How did you feel after diagnosis?

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I was diagnosed with Asperger's at the end of April, so that was about 2 months ago. Since that time I seem to be very confused emotionally over the whole deal. At times I feel relieved-after 40 years of being in and out of therapy I finally know what is wrong and it helps to explain my past behaviors and problems some.

At times I feel like I want to be angry, but I can't for some reason. I feel depressed at times, and numb other times. Sometimes I just don't know what I feel at all over this.

How did others feel shortly after being diagnosed? Do you feelings get more integrated over time about Asperger's? What is the main feeling you have now about it?

First time I had heard about it was when I overheard my parents having a discussion about it. I was upset that they didn't tell me before, but ultimately my first response was curiosity. I didn't know what it was until I did some research. When I found out about everything, I thought it explained a lot, but I never really think about it that much.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I've never been formally diagnosed myself as I feel there is no need to do so in my case. It's incredibly obvious that I have AS, but I never knew much about it until a couple of years ago. When I finally came to the conclusion that I had it, I actually felt incredibly relieved. I now understood why I was so different from everyone else and I became more accepting of my personality. That doesn't mean I don't get depressed about it sometimes, but I'm much better off than I was a few years ago. I guess you could say I feel liberated.

It seems that your situation is much different from mine, but I think that you will become acclimated to it shortly. When I feel emotionally confused, it helps to write things down as I experience them. If I have something tangible to look at, it helps me gather my thoughts. I do hope you begin to feel better soon and remember that all of us can relate to your predicament.

Oh, and welcome to WrongPlanet!

Thanks for the welcomes. Yes, I am very relieved also. It does explain so many of my past behaviors and experiences. It was encouraging to find out that my lack of getting dates was probably related to social awkwardness and not reading social signals well. For so long I told myself it was because I must be incredibly ugly.

I was depressed last week thinking about how much better things would have been in the past if I wasn't an Aspie. I know that is wrong thinking and you can't change the past, but I know one of the symptoms of Asperger's is obsessing about negative events of the past. I felt so alone and unlovable in graduate school as I was the only one of my classmates who wasn't married or in a relationship. I have a great life today, but I wish I didn't have to go through that past pain. It still hurts to remember it.

I was diagnosed in 2008, aged 11. I think I remember feeling a strong sense of relief because all my life kids called me crazy and mental and told me I should be a in a mental asylum and there I was given a reason for my strange behaviour.

I think I remember my mum being more happy. We were given a lot of help after the diagnosis and my behaviour went from constant meltdowns, violent behaviour and screaming to less meltdowns, hardly any violent behaviour and no screaming. I was also put into a private high school for children with Autism and that helped me tremendously (I finished that school almost a year ago and I am now in college).

I feel happy about it, even though sometimes I hate my Autism. I show the behaviour of someone with severe Autism (lots of rocking, flapping, jumping, noises etc) but have an average (maybe above) IQ, so I'm aware of people staring and judging me in public, it doesn't make me feel happy or comfortable but I'm learning to deal with it.

Thanks for the reply Coda. What do you think helped you to overcome the meltdowns and violent behavior? I have gotten better in that area, though.

I am still in the process of getting a formal diagnosis. My son was diagnosed and his Psychologist suggested that I have it as well. In doing research on my son's diagnosis it eventually became plain to my wife and I that I have Asperger's. It was suggested that I write a book that I never did finish. In it I said that finding out was in some ways harder and worse than finding out one has cancer. Cancer is understood. It's accepted, there is usually a clear course of treatment. While Asperger's explained a lot about me, there was no, "fix" for the symptoms I experience (revolving door of jobs 20+ in 10 years). There was no game plan to help with my inability to see social ques. It spun me into a bout of depression for a while. The I read a book written by the founder of GRASP (Global Regional Asperger's Partnership). He says most people feel this way for about 6 months to a year. In that regards I guess something about me can be considered "normal". Ultimately now I've come to grips with it. I still need to figure out how to get and keep a job however.

At first (I was diagnosed 4 days ago) it was an extreme relive, I left the room and wanted to dance. There was a huge smile on my face, I told my dad abut the result and insisted to visit my grandma to tell her. She was the one who supposed I have Asperger in the first place. We did (she said she knew it all along). I was like drunk, I hit a wall and forgot my umbrella when I was leaving her house afterwards. Then I come back home and run straight to my computer - to read more and to share my didgnosis on this forum.

But then. A few days passed... and I don't feel so happy anymore. I still think it is a good thing to know, I am happy I am going to get some help and that I am not just "lazy" but I finally start to realize the impact of diagnosis in my life. I will never be normal. There are stuffs I will never be able to do. I got virtually no chance for a normal relationship. And if I decide to have a baby it will probably inherit the traits. Not like I never known it. I was aware I inherited my parents traits long before I heard about Asperger. I knew I inherited lots of genes from my dads family side (I was often compared to his "mentally disabled" sister) and a "gift" of prosopagnosia from my mother side (which makes it worse - to the point I am barely able to realize that people are individual beings). I was sure I would pass at least some of the genes down if I had a child. But now it is confirmed. That sucks.

I also have doubts what route I should take - hide my traits or get an "autism pride" and do whatever I want. And I will probably end up with a "mental disability" label (unless I decide not to go for real help or it ends up I am too high functioning to get it). My IQ is 128 (on a scale where Mensa level starts at 132) and they dare to call me mentally disabled? What the hell? But well. At least I might finally be able to attend the jobs for "disabled people" in my area. I really liked some of those (such as working in archives or putting data into computers) but they never let me attend because "those are offers for disabled people only" (government gives money to offices if they employ someone with disability).

What's worst - I seem to lose my special interest. I was living the diagnosis for last a few months (reading, preparing materials, writing "essays" for about 10h everyday) but right now I no longer see a point in doing this (I do but the "obsession" feeling is gone). My life suddenly got empty...

Hello there & welcome to Wrong Planet.

I only been here 2 days now myself but I have known others with various autism spectrum disorders and other disabilities on-line for decades, of all ages.

My own story is posted not too far down the list if you wish to read it.

One way to think of it is you are still the same person before and after the official diagnosis, but now you have something to help relate to things with. Anything