I am posting here first before I've visited and read around. Mostly because there is so much information, so many active discussions happening, and I don't know where to start!
My husband and I are getting ready to celebrate our 28th year of marriage. A few years back, he read The Big Short by Michael Lewis, and saw himself all throughout the book. It was the first time he was aware that he had a "hint" of Aspergers. Off and on over the years since, it's come up, but nothing interesting has come of our discussions.
Last week, I had a HUGE aha moment when I put 2 and 2 together, and realized that just about every challenge we have ever had in our marriage - all the puzzles about our relationship that just did not make sense to me, could be attributed to the traits of him having Aspergers. I Googled "Aspergers marriage", and started reading. I can't tell you how encouraging this is, and how much hope this has given me for our marriage to last over the long haul.
The main challenges have been a strange disconnect, lack of intimacy on all levels, his "obsession" about his work that includes a ridiculous amount of travel, and so many things he's said or not said, done or not done, that were such a mystery to me. I know now for sure that he DOES love me, he is not gay, he does not have another secret family somewhere, he is not having an affair.....and so on!! !!
He and I had a long talk about it yesterday, and thankfully he is as intrigued about this as I am. Where do we start? Does he need to be officially diagnosed? Do we need to go back into counseling (we've been in and out of this our whole marriage, and NO one picked up on this!), or just jump in here first to see how much we can figure out on our own with the support and shared stories here?
I look forward to connecting here, and to see where this all leads us.
Thanks!
10 Jul 2013, 12:09 pm
