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Hello everyone!

I have been lurking on here all week and thought it about time I joined in and said hi.

I am 36 years old and live in the UK and I work for the NHS. I fit in at work and am happy there. There are other people I work with who are not NT's, such as BPD, OCD etc so I am not alone, or more to the point, I don't stand out too much. Several of the NT's frequently tell me I am on the spectrum somewhere, and that's a source of entertainment to them. That's fine with me.

I met a guy recently (I happen to be gay) who works in the counselling sector and he asked me if I had ASD. He pointed out some of my traits, and I did a few of the assessments online, which corroborated his theory. Naturally, I found this forum and have trawled through a large part of it and I have to say it has opened my eyes!

The main trait I don't have is that I can actually make eye contact with other people, not that that really helps me read people all that well. I can tell if someone is happy or sad or angry, but a lot of the subtleties often escape me. I rarely catch sarcasm unless the tone of voice is *really* sarcastic, but otherwise I take it all too literally. Whilst I can interact with people and have people who may consider me their friend (at work this is), I don't have any strong connection to them in return. Similar to the Wrong Planet theory, I liken it to playing a video game. People are characters in that game and I must interact with them to achieve goals, live, etc. If I was told that I wouldn't see or hear from a specific person (no matter how much I got on with them) ever again, I'd be like "ok then" and just carry on with my life. No connection. Ergo I have no friends to speak of.

I go home at the end of the day to my house (my sanctuary) and forget about everyone until the next day. I don't dislike company, I just pick and choose when I want it. On my terms. I have my special interests, but rather than one or two lifelong interests, I will have one that I think about 24/7 for a random length of time and then one day I'll lose interest and before I know what's happening a new one will come along. When I first looked at the DSM-IV criteria I thought I didn't have this trait as I didn't have one lifelong interest. Reading this forum has shown me that I do.

I brought the subject up with my mum and she seemed surprised that I thought that I had AS (ASD, whatever they're calling it these days), but when I started digging into my childhood, some things came up that I had forgotten about but support my case.

Up until I was around 11, I used to walk on the balls of my feet. Well, almost- I'd walk back to front, ball first then heel rather than the regular way of heel first. I was forced to learn my way out of that and I remember my calves hurting like hell for ages as I was constantly nagged to "walk properly". I was always an obedient child and did as I was told, never considering the possibility of defying my instructions.

My mum also told me getting my hair cut was hell on Earth for her and I refused to get it done, either at a salon or by her herself. To this day I hate it and get shivers down my spine any time anyone comes near me with scissors/clippers from behind. For the last decade or so, I have cut my own hair.

I can't eat soup of any kind (it's not food if I can't chew it). I can't eat mince as it feels like I'm eating gravel (so no lasagne, spag bol etc) and I have never finished a cup or tea or coffee in my life, always leaving approximately 1cm at the bottom. This is because by then it's too cold. I drink my tea/coffee scalding hot. That leads me on to not able to eat cold food that's meant to be hot, e.g. cold pizza is a big no no.

I stim (predominantly by playing with an object with my hands; any object, a pen, toenail clippers is a favourite), I parrot (echolalia) and I talk non stop to myself.

I could go on and on but I should stop now. I'm sure I will be around here for a long time, so more about me will come out in time. So, again, hey!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hello Ashkent and welcome to WrongPlanet!

Of course no one can make an actual diagnosis online but you definitely do have some Aspie traits

And no one has all the traits, nor necessarily the same traits, we are all part Autistic and part Neurotypical (or at least I have never seen someone who had a score of 100% on tests, either NT or AS, but then again I am not a psychologist, so maybe there is a few people like that, but it is certainly uncommon). Some of us can look at people in the eyes, myself I can, its just that if I look at someone in the eyes for too long I start focusing on one eye or the other and it gets very annoying lol, my loved one who also has ASD can also look at people in the eyes, some of his "issues" are things like you mentioned, for example taking things litterally (teasing and jokes included).

I will stop here and again welcome to WP, in my opinion you have found the best website

Just add a "T," and you have an exotic place called Tashkent.

Welcome to the forums!