I'd like your feedback

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Where to start?

I'm an INTJ by MBTI type indicator. That explained a whole lot about me, but there are some stuff that kept bothering me... and I ended up here asking you who have some experience what you think.

One is stress. I don't exactly get what a meltdown is. Is it a rage attack from stress?
I get some times such thing. As a kid I used to alleviate stress (emotional mostly) by hitting the door frame. But I was in almost full control. I knew it can hurt me worse than "needed"...but I went around with blue under arm quite often and almost broke my wrist once. I needed it to get myself crying, otherwise I could not do it. I strictly did it alone and felt somewhat guilty about it. (I had some suicidal thoughts too that time...mostly before the age of 18)
Now life is much more relaxed. I live alone and like it that way. Nothing on weekends, neighbours are enough...would love to live in the woods (except there are bears)
In the office I still get sometimes more angry than "appropriate", or it shows off more. The thing is, it comes from little events: colleagues chit-chat (I cant't care less if they don't work, just be silent), or a bad feedback, nothing extreme. I _know_ my reaction is overdone. I just don't know why and how not to do it.

Does this sound to you as a meltdown or I'm just "hysteric"?
Otherwise I'm cool and silent, a shadow on the wall, not messing around much.

If it is a meltdown (or not), do you have a suggestion how to cope with it? Stress ball? (I never got how it works.)

I don't think that everyone has meltdowns the exact same way, and NT people freak out every day. A meltdown can look like anything, or nothing at all. I tend to just shut down, but I have yelled and I have cried uncontrollably. I usually feel like I have some measure of control, except for a few times.

Mine usually have to do with being under constant pressure for long periods of time, and the cure for mine has been understanding when I start getting close to my limits and giving myself space to relax. I avoid pressuring myself to actively conform, and just stay quiet but engaged. If I don't expect people to behave in a particular way, then their incomprehensible actions don't bother me as much.

Also, I distrust anything that I think when I am holding my breath.

Welcome.

Any kind of stress, prolonged or brief can cause problems, whether NT, or on the spectrum, but it seems that ASD people seem to have more difficulty coping with or processing the emotions that come with stress.
So far as meltdowns, I think they are kind of personal, but for me, I find if I am tired, stressed, or overwhelmed, it can take the littlest unexpected or unwanted thing to happen to set me off. It may be an unexpected phone call, finding bird crap on my car, or cutting myself shaving, or even the weather being different to how I'd expect or prefer.
Likewise the meltdowns can go from one extreme to another.
It might be that I'll just scream, I might take a deep breath, or I may destroy an inanimate object, like smash a mobile phone, MP3 Player, or if I'm lucky, I might just throw an empty plastic bottle or rubber ball, as it will do less damage.

So far as relaxing, or avoiding meltdowns, it's a gradual process.
You need to have some quiet and alone time, you need to learn to let go, by something like yoga, meditation, martial arts, or just walking quietly in the wilderness, or some sort of exercise where you are not overly stimulated but can burn off excess energy.
Mindfulness helps, and certainly there are plenty of psychologists, and books that can assist.

You can't stop being the person you are, whether you are ASD or not, but you can learn to develop strategies to cope with life.
Some will be more effective than others, and you will need to tailor your strategies to suit your personality and lifestyle.

We never stop learning in life, or struggling, and suffering, but we can use what we learn to make our lives a bit easier.

It's a meltdown when you're no longer able to control it. The ongoing challenge of living with autism is learning ways to extend that control. I learned to go inside and hide when I was two and it's still the most reliable strategy.