom
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29 Mar 2012, 4:59 am

Hi and welcome!

If I were you I would print out a few short articles about AS that you think explain it best and also the symptom list. Highlight the symptoms that you notice in him and put a small note beside them to explain if neccessary. He's 20, so thats really all you need to do. Start off by "I ran across something on the internet the other day that reminded me of you. Read this and tell me what you think." Don't worry about offending him by mentioning that he's socially awkward. He already knows that he is. He already knows that people notice it too. After he's read it, ask him if he would go see a professional to see if he has it. If he's hesitant, you can explain that just because there is no treatment for AS per se, that doesn't mean that a diagnosis won't help him. I was dx'd a few years ago and I'm 48 next month. Someone who has it had mentioned mine to me, thinking I already knew. We talked, I did research and was curious enough to pursue it. Turns out I had it. There isn't anything they can do about it, or anything they need to do about it, but knowing that I have it really helps me to understand myself better and deal with things. It helped me to understand myself much better and to cope in life much better now that I know that I have an actual disorder and I'm not just "wierd".


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iDoVooDoo
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29 Mar 2012, 9:36 am

So much great help here. I am very thankful to have awakened this morning to these words of wisdom.

Thank you again.



richie
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29 Mar 2012, 1:56 pm

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To WrongPlanet!! !Image


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iDoVooDoo
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29 Mar 2012, 4:25 pm

Happy? Interesting you should ask that. I can never really tell. My husband and I like to fish and we invite our son often. He jumps at the invite, but then seems miserable the whole time he is with us, but then I will ask him if he is having a bad time, and he'll say, "no, this is just how I am." He will call and ask "what are you doing tonight" and I will invite him over. Over the last 24 hours while thinking about this, the only thing we ever really talk about is a new movie he saw, one that is coming out soon, "did I see this or that," and then, of course, music. "Did I hear the new, so and so album." I see him pace a bit. My husband is a bit of a comedian, so when he says something funny, my son will laugh. The one thing I think every time I am with him is, "I wonder what is really on his mind." I don't know if he is happy, and when I ask if he is, his usual response is "I'm okay."



Feralucce
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29 Mar 2012, 6:38 pm

My personal advice is this: If he is satisfied with his life, then there is no need for any treatment plans or action. The fact that he has roommates tells me that he is social...

Often, our facial expressions don't mesh with the emotion we are feeling... our micro-expressions are out of whack and we don't emote the same way...

In your position, I would take him aside and talk to him, asking if he is satisfied and express why... total, up front honesty is the best approach at all times.


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