The hidden downside of online communities

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I have chosen to come back to post occasionally, perhaps, but won't read a lot, and might not for some time, I'll say that right off the bat. Why?

It's the hidden downside I feel, and it's only part of the nagging problem of impersonal interactions.

Maybe it's something I perceive more than is really there. But, when I join an online communitiy, I feel a need to post, like it's expected of me. I know that as an Aspie, there are a lot of things I think are expected that aren't, and vice versa. I hve problems just knowing when to IM people thinking they'll be too busy, but with communities like this, it's a little worse. I feel like people will think I'm ignoring them just because I haven't responded, and if I hae a little something to say, I feel I have to add to try and help, even though the irony is you all don't know I'm online and when I'm not, and ou probably don't expect me to be on at all.

But,that's part of the stress that I feel belonging to online communities, I know I'm not the worst, I have seen people on message boards post something, then 5 minutes later post again, asking "Where is everybody?" I don't think there's anyone who can mistake a chat room for a message board, but maybe they can. (Can tht be a sign of serious Asperger's? I don't know.)

Thereofere, I have basically limited myself to only reading a couple select threads on several boards I belong to, and I make myself forget about them for days at a time at times, because frankly, I feel like you all might think I'm ignoring you if I read and don't post, or something like that. It's happened before, I'm not sure when to IM someone and they think I'm ignoring them. (Of course they're NT so it's harder for them to understand.)

Anyone else hd these feelings? I just would rather be with live people because they can see when I get up to let the dog out or in (When IM'ing I sometimes feel badly doing that, not because I worry the other person won't understand that I'm letting the dog out or in, but because I have this feeling I should be there like in a person to person conversation over the phone or in person.

Sorry for all this rambling, but there is a real downside to boards like this, at leat for me at times. And, I just thought it might help some of ou. I always want to help others. And, I would feel horrible if I didn't offer help and what I said would have helped someone. As Wane Gretzky once said, you miss 100% of the shots you don't make..)

Well Big Snoopy I can certainly understand how you feel. When I first started visiting message boards a few years ago, I always thought I had to reply to a post directed to me or one that involved me. I don't do that much anymore because I found out that people on message boards don't expect you to.

IMing , on the other hand would be difficult because, as you said, it would like being on the phone with someone and you would feel you have to make yourself available. I just don't have the time to do that. I do enjoy talking to people on the phone, but; I know I can hang up and the conversation is done. IMing is like a perpetual thing.

As far as message boards go, I enjoy reading someones thought or experiences, but; I don't always respond. Some days I am very quiet and I don't talk much to anyone. It's just a quirk with me. I can go for days at a time and never speak. Anyway that's why I like message boards. You can reach out to people, but; there's no real commitment.