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My name is Martin, 32 years, and I have been diagnosed with moderate Aspergers, along with anxiety disorders. The diagnosis came about after my marriage broke down, along with an inability to sustain full time work, resulting in a very strained financial situation.

I am seeking information, or inspired stories of adults who have Aspergers, who have gone on to lead independent lives. Those, despite their circumstances, have gained confidence and the knowledge to travel overseas, relocating to another state on their own, securing their financial situations themselves, and have gained or maintained a companion and/or an intimate relationship.

Any willing individuals that may be able to offer advice, I would be eternally grateful.

With many thanks
Martin 'Woody'

hiya Woody
welcome to our cool club
the prime example of an aspie who made it in the world would have to be bill gates. he did it by dint of his overwhelming brainpower and force of personality. he was fortunate also to have perfect parenting. for most of the children of a lesser god, however, we must struggle to get anywhere.

Auntblabby, thank you kindly for the welcome here.

talk some more, it is good to hear from other aspies

lol...Talk??

Well, I've been wondering on how the environment is, when aspies live with each other? Is it truly harmonious? Would you know, Auntblabby?

i can't tell you about the living together part, as i've always been a solitary hermit. but i do attend "square pegs aspie meetup" meetings bimonthly, and can tell you that at least with my little social group that we get along fairly well, with good humor all around.

Thats comforting to know, at least. I am attending an adults support group this week, for the first time.

the most important thing is to listen first, to hear what everybody else has to say first, to get as complete a picture as possible, of all the people you will be associating with. that way, there will be less surprises later on.

Less surprises? From your experience, what would these 'surprises' consist of?

Please, spoil the party here

like if one party or more finds they can't tolerate gay folk, or asian folk [i'm both]. or in my case, to find out that two of the group are married to each other [same sex].

Right...

Prejudice is alive and well then, in the AS world?

I was married to a strong-willed Zimbabwean woman, and have enjoyed the company of my lesbian sister and her partner, along with my gay cousin with his partner. Those surprises are covered for me...What others are there, if any?

one party or another might have post-traumatic stress syndrome [very common among aspies i've known] so you will know not to do things like pound your fist on the table to make a point, or raise your voice or curse etc. if there are both right-wingers and left-wingers in the same room, it is a good "roberts rules of order" thing to avoid discussing politics. don't discuss abortion or sex or birth control among traditional [right-wing] catholics. some people cannot abide profanity or blue humor of any kind. if there are obese people there, avoid bringing up anything which would remind them of their weight. things like that.

...But overall, worth attending support groups, despite these recommendations you've mentioned?

i would say yes, because the latest medical research says that healthy social connections are very important for maintaining one's physical and mental health [especially as one ages]. plus, one learns some things only through social intercourse.

Ah, good, well thanks Auntblabby

Welcome here