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Hi everyone. I'm a 27 year old software engineer recently graduated from uni, currently working a full time job.

I was diagnosed with AS almost 10 years ago, but I only recently started to accept / realise it.

Took me months of lurking before I decided to post. I have nothing much to say, but I'm bored out of my mind and have been feeling rather down. I was hoping that graduating from uni and getting a job ('starting life') and opening up to the world would give me a 'proper' life.

I feel like all my life I was behind a glass window, looking out from the inside, seeing people have fun with one another, but never being able to reach out to them. The window has now been opened... but the people turned out to be cardboard cutouts. I look around me, I am actually not inside the store, but outside, looking inside at mannequins on display, while everything around me is a deserted street. Finally, I find a figure sitting on a chair, not made of cardboard. I try to talk to it but it won't answer. Then I notice a string. I pull the string, and the mannequin spoke to me. I answer back, but there is no response. I pull the string, but it does not appear as if it heard my answer. Over and over I pull the string, getting different answers, until they start repeating themselves. Then I got bored and walked away, roaming along the street from one store to the next.

Then I walked to the next store, and found the same mannequin staring at me again.

Welcome Solidus

Thanks MannyBoo!

Welcome!

Thanks TenPencePiece.

I am still shy about posting... it's been a while since I've posted on any forum. I'm feeling lonely right now but don't know what to say nor where to start.
It also depresses me to read about AS

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Sweet welcomes to WPea



Mick and Peahawk

That is an eerlily-good description of what socializing can be like... I think the whole trouble is that it can be hard for us to see the significance of what NTs are trying to tell us. But it feels so much more profound when you break through and are able to see the significance in everything they tell you, big or small. The cool part is, sometimes Aspies learn to see significance in what they say that they don't see themselves.

Welcome! I'm a software engineer too.

I think the problem for me isn't the significance of what they are trying to tell, as much as *what* they are trying to tell. People have little of importance to say, but get offended if you miss the message however trivial it or the underlying grievance may be. Not to mention that AS people are accused of going on and on about their interestes, while we have to endure them going at length about excruciatingly trivial and repetitive topics (multiple times since they all talk about the same things).

I really think the issue of being a mannequin or a real person transcends the AS / NT divide, however.