Introducing myself

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Hi, I am William, 26 years old (already ;( ) and have been diagnosed with autism. Not a particular kind but I have enough weirdness to qualify as someone with an autistic spectrum disorder. I have always felt alone in this world. Have never had any true friends. They always used me for my skills (good with computers and have a lot of stuff). The last few years have been very rough for me. I had to move because people bullied me were I lived. I couldn't do anything about it so I just moved and now it's going better. I just can't get to grips with my autism. Everything around me feels so weird. My feelings don't register correctly. I really feel like an alien. I don't go outside much because I always get in trouble with so called "normal people". I have high morals and principals and I often see people being mean or something to someone that can't protect themselfs and I then get into an argument which does not end well most of the time. I just try to avoid people. Most "normal people" I know lie a lot and just aren't trustworthy. They say things that are incredibly mean and I find it hard to deal with that. They don't respect but criticise everything. I like to stay home and just enjoy myself with my hobbies and most people just don't understand why I don't want to go outside. I don't even know what to do outside.

I have always been a person who doesn't care how someone looks or what their problems are. I respect people more when they have some sort of problems (if you can call it that). As a kid I protected everyone at my school from bullies but not one person ever protected me. Till this day I always try to be good and help whenever I can. I always ask how someone is doing and really care but I never get it back. People just don't care about me. I am different and they just don't want to put energy in me. They treat me like I am some kind of doormat. It hurts me to see people around me having friends, a love partner and other things that I probably will never have because of my autism and other problems. Everywhere you look, love in songs, TV shows, movies and even video games. It feels like everybody has someone except me and that hurts me really bad inside. I feel like I am a good guy. I go through fire for strangers and I always strive to be good. I can't even play as a bad character in a video game because I just don't find being evil fun and can't understand why other people would want to play evil.

I am an overly sensitive person. I feel everything to much. Because of the loneliness I feel and not getting what life means to me I am very depressed. I can't get into my hobby's anymore and don't find much fun anymore. I was a very cheery person who makes funny noises and was just fun to be around but now I feel like I am stuck in time and everybody around me changes except me. Other family members got a girlfriend, got married, bought their own home, have good jobs, I don't have any of that. I feel like I failed in live.

Sorry for this depressing introduction. I just wanted to tell a part of my story and what I have been going through. I just want people to accept me for who I am and understand me. I want to meet people that I can trust and talk to about the problems that come with autism. I am a bit tired of always being alone.

I am normally a fun person who can make people laugh. I like watching TV shows, playing video games (mostly games with a good story) and watching movies.

Welcome, William!

There's nothing wrong with caring about people, though since they're so clearly important to you I would suggest you not generalize, my best friend on earth is NT and she's fantastic. Though I may not understand my NT friends or even perhaps the whole of my own social life, I'm extremely grateful for their understanding. We're all only people, so I think being forgiving is all we really need.

Welcome to WP, I think we can teach each other a lot!

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I did not mean to generalize. People around me are just like I wrote, can't say anything else. I know there are good people out there but I just haven't met them yet. Sorry if i offended you in some way, it was not meant that way.

What do you mean by "NT friends"?

I am glad you have people that try to understand you and respect you. I am jealous of that

Hi William, welcome to WP and thank you for sharing. Sometimes it just helps to get things off your chest by writing about it and I find WP the perfect place for doing that!. I find it helps.

Okay, got it! Thanks for the explanation. Only thing that came to my mind was Windows NT

You're welcome. Glad I could help.

Wow! People are actually nice here. I feel very welcomed!