Lonely Daughter finds WP Community :-)

Post Reply New Topic

Hi everyone!

I never thought I would be back on forums on the Internet but I'm happy to have found this website. Last time I was desperately seeking answers was about 12 years ago, when I knew I had eating disorders and was utterly depressed. I knew I had a problem.

Not so long ago, talking to a counsellor, he asked me about my high-achieving Dad - would he be anywhere on the ASD Spectrum? A lot of the evidence suggests that he might... and that my frustrations for communications and less material proof of love would simply come from him being slightly different...

It has been very difficult on me, I have felt rejected and belittled, all this time I was trying to tell him, explaining again and again... I wanted him to know me for who I'd become and not what I'd become, measuring achievements which were never good enough... I felt I was also measured by the money I was costing him, as a daughter, I felt guilt and still do, very much so.

Even though he hasn't been diagnosed with anything, it really relieves me to think that it is not him but something that might be different about him. I love my Dad, I admire him in so many ways, he has made me a happy kid and whatever comes upon us can't change the fact that I will love him forever... and I know he loves me.

I'm not saying that all my own problems come from my Dad if he does actually have ASD, and I'm not going to confront him with that. It just takes the pressure off, I can focus on getting better...

Over the years, I've become very lonely, trying to sort out the problem with myself.... so if ever there is anyone out there who'd like to reply, PM or just say hi, I'd be most grateful!

All the best to All

J

Welcome

It is widely agreed that the AS traits in my family can be traced through my father's line. I'm BAP (broader autism phenotype), my sister has Asperger's, Dad seems pretty BAP-y as well, my grandfather seems like he was AS, and so on. I have the exact same problems with my father that you've mentioned, which I've struggled with for years and never quite come to terms with. I always attributed it to anxiety, stress, divorce, and upbringing (which includes an immigrant background, where I thought the whole need to achieve thing came from). That said, I never thought it was related to his more AS traits - the thought never even occurred to me. If it is, however, then this is going to be a giant paradigm shift for me. What makes you think it is? Not questioning, just extremely curious because it really applies to my situation as well, and - like I said - would be a HUGE shift in perspective for me if true.

No matter the cause, though, I feel for you. If you want someone to talk to about it, PM me.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thank you for welcoming me! It feels great to be able to chat. Thanks again and all the best to you ALL!

Hi. Welcome to WP. You may get your genes and your tendancies from your parents and training, but now that you know. It's your freedom to start the process of becoming your own person . Good luck.