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Just wanted to say a quick "hello" to everyone here. I'm (obviously) new to the forums. I've actually been reading about Asperger's for months now and the more I read, the more I think that this might be an explanation for, well, ME.

I've taken the online exams, but I know this is not a diagnosis. And I know that I could be wrong (though I don't think I am, and I'm sorry if my being here without an official diagnosis is weird somehow or makes someone uncomfortable?)

Mainly, I've just been watching the forums and I have been able to identify with so many of the stories here that I thought it would be nice to get some help from others who may understand.

I'm a university graduate, 26 years old, in a somewhat stable relationship (though I think I might be very co-dependent so I don't know if that qualifies as stable...) and I have a job (that is becoming increasingly more difficult to manage.) The fact that I AM able to function relatively normally makes me question whether or not I NEED an official diagnosis, but at the same time I find that once I get my mind set on figuring something out then I HAVE to do so, if only for peace of mind.

So now I'm wondering, if I were to follow up and attempt to get an official diagnosis, who would I see? A therapist? A psychologist? Psychiatrist? I have a few of these on my insurance plan who say they handle Asperger's but I'm not sure where the best place to start is and I really don't want to waste my time going from doctor to doctor.

Anyway, it would be nice to be able to find a REASON for why so much of the things I've dealt with happen. Why I respond to things the way I do.

Funny story:
A year ago, I'm waiting for the elevator with my boss who lives about 20 blocks south of me.
She asks, "Want to share a cab?"
I respond, "Um, the subway is faster."
I could have said, "No thank you, I'm actually going to meet my girlfriend who works a block away from here." Which was TRUE.
THE SUBWAY IS FASTER.
Whaaaat?! She just laughed and I don't know if it was awkward laughter or laughing at me or what but I said nothing to her until I got out of that elevator and shouted "BYE!"

Two weeks ago, this same boss asks me, in front of two other coworkers, if I want to meet her and share a cab on the way to an early morning meeting (I was DREADING this meeting, but was looking forward to the shared subway ride with my girlfriend.)
I respond, "Oh, um. I think I'll just take the subway."
I could have told her I wanted to ride with my girlfriend. I didn't.
Her response, "Well, we all know how you feel about sharing cabs with me!"
No idea if she was serious or sarcastic, but cue the awkward silence and me shuffling out of her office without saying another single word.

It's just that, how am I supposed to explain what I'm thinking when put on the spot like that? And in front of other people? And let's be honest, I don't want to share cabs with her, I can't make small talk and our conversations are always awkward, but like...I can't SAY that. So I guess I say nothing?

Anyway, this is only one example of the millions of things that happen to me. Also, I think I went off on a tangent. Sorry.

I'll just add a poll.

HELLO. My name is Sarah.

I don't know why this is so long, sorry guys.

It's best to receive an official and objective diagnosis from an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professional. That is, someone whose specialty is in the diagnosis and treatment of Autistic Spectrum Disorders, and is licensed to practice medicine in their state. People who have only read the DSM and a Wikipedia article are not qualified to make a diagnosis, especially if they are making the subjective diagnosis for themselves.

Don't let any poseurs convince your otherwise! There are several other mental conditions that can mask or distort one's perceptions and thinking to the point that any symptom of any condition is sufficient cause for them to claim AS. These conditions include, but are not limited to Schizophrenia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Bipolar Depression, and Clinical/Chronic Depression.

Just for full disclosure I dealt with PTSD after going through a few traumatic events years ago. I saw a therapist and worked through the issues that arose through those experiences, but I definitely understand the need for professional opinions.

To clarify, the behaviors I see within myself that make me feel as though AS is what I would get through diagnosis? I have had them my entire life.

I definitely made a point of looking at symptoms of PTSD and separating them from symptoms of AS to make sure I wasn't confused. I definitely don't like doing/saying anything that I haven't thoroughly thought out, but again, I do understand the need for an official diagnosis and it IS what I want. I have to know one way or the other.

I just wasn't sure exactly how to go about finding the proper doctors? I haven't talked to a therapist since 2009 and she was provided to me through the police department, so I am definitely in need of a full evaluation, but I don't want to pick the WRONG doctor. I hated the one I had, didn't feel very comfortable with her. And now I'm in a new city and there are just SO MANY options.

Maybe I am over thinking things. Perhaps my GP will have a recommendation of appropriately trained professionals? Anyway, sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable. I'm just trying to figure things out.

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Mick

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