Communicating your emotions to autistic adult

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What is the best way to do this.I have a 27 year old son,if I describe how his cutting me out of his life makes me feel will he identify or just get more upset of shut down? Hi I am new here. I am ditchedmom. Anybody know if they will automatically put a clickable link on my blog in five days or do I have to write more blog in five days and will then only get a link to that new part of blog?

My guess is that your 27 yr. old son is cutting you out of his life because he doesn't care how you feel. If you try to describe to him how you feel, most likely it will only alienate him more if he gets the impression you care more about your feelings than his. Its doubtful your son is ignorant of how you feel. Being autistic doesn't mean being incapable of knowing how a mother feels after having had one for 27 yrs.

Most likely he has the impression you don't care how he feels. If this is so, he probably won't even tell you how he feels. That would explain his solution of distancing you out of his life.

I don't know the details of what goes on between you and your son. You could simply be trying to get him to grow up and be responsible. He may be behaving like a adolescent child in rebellion. Be very careful that he isn't trying to manipulate you. Be just as careful that you're not trying to manipulate him either.

No matter how painful it feels, do what you feel is the right thing to do. In your heart, you probably know what's best. Your son may have to learn some of life's lessons the hard way on his own. If so, you'll need to learn how to accept that and let him do what he chooses.

If he leaves, just let him know you'll always love him and be there for him . . . then let him have his space and move on with your life.

As for how the blog works here on WrongPlanet, I forgot how.

It's possible he isn't intentionally cutting you out but simply isn't actively keeping in touch (I often just don't think of contacting people), or is procrastinating about it for some reason (not sure when is a good time, has too much other stuff going on and isn't prepared for it, or is anxious about how you'll act when he does). Or possibly he just wants more independence and is avoiding contact because of it. Although it's possible he doesn't want contact with you, you shouldn't take that for granted just because he doesn't contact you.

He'll probably understand at least somewhat if you explain how you feel about it, but stay calm and don't pressure him. If he's not deliberately avoiding contact with you, it might work better if you periodically contact him rather than waiting for him to do it. You should ask him about it, but be sure to be calm and straightforward so it doesn't seem like an attack and so he feels he can respond honestly without upsetting you.

There are lots of reasons he might not keep in touch besides wanting to cut you off... for some of us, staying in touch, even with parents, isn't as easy as most people assume it should be -- but that doesn't always mean we don't want to stay in touch. I rarely call or visit my parents, but I still like to see them. If they leave it to me to initiate contact, I can go months without seeing them and only occasionally realize how long it's been... even when I do notice, I probably won't call them without a specific reason, unless I know they're expecting a call (at a specific time, not just "sometime soon"). Most of my family is like that to some extent -- we get along well when we see each other, but don't keep in touch.

Sweet greetings to WPea!



Mick and Peahawk

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome, ditchedmom