I am new and I am the only I know like me

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I have a vague memory when I was about three years old of going to the doctors office with my mother. When we went in the doctor had several toys, I think a coloring (or it could have been a pop-up) book, and a stack of flash cards. All I can really remember was playing with the toys and the book and the doctor asking me questions that I can not remember. This was apparently the first time I was suspected to have aspergers although only 6 months ago when my life was reaching a critical crisis I was re-told the story of the doctors visit by my mother, and the purpose of seeing the doctor was to check if I may had autism. The doctor cleared me (because back then aspergers wasn't on the autism spectrum at the time of my visit) and I went my whole life unknowing the cause of my strange behavior.

I always knew I was different from the other kids and they all knew I was different than them. I substituted a lack of empathy with kindness feeling that if I was nice to the other they would be nice to me no matter what, and since I grew up in a very small town with a graduating class of 40 kids it wasn't that hard.

I am out of high school now though and in college, and I am freaking the f**k out (I know you guys said no swearing but if I did anything else it wouldn't be genuine). Massive tides of paranoia are seeking out to crush my life and my will. Can I actually ask a girl out? Is it possible for me to be friends with people I hadn't known during childhood? Will I ever learn to drive!? Though I believe I am now just starting to grasp the idea life, and I don't view myself as having aspergers, but I use it to put a name on my strangeness.

Any who... I'm 19, a freshman in college, never had a girlfriend before, never kissed a girl before, I am a major history geek ( I guess you could say that's my "focus"), an avid gamer, reader, and poet. And I'm just a bored dude looking for something to do.

It's hard isn't it? You sound a lot like I did at your age.

This stuff is different for everyone, but there are probably things you can do to feel a little bit better. Remember that in your small town you got by OK. Its harder in a larger community, but the people that are around you are fundamentally like the people you grew up with. You sound like a nice guy, and so if folks get a chance to get to know you they will realize this.

The thing that was hard for me at that age was hanging out with people. All the other kids would tell jokes and generally have an endless stream of things to say, and I would just sit there and be creepy. But, if you seek out more structured environments for socialization, you might make some good friends.

So, consider joining some clubs. Join the ones that have regular meetings -- once a week can be terrific. Its helpful if there is someone who runs the show at the club, but everyone gets a chance to take part in whatever the activity is.

College kids also really appreciate and respect people who are exceptional at things. If you could try to learn the guitar, or photography or anything like that then you will have something you can do instead of making small talk. I played guitar in college and sometimes people I didn't even know would stop by my room and ask if they could listen. It was really awesome.

The other big thing you can do is be healthy. The mind and body are one unit. I know that my symptoms get better and worse in response to how I eat and if I exercise. A lot of us have food allergies. You could try eliminating some foods for a couple of weeks and then bringing them back in and seeing what happens. Cutting out sugar, gluten and dairy (or even just one of them) has helped a lot of people think more clearly and feel generally better.

Try to excersise and see if you can get fish oil pills. Fish oil has compounds that your brain is made out of and I know that I feel way better when I take it.

Welcome to WP!

Hi and welcome!

I wouldn't worry too much about the fact you haven't had a girlfriend yet. Adolescence is hard enough without that kind of emotional rollercoaster. It's not just for us aspies - but NTs as well... I've seen otherwise perfectly sensible people scarred for life by those drama filled immature imitations of romance. Steer clear of it till the hormonal storm is over and keep your eyes open for an intelligent, mature girl later.

Excessive anxiety isn't so much a symptom of autism as a perfectly reasonable response to having to get along in a world where everyone's default assumption is that you'll behave differently to the way you do.

Why do they make that assumption? Ignorance and prejudice perhaps?

Welcome to Wrong Planet!