Canadian female, mild AS (maybe)

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Hi everyone,

I'm new. I'm a 39-yr old female, living in Ottawa, Canada. I have a 10-yr old son.

Challenges at work recently and throughout my life have led me to think that I may have mild AS. (I will be seeing my GP in two weeks to get an appointment for an assessment. I scored 166 w the Ritvo screening tool.)

My employers consistently tell me that I have poor social skills, that I look like I'm not listening in meetings when I actually am and that I'm too literal, and that I am very bad at reading body language. For me it's either the words or the body language, not both together. They also say I have poor verbal skills, in stark contrast to my written output, and that I am highly productive and can do complex tasks very quickly and well. So work product is 99% and interpersonal is 20%, or something like that.

I find that in general that I have extreme social anxiety. For instance I don't talk to any of my neighbours because - after a few were very rude to me - I stopped talking to any of them for fear of getting attacked verbally. I also don't see faces...maybe it's my eyesight but I just see melting clay. It takes a while for a person's face to "form" in front of me. I avoid eye contact at all costs and am horrible at dating. In fact, I had my son because I was exploited on numerous fronts and not from a long-term committed relationship. He is everything to me and was very much wanted, even though he was a surprise. As far as stims go I rock back and forth, and always have.

The list of tell-tales signs from my childhood is endless: meltdowns, getting lost in organizing my belongings, head-banging, obsessiveness, extreme talkativeness, weird patterns w my hands and feet, interest in technology, not caring about fashion and aesthetics as a teenager, being friends w other aspie-like people...I was bullied to near suicide by a teacher for two years, probably because I was different.

I'm sorry if this is dull to read. I am not a creative writer at all.

Two more things: I'm a an extreme systematizer; I can see systems in my head and explain them reasonably well, and I have synaesthesia - colours for numbers, letters, months and days.

I hope to learn more from discussions here.

Forgot to add that I also have sensory issues: light and sound mostly. I always wear sunglasses outdoors and any type of squeal is extremely jarring to me.

I also can't handle malls and crowds, and I get over-stimulated and need lots of down time.

I'm new here myself. I'm 37 and live in Simcoe, Ontario. I have not been diagnosed, but all that I have read leads me to believe that I have Asperger's. Also, my aunt on my father's side is like me and so is my 13 year old niece. I too was bullied in school, but by my peers (so called) and not to that extent. Sad about your experience. Fashion was something that I never cared for either. When I was a kid the only way I could get to sleep was to rock myself. Rocking in my rocking chair still puts me to sleep.

Hello! I'm a 39-year old female from Cape Breton Island, never married, no kids, and I wasn't diagnosed with Aspeger's until I was in my mid-late 20's after my life was really falling apart. I went to live in a group home for people with chronic mental illness at the age of 21 and was moved in and out of different homes and was finally kicked out and left alone at the hospital about a week before Christmas because my "outbursts" had gotten very frequent and severe to the point the staff thought I was a danger to others. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia form disorder at around 13 but no one at the homes believed I had it, including me. They did, however, think I was "behaviorally dysfunctional". That was a horrible time for me but now I've been living here in Sydney in my own apartment for several years now As a child I was believed to be a "temperamental artist". I was really good at drawing cartoons for my age and also reading so many people said I was intelligent and talented, but I also would sometimes behave unusually. I nearly always wanted to play or do schoolwork alone than with other kids. But because I was happy most of the time and did well at school (math and phys. ed were the only two subjects I did poorly at) I was allowed to be myself. It was when I became a teenager that everything changed. I didn't know how to socialize or relate to other kids my age and the only way they seemed to know how to interact with me was by bullying. My only interests seemed to be drawing cartoons, Garfield comics, and collecting and role-playing with stuffed animals. Nearly all my grades plummeted. I started having panic attacks in class. I was also having physical problems, I had unusually bad and frequent ear infections my entire childhood and as a teen I developed mastoiditis and had to go to the IWK several times for surgery. I would spend the night after surgery in a children's ward instead of one for teens. I am very close to my parents, more than ever since my diagnosis, but I wish I wasn't so dependent on them, either. I have no paying job, never learned how to drive, and even here in Sydney I often live in isolation and get frustrated by the lack of places that support my special interests. Almost everyone I knew as a kid had to leave cape Breton just to get a half-decent job, including my brother who lives about 10 hours away in New Brunswick. My biggest fears are how I will continue to live on my own when my parents are gone and ending up back in the hospital or a home. I have a profound dislike and mistrust of psychiatrists because of their misdiagnosing me as a kid, putting on all kinds of drugs that gave me terrible side effects, and their lack of warmth and compassion. Not all the many shrinks I've seen were like this but most of them were. I still have to take pills for depression and anxiety. I spend most of my time in front of the computer now, I don't indulge in my other interests or talents nearly as much as I should. Sorry if this message is too long or hard to read.

I don't know how to drive either. I had a beginnners once, but that's all. I also don't have a job. I just lost when Hudson's Bay Company shut down Zellers (where I worked). Now I'm looking for work and it is hard to do.
I too have a creative streak in me. I write fiction stories; I also have written two novels and several poems. The first novel features a male character modelled after me who has Asperger's syndrome. It's called "Miss Candace". Google 'miss Candace ebook' if you want to find it.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thanks for the welcome everyone. I will reply individually a bit later I'm testing code as a favour and I love it!

Sweet greetings to WPea



From Mick and Peahawk

Thanks Cockney Rebel! Who is Pea?