Finally Landed... But Still Orbiting

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Hi everyone.

I've known about this forum for QUITE a few years now, but didn't have the confidence to take the plunge. But now I have. Not sure how I feel about it yet. I know others have found this forum helpful, what with the "camaraderie" and whatnot. Hopeful I get the same help. Hopeful I'm comprehensible.

I'm a 23yo female american, married with two cats and a horse. Husband is currently deployed and I don't work, so I've been spending a lot of time lately just... thinking. The dreaded thinking. The horrible thinking. That dastardly THINKING. Silence is my biggest enemy. There have been times I thought I was schizophrenic - my mind makes up for any lapse in sound. With thinking about 2,000 things at once. Which means I'm very dependent on keeping to a schedule. Which isn't the easiest thing to do when there's only one thing I HAVE to do every day and can procrastinate with cleaning up the wazoo - finally caved and hired a maid after a fellow horse friend saw my home. It isn't dirty, but it's definitely messy..... And the trash may or may not have been sitting at the front door for the past month. And god FORBID I get my butt in gear and reregister the car, let alone pay my cellphone bill on-time. Ditto for rent and horse board. (in my defense I was supposed to receive a package in the mail with my car's reregistration info but haven't yet)

Anywho.

I enjoy reading science-fiction and fantasy novels and everything by James Rollins. I listen mostly to Trance/Progressive and Alternative music, but still love Britney Spears and Debussy. I used to play flute. I like designing things and drawing and imagining entire worlds with their own histories but am crap at getting what I imagine onto paper/out of my head. I'm told I'm a great soprano, but nitpick every note that isn't absolutely perfect. I don't know what I would do without my crunchyroll subscription. Used to read a lot of manga, but feel that the new series are rehashes of older ones, and can't stay interested. I was raised to appreciate good movies and can't stand when I'm dragged to something like Fast & the Furious by the husband... especially that it's always with a group of his military friends. (there's a reason "military intelligence" is an oxymoron!!) Naturally, I haven't expressed these things to him. He puts up with a lot of my BS. I figure if what he wants to do won't kill/physically harm me, I can take a pill and play the role of the good wife for a few hours.

I hate going out in public, unless it's somewhere I'm comfortable, like a tack shop. Or starbucks. But only my favorite starbucks - all others I use the drive-thru. The most "socializing" I get is online, with fellow gamer friends and horse obsessed women. I hate phone calls. I wish everyone could text. Don't get me started on my mother issues - let's just say one friend likes to call me Rapunzel. Have a cookie if you understand why.

If I had to pick a theme song, it would have to be LG FUAD by Motion City Soundtrack.

I feel like I'm rambling, so I'll end my introduction here. And I'm tired. Today has been a mentally draining day and I'm due for another first thing in the morning.

~ Irkalla

Welcome

That's quite an introduction. I too feel like 'rupunzel', when comparing mothers. I don't want to make any assumptions here with your situation, but I believe my mother to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome

Welcome!

I can relate to your comments about thinking; I do that too.

I try to do what a friend once said: " I do well to remember that the thoughts going through my head are there primarily for entertainment purposes. "

Welcome aboard our aspie spaceship!