what to do when daddy doesnt listen

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I just wondered if anyone has faced the issue of child is diagnosed with autism,dad doesnt admit anything is wrongtho he has been tossed out of 6 daycares because of his behavior. we have not been together since son was born and he will not get at all involved with treatment, counselling,decisions or anything else. Its to the point now he wants to have joint custody (saying I just dont know how to handle my child) and i am truly worried this will make my son much more confused and miserable. I dont even know how to treat him but i am at least researching and goig to weekly counselling sessions and looking for answers and i wish he would at least listen and try to use the same intervention st his house.
i also wondered if anyone else had ideas about how to get him to desire to do good. right now he does great at school but at home he is extemely defiant and aggressive. i have a six month old as well who is adding to the concern. my son is on rispedal for aggressive bhavior but is not working. Dr wants to put him on stimulant to calm him but am afraid it will make him regress in other areas he has improved on.

oh my and the list goes on. Troubles so many.lol. Just really overwhelming and have been at this now for four years and only gotten a touch of help in a 15 minute observation, the doctor diagnosed him and sent me to a neurologist who said within 15 minutes of watching him that he is autistic and that was all i got. No answers as to what to do next......

How old is he? Is he working at the grade level of other kids his age?

he is five on sunday and he is recognizing and writing letters he writes his name minus the vowels lol but i think he is pretty much on level academically its more his logic? or reasoning skills and motor and social skills that suffer and the behavior/emotion

My nephew will be 5 in march. He is about at the same level (or a little
more advance since he puts the vowels in his name )

My sister and her husband work at home (computer programming)
and deal with him and his younger brother. Both sound abit like your oldest son.

I do not have much advice since I'm not a parent. I have been trying to get both boys to increase their omega-3 fatty acid intake.
There are some studies showing it can improve a number of problems. One nephew was taking 1 gram gel capsules twice a day
for a few weeks. Which its pretty amazing to get a kid to swallow a
pill but he stop taking them after he had a cold. I think his thoart was sore and it bothered him. I got them eating omega-3 enriched
eggs (available at most stores now I think) but they do not eat enough of them.

well thank you i will check into that one havent heard that yet....

since you have a diagnoses for your son, then a court would look at medical records and pretty much force his father so comply with therepies if there was a joint custody, or the court would side with you because they could see that he's getting what he needs.

that's if you were to go to court for the matter.

oh wow i wondered about tht then that is a huge relief......