My whole life, I've asked one question... "Why am I different? Why am I singled out? What is it about me that makes me inferior?"
I was the odd one in class... While everyone else was drawing unicorns and race cars and Ninja Turtles in art class, I was the one recreating the computerized forecasts from The Weather Channel. While the other kids were watching their cartoons on Fox in the afternoon, I was glued to CNBC.
Nobody knew why...at least that's what I thought.
At nine, I was diagnosed through a second opinion, although I was being treated for ADHD at the time with Ritalin during school and Clonidine before bed. At no time was I, nor anybody at school, ever told of what I actually had. They just assumed ADHD and a few other things that I don't recall at the moment.
At sixteen, I was doing some innocent snooping to check on the status of my Christmas presents when I noticed that my mother was using my name and "Asperger Syndrome" in the same sentence. I researched what I had found and realized... "HOLY @#$%! This is me!"
I never confronted her about it face-to-face, which I regret, but I was sure glad to know why I was the way I was, and I embraced it. Anyone who had an issue with it could go to Hell as far as I was concerned.
In those years leading up to my current adulthood, I was able to cope with the problems it presented through the love and support of a good friend, to whom I am now engaged to be married next summer. As soon as I fully understood it, I embraced the good things and fought against the negative.
I'm glad I stumbled upon this little community and I look forward to building relationships with some of you.
- D o Z, New Jersey
05 Jan 2007, 11:35 pm
