New here and think I might have undiagnosed autism.

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Hi!

My name is Jenna and i'm 34 years old. For a long time I've considered myself to be very shy and somewhat socially awkward, but of late I've starting to think there might be something more there and I hope you can help.

I think there is a good possibility that I have aspergers or fit somewhere on the autism spectrum.

My reasons for suspecting this:

I was very speech delayed as a young child, to the point that I was being taught sign language in case I never talked and had to take speech classes all throughout elementary school. (remember the speech classes vividly, but the sign language I was too young to recall from memory, only know from being told)

I often growing up would repeat my last word under my breath in a whisper, I've seen come to find out this is known as Palilalia and also a possible autism symptom.

I've always had and still have difficulty looking people in the eye and am normally quite uncomfortable in most social situations.

Finally I've had and still have various traits that may or may not be considered stims. To name a mere few:

clicking my nails on things like desks, using empty water bottles like a drum stick and hitting my leg and objects around me with it, getting my joints in my knees and wrists to pop over and over, running my hands through my hair and scratching my ears. counting things and then counting them in reverse. An example would be having five or six tabs open on my browser and then using the mouse to make the pointer touch each one and counting to myself one..two...three...four...five as I do so and then doing the same thing in reverse five..four..three...two..one. Hopefully that last one makes sense.

Most of these things I can control for the most part when away from home, but when home alone and especially when also bored I find myself doing them and even though I'm aware of it, find them hard to stop and sorta compelled to start doing.

Anyway thanks for reading, does this sound like possible autism spectrum to any of you, or is it likely to be something else?

Definitely signs of someone on the spectrum. Whether or not you truly are on it, you are among friends here. Welcome aboard

Hi and welcome.im no expert and dont know if i have it or not myself but a lot of that does seem like asperger traits.the counting seems more like an ocd thing which is common for those on the specrtum.there are a few online tests you can take.they are in no way a diagnosis but can give you an idea.i cant remember where they are,mabe others can help whith that.

huh i didnt know many of these were autism sign or yeah, it made me a little more sure i have it myself, but yknow maybe you should just get tested

Thanks for the replies.

Already plan on talking to both my doctor and therapist about this.

I took the autism quotient test online a few days ago an scored a borderline score. In a lot of ways a diagnosis would be reassuring, it would at least explain why I do certain things and why I have so much trouble socially.

I noticed a short while ago how physically hard it is not to stim all the sudden, or at least what I assume to be stimming.

Stopped to eat breakfast before work and it was mentally hard to keep my right hand from doing it's thing. I wanted to tap my fingernails l, I wanted to wiggle my fingers around.

Not sure if it's always been this har for me not to, doesn't seem like it....

Or if it's simply a case of putting the pieces together, becoming more aware than ever before and simply noticing it more.

Those stims just sound like fidgets that everyone does.

Are you impaired in anyway? Do you have narrow circumscribed interests - not hobbies? Sensory issues? Does change in routine distress you? I don't know much about speech disorders, but are you sure your early speech delay was due to a neurodevelopmental disability like autism, or just a speech disorder in itself?

Did you display any other signs in early childhood, very poor social integration, something others would have noticed??

Are you still impaired by these problems today?

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No not at all certain that my speech issue wasn't simply a speech impairment and nothing more, it's certainly possible.

I don't feel that I'm impaired for the most part, notable exception would be socially and yes, it's still an issue today. I've always had trouble starting and maintaining conversation and find eye contact difficult. I've also always had a lot of difficulty dating and am perpetually single because of it (though would rather not be single) I'm just very introverted in general.

I also in many cases feel very uncomfortable around very many people and often want to leave the situation.

Not sure how narrow my interest would be considered, into sports...mostly baseball, punk rock and craft beer to name a few.

Also for what it's worth I'm trans and though now legally female, was born male. That's not something I typically mention and admit to people, but want to be as detailed as possible in this case.

Jenna, I think that your thread cannot realistically be continued on the Getting To Know You forum!

I have only one experience of transgender issues, but I can easily understand that feelings of exclusion from normality might arise from more than one source.

I think that many of us live a life in isolation, and it is very hard to pinpoint a reason why.

I think we are probably victims of the process of evolution, but because the human race has developed the concept of right and wrong (as well as the ability to alter the the course of nature), it is probably arguable that some of our problems are self-inflicted.

This is in no way intended to belittle the pain which you continue to experience, but I think that sometimes we need to recognise our own individual limits, and accept that we are simply not like the majority of the population, and will never be able to enjoy the simplicity of the typical human experience.

I hope this doesn't come over as being in any way unsympathetic - I genuinely believe that the continuing quest for an explanation or a diagnosis is sometimes doomed to failure. Some of us simply do not conform to the cultural or biological norm, and the neuro-typicals and the bio-typicals will always make up the rules.

You're likely right.

I would love to get a firm diagnosis of some sort, answers would be nice.

I understand it may never happen though. I'm going to talk to my doctor and therapist about it, how far I pursue a formal diagnosis beyond that I don't know.

I'm close to comfortable self diagnosing myself at the very least as fitting somewhere on the spectrum.

Thanks again for the help everyone, going to likely stick around here.

Welcome!

Be careful of the tests that place you as "borderline." Most of the online tests I've taken put me on the borderline, however I am actually a very high-functioning autistic. The online tests are a great way to find out if you might be in the ballpark, but they are not sufficient. That said, I think they are always good to include in the mix of data. Many clinicians mistake autism for all sorts of other things resulting in delayed and wrong treatment. Be sure to let the professionals know about your online results.

Regards,
Rob