Your Opinion: Do I have (mild) Aspergers?

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Hi,

I'm here to introduce myself, but also to ask if I have, what I think is, a relatively mild version of Aspergers. This might also be a way to let out some parts of my life, which I've never told anyone before.

I'm in my mid-twenties and I'm diagnosed with ADHD-PI. I've got sufficient friends and I don't have trouble speaking to people. I finished university and I have a career. The thing is that I was not like this before.

Up to the age of 17, I never remember actually remember thinking about other people. As in, I knew they were there, and I spoke to them on occasion, and even had friends. But I never remember actually thinking about what they thought, or wanted, or what they thought of me. I only noticed if they started ignoring me or were angry at me. I was lucky that I went to a school with very little bullying, though I still got teased occasionally, and ignored regularly. I had friends, though most of them would tire of me after a while, and I changed groups frequently. Except with close friends, I was quiet and I barely strung a sentence together in conversations.

When I was 17 my world basically fell apart. Somehow, in the space of a few months, I understood social situations impeccably. Before this, I would rarely ever feel embarassed. After this, I looked back to all the embarassing situations in my life, which I never noticed before, and I became depressed and suicidal.

However, I made a commitment to improve my social skills no matter what. I worked in customer service, then in a call center for a few years. I even did door-to-door sales for a few months. I cycled through so many groups of friends, and even went to parties/clubbing (which I hated) probably atleast 50 times. I saw gradual improvements. During this period, my ability to understand social behaviour actually became extremely strong. I had more than a few comments that I was a mind-reader. But this was purely from analytical perspective - I could never do it when actually socializing, but only look at it in retrospect and use logic to deduce what people probably thought. And I would actually need to consciously choose to analyze a situation for everything to become apparent. However, all this social contact had some major negatives - I became extremely sensitive, and everytime I went to socialize would also be another chance for another embarrassing moment which would stay in my head for months, if not years, later. I would go through periods of socializing followed by periods where I was depressed and would not leave the house.

Eventually however, my social skills improved. I don't have trouble approaching a random person (though it still makes me anxious) and I can make friends easily. I was able to complete university, and have friends whom I'm close with - and whom would never notice anything wrong, besides the fact that on occasion I may act obsessive (over a topic I'm interested in) or act a bit childish.

Do I have Aspergers? Here is a current profile of myself.

SOCIAL SKILLS: I try to stop myself steering the conversation into that of my interests, and keep it short and sweet when I'm talking about them. I'm excellent at first impressions and if the situation is quick and preparable for (eg. interviews, speed dating) I can do well. But for longer conversations and with hanging out regularly, I become significantly more awkward especially if I share no interests with the person. If I don't "turn on" my conversational ability, or I'm tired, I can seem lost or weird. My special interests include business, art, all the social sciences, medicine, psychology, which is something that can be brought up in many conversations. I observe certain conversational routines other people use, and then use them myself. I remember that a few years ago I realized that I should probably look into people's eyes - something which I rarely did before and something that I'm still not great with. However, as mentioned, I can read people well - really not sure how this factors into the Aspergers diagnosis.

RESTRICTIVE, STEREOTYPY: As for the other symptoms, I do have some stereotypy behavior. I always thought I would never be able to live with someone else, since I would be always embarrassed at they would budge into my room when I was doing a silly movement. Most of of movements are kept underwraps - I move my toes a certain way, and I tap my teeth against each other - but when I'm tired this also involves body movements. However, I don't have any routines that I can think of, and I'm really not focused on any parts of objects.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I highly appreciate any responses.

Everyone is different, and maybe you should read around the site ( I suggest the general autism discussion forum, and I suggest check out the 'you know you're an aspie when...' thread because it highlights some of the quirks that aspies notice about themselves.)

I am fairly sociable, mainly because I learned how. Many things you said sound just like me. I can pick up peoples emotions petty well sometimes, but may not know how to deal with hints, or social cues.

Some things to consider:

Do you tend to prefer eating the same foods, over and over? Like always ordering the same thing or eating the same breakfast. You might have routines you don't notice. I can be quite adaptable, if required, but I have to 'prepare myself'. I hate leaving my house, but do it to go to Uni, and I am OK.

