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Hello,

I joined WP because I need some friends and some help navigating social situations.

I strongly suspect I have Aspergers. I first suspected that *maybe* I was on the spectrum when I was in college for education and came across a list of characteristics of people with ASD. I just had too many. But a lack of certain traits convinced me that probably wasn't right. Things like this kept repeating until a couple of years ago, when I came across characteristics that were specifically related to females. Then, I began to think this could really explain the difficulties I had growing up, and still have.

My mom works with kids with various disorders, including kids on the spectrum, and said there was no way I could be. But, a few days later she said she had thought about it and I might be on to something.

My mother's brother is autistic for sure, and I strongly suspect my dad and at least one of his brothers has Aspergers.

I cannot seek an official diagnosis right now with the way health insurance is. Everything would be completely out of pocket, which I can't afford.

Without realizing what I was doing or why, I have set up my adult life in such a way as to reduce a lot of stimulation overload. But I still have minor freak-outs from time to time, and I had a major meltdown a couple of weeks ago. (The first really bad one in a very long time.)

I am happily married with two kids that I homeschool,, and I am a musician. My husband is actually the one that has helped me with all of this the most, without realizing what he was doing. He has stuck by me through all my oddities and in many ways has been a "coach", explaining to me why such-and-such behavior was not palatable to others (esp. when we were dating.) He loved me enough to take me as I was, yet also to gently point out things which I could improve. I am not the same person I was before I met him, so my Aspie traits are not as obvious, but still there.

I was hoping that I'd have a better social life as an adult, but it seems that these problems keep following me around!

I am also nervous that I probably have not noticed issues with my kids since I homeschool and a lot of ASD-type behaviors are normal to me. But, on the other hand, I went all the way through school being ridiculed, thought odd, ostracized, and isolated without anyone ever suspecting I might be on the spectrum. So, going to school doesn't necessarily help the problems get better.

Welcome and great story.

I too have a wonderful spouse (wife, in my case) who helped me to see what was going on and encouraged me through the whole process. It's helped us immensely ans she, at this point, has read more about Asperger's than I have-- although I must say, I have far more experience with it

In our case, it kind of started as a joke about "late-onset Asperger's" but then she started doing some research and eventually figured out that there was nothing "late onset" about it, and that I had been that way all along. Unfortunately I graduated High School before the term "Asperger's Syndrome" ever came into use, so there was no way anyone could have known.

I do have a rant about an ex-wife who found out our son was AS nine years before I was diagnosed, but never told me. I try to forgive as much as I can-- but there is no forgiveness for that. Not from me anyway.

So be glad you have someone who's willing to work with you. You and your husband might also find the book "Loving Someone with Asperger's" by Dr. Cindy Ariel very helpful.

Hi & Welcome,

It is like that for many of us, the uncertainty on the road to determining the truth. It can be especially hard to decide when you are at the higher functioning end of the spectrum, because it is common to completely lack certain ASD symptoms. But that does not mean you can't have it. More investigation, perhaps some self tests, etc, might help clarify the issue. My road sounds quite similar to yours. Late discovered ASD (but always was 'different'), married to supportive NT, homeschooled kids. But diagnoses have not been desirable in my case as my career was in the military. My son has followed and recently entered military, and is certainly on the spectrum, but unaware. Yet he has thrived in that environment and accomplished many things and met all the challenges.