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I am a 20 year old male college student living in calgary, AB, Canada. My interests include record collecting, playing music, and reading. I've run the gamut of bi-polar, add/adhd, manic depression,etc., but I've always felt there was something else there, that I was "kind of ret*d, but not quite".(not meaning to be derogatory). I've lived in a state of "double-jeoporady" my entire life. First I'd shuffle around, eyes to the ground, like a nervous wreck. Some kind person say's "Pull yer head out of yer azz, you have a life to live". I figure it's all an issue of self-confidence. When I try to immerse myself in a conversation, social situation, I get shut down. I get called a rude, arrogant, prick, inconsiderate, aggresssive; what I thought was "assertiveness". I stick my head back up my a**hole, and people tell me to pull it out only to deride once again.

In social conversations it feels like I'm the obnoxious 5 year old at the dinner table, whom the guests find "cute", but the parents tell to buckle down, or go play with the other little kids.
I need to get laid, I don't care so much about male friends. I've kissed a few girls, but I usually have no clue what they think about me, and am afraid to get to know them, or that I don't want to. A lot of the times they're surprised that I got the wrong impression. I'm always a "little brother". I'm no cretin, in fact I think I have the same sexual urges that most men my age have. I just have an extreme lack of "social tact" or "intuition".

Walking through the halls at school is like a showdown, eye contact with other people is almost impossible. Coordinating myself around people is like playing tetris.I react like people are going to hit me, even though when I think through it rationally:they probably aren't.

My problem is: I know I'm a rational, intelligent, and caring dude, but I just can't express myself in a coherent way....So I was wondering if I had asperger's?

dude, chances are you may have it. i was very much like you. but you have to train yourself to have eye contact. there's a test here that'll help at least. but yeah it's hard to be "outcast". also try to learn to listen. for girls, sorry dude can't help you there. 26 years and i haven't had a girl friend. i guess i prefer to be a loner.

of course when i learned that i probably got it, i was shocked even to the point of being "fanatical". but dude, you really have a great life to live. you just have to enjoy yourself. who cares what they say if you enjoy something, do it! secondly if all else fails don't give up. talk to people, to shrinks or kinks (whatever you call them in there) and yeah kepp in touch in this site. a lot of people here had their share of problems.

anyway welcome to wp!! !

p.s. being an aspie is great!! !

Thanks for the support. I'm kind of torn between diagnosing this thing, and just throwing myself at the world, socially, at not paying attention to the consequences....and as far as lifemates go:

Dick Cheney
Hitler
Tom Arnold, and far uglier and botched people had loved ones, thats what's kept me going.

and I didn't properly guage family friendliness, before getting all lewd. sorry to the moderators.

if you need it to be diagnosed, go ahead, as long as it will help you. and don't chuck out your friends you know. these are the ones you need to live.

You're friends with Dick Cheney? Try not to go hunting with him if you can.

Welcome to WP!

Tim