I'd been thinking about finding a forum like this for years and finally made the decision to do it. I always felt "different" as a kid and was made fun of quite a bit. Although I've always had close friendships in my life, I went though some difficult times where I did not know how to approach others. Therefore, when I did it incorrectly I was mocked and rejected. School did not bring out the best side of my personality. When I was in kindergarten, I always hit other kids and pulled their hair. On the playground I would spend time alone, and I was "the girl who talks to herself." I would pace back and forth and narrate to myself how I was pretending to be an animal, usually. The friends I had during my school days were often ridiculed for hanging around me. One time a boy told me "nobody likes you, not even your best friend. She just pretends to like you because she's nice." When I was 17 I was unofficially diagnosed by my therapist. She showed me the DSM-IV diagnostic criteria for Asperger Syndrome, and they resonated with me. I'd always had an interest in autism, and never knew there was an "Autism Lite." My thereapist did not give me an official diagnosis, but she wanted me to know that I had characteristics in common with autism. When I bring up the subject that I might have Asperger Syndrome to my mom, she vehmently rejects the idea. "You do not have that!" she insists angrily. "When you were a kid, they tried to diagnose you with that but you don't have it." My mom does not like "labels", and believes that when one is given a label it limits the person. I can sympathize with that view, but I sympathize more with the view that when you have a name for what's "wrong" with you, it is easier to learn about what to do about it. Now, interestingly enough, I work with two autistic boys for a living. (They are 13 and 16 years old.) They're both on the lower functioning end. I think having symptoms an ASD in myself have helped me sympathize and work with these boys.
09 Jan 2007, 12:20 pm
