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I am currently waiting to be assessed for asperger's syndrome. A rather quick turn-around, thoughts are racing in my head, tired all the time right now. I thought it might help to come here and read a bit, which it does, and see all the shiny happy people expressing themselves in the best way possible - through writing.

My mind jumps from "yes, I definitively have asperger's" to "no, this is just a misunderstanding, why would anyone even suspect it". I am an adult female. I spoke to my mother about it yesterday and I expected the latter thought to be confirmed, but she was not dismissive.

Deep breaths, all day long. So overwhelmed and constantly rocking at the moment, which angers me - I do not want to be stimming right now, it does nothing to help my "case". I try to limit what I read, as the constant accusation of "little or no empathy" is getting to me. I know the claim is inaccurate, I knew that a long time before I found myself waiting to be assessed and possibly diagnosed, but it still is bothersome. Past is flashing before my eyes - all the times I have not fit in (and sometimes not even realised in the presence), who I have possibly hurt with my bluntness, the numerous times I have misunderstood by being all too literal. They make me cringe. And rock. And make faces.

So that is currently me.

Who are you currently?

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hi motley,

it is a bit of a rollercoaster ride, going for assessment and having to deal with the fact that you might be on the autistic spectrum and not like other people.

Please don't get hung up on the 'no empathy' thing. Some of us have trouble with recognizing or expressing empathy, but that does not mean it is not there, just that it works a little differently.

I hope that your assessment goes well. It is not a test you can prepare for, you just need to be yourself. Finding some answers may help you to find some peace. I felt a huge sense of relief after my diagnosis, so I hope you feel the same.

Good luck.

Hey motley,

welcome to WP. I'm also an adult female, and I absolutely understand the rollercoaster ride feeling -- I'm wildly fluctuating between "yes, this is it, this is me" and "no, that's presumptuous, how can I go around saying I have an ASD when I seem to manage reasonably well?".

I'm calming down somewhat at the moment as more and more things fall into place (and people who are officially diagnosed with HFA/AS tell me I seem like I'm "within the range" to them).
I hope the same will work for you -- and congratulations for actively going for assessment! I still lack that courage (see above). Hope it'll work out well for you.

Welcome, and enjoy your stay.

Thank you, all, for the warm welcome. It helps.

I find the prospect of "being myself" very troublesome, as I have spent so much of my life attempting to be like everyone else. I have had to do a lot of thinking to see what an effort and what degree of intellectual thought goes in to my every day social interaction. I am guarded in general. Is this common?



I completely understand the lack of courage and worry in regards to assessment. I am regretting it on a daily basis currently, mainly due to all the waiting involved. Maybe you will find it in yourself to take the step in the future, but in the meantime you can use autistic self-help techniques and work on the most important aspect of all; acceptance of yourself as you are, whether it is a diagnosis or not.

Welcome to WrongPlanet!!