Do you find, after a busy, social event such as a party or shopping trip, that you get tired, and need to rest? I don't mean to sit down and let your body recover, but your mind - you really don't want to talk to anyone, or do anything but maybe stare at the TV, listen to music, or maybe just stare in to space, for example.

Do you get upset if you are focused on something you are trying to do and someone asks you a question and interrupts you? In other words, maybe you can do multiple things at once, but if unexpected interruptions occur, you start to lose the plot.

Do you find that if you are stressed in your life, and under pressure, that a social invitation feels more like a nail in your foot than a welcome opportunity to escape?

Obviously, I am not trying to diagnose you or anything. These are just some things that are true for me, that I now believe are part of my 'aspie-ism'.
See, I am 45, so have had time to learn to behave and adapt in general, in some ways, but I still have issues, especially when I am under stress. Then I can find myself sitting in a locked room, rocking, and humming a single note, just to turn the confusion in my head into something simple and predictable.

Read around. We are all different.

Thank you for the questions. They all apply to me. I'm reading through the "you know you're an aspie when..." thread and I can relate to many of them.

Do you tend to prefer eating the same foods, over and over? Like always ordering the same thing or eating the same breakfast.
Now that I think about it, I would regularly order the same thing at the same place for months at a time.

Do you find, after a busy, social event such as a party or shopping trip, that you get tired, and need to rest?
I absolutely need to rest after a social event. And I would leave early. This is despite the fact that my personality is meant to be "extraverted." I would usually just go to sleep or mindlessly browse the internet.

Do you get upset if you are focused on something you are trying to do and someone asks you a question and interrupts you?
I always meet interruptions with annoyance. I don't like the fact that I act this way, but I feel like my personal space is being intruded on and I feel unprepared to deal with it so suddenly. The thing is that, I'm fairly interruptive myself, and I don't expect people to be annoyed when I intrude on them even though I should.

Do you find that if you are stressed in your life, and under pressure, that a social invitation feels more like a nail in your foot than a welcome opportunity to escape?
If it's hard for me to ignore the invitation (close friend, or something I'm committed to), and if its stress that's not from work, then yes I feel trapped and I would do anything to shirk out of it.

My opinion? Yes, absolutely you are on the spectrum.
Many of the things that you've said about yourself mirror my life to a T. Now when people find out that I have AS I get a response similar to "but you don't look/act like you're autistic"
Strip away everything I've spent the past 22 years teaching myself and yeah, I would.
Message me and we can talk more about it if you'd like! I find forum threads somewhat overwhelming to deal with past the first couple of responses.
Cheers!
Julia

A sweet welcome to WPea.

I wouldn't say I'm an expert on this, but reading on all the things you've wrote I can say for certain that I have very similar problems to what you have. So I can guarantee you are on the spectrum somewhere at the very least.

Also welcome to Wrong Planet, where your crashed spaceship is one of many!

Thanks for the welcome guys.

I've actually been extremely happy after finding this out - it provides an explanation for a large part of my life that previously I saw as a "problem." Now I just see it as me, adapting to this world from a different cognitive style.

Just one more question: should I mention this to my psychiatrist (that I use for ADHD)? I don't care about a formal diagnosis, or any benefits, but I wouldn't mind mentioning it to her.

I wouldn't, because it seems that a common response from psychiatrists and psychologists who do not have extensive experience with ASD expect only textbook cases and not someone who has put as much effort into socializing as you have. Likely their response will be "I don't think so".
I went to several "professionals" before finally finding a specialist in ASD. Specialists are important because they know that it can come in many different forms and can manifest in different people inconsistently.

I felt the same way as you, when I found out.

According to many on this site, some psychiatrists/psychologists don't know enough about it and my respond in a less than useful way, even in a hurtful way.
If you are otherwise happy with your psychiatrist, maybe you could ask them in a 'no big deal' way. Like: "I found some stuff on the net, and it reminded of me. Do you think there is any chance that I could have aspergers?" (Err, use your own words!!) Just sus out their attitude a bit before you get in too deep.

A sweet welkome to WPea.



Mick and Peahawk

Wow, you sound a lot like me. I'm diagnosed with AS, so you must be on the spectrum then.

Do you misinterpret people? Have you ever misinterpreted them before?

Your psychologist could be knowledgeable about ASDs. They are sometimes comorbid with ADHD, and any expert on ADHD would know that