new and new in a relationship with aspie

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corkyviolet
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29 Apr 2013, 10:20 pm

hello everyone,
i'm very glad to have found this site. i'm here to find more information/suggestions/advice to help me love the person i'm with more comprehensively. i'm still learning about him and i am learning so much about myself. when we get into arguments, he tells me that i need to be less emotional and more logical because he cannot focus on what i'm saying, and if i don't make logical sense, he continues to add to his argument (which makes me more frustrated and emotional--even though he is right on target!)

btw,, i've learned some things already by reading some of the old posts.

=] corkyviolet



redrobin62
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30 Apr 2013, 12:05 am

Yep. You'd get further along in your relationship if you can keep your pesky emotions in check. That's for sure.



Alynn
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30 Apr 2013, 12:27 am

I'm new too, and that sounds exactly like to the kind of issue I have with my aspie boyfriend. He tends to write off a lot of what I have to say if any of it is founded in emotion and insists on being 'logical', and can be pretty dominating in a discussion at that. Pretty much the biggest issue between us.



MountainLaurel
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30 Apr 2013, 12:38 am

Quote:
help me love the person i'm with more comprehensively.

Quote:
he tells me that i need to be less emotional

Are you looking to love more comprehensively, a man who needs you to be less emotional?



corkyviolet
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01 May 2013, 12:36 am

redrobin62 wrote:
Yep. You'd get further along in your relationship if you can keep your pesky emotions in check. That's for sure.


yes, my "pesky emotions".... i can dig that. i am an emotional person, and i remind him of this fact, but i also understand how my emotions can get in the way of some debates/arguments we have (because some of his ideas/facts are true and ignite my emotions).



corkyviolet
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01 May 2013, 12:39 am

Alynn wrote:
I'm new too, and that sounds exactly like to the kind of issue I have with my aspie boyfriend. He tends to write off a lot of what I have to say if any of it is founded in emotion and insists on being 'logical', and can be pretty dominating in a discussion at that. Pretty much the biggest issue between us.


i am learning to gauge the emotional factor in my responses, and if they are completely emotional (sounds weird), i simply say, "I understand". it's become an inside joke for us. =]



corkyviolet
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01 May 2013, 12:44 am

MountainLaurel wrote:
Quote:
help me love the person i'm with more comprehensively.

Quote:
he tells me that i need to be less emotional

Are you looking to love more comprehensively, a man who needs you to be less emotional?


i'm not seeing him wanting me to be aware of my emotions as a need-- i see it more as a desire. we get along wonderfully, and we can talk things out when we do our AAR (after action review). i am learning to love with more awareness of his desires, which is how i want to comprehensively love him....



AnonymousAnonymous
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01 May 2013, 2:57 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!


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Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


DarkRain
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01 May 2013, 3:33 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! :)



corkyviolet
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01 May 2013, 9:27 pm

thank you, AA and DR. =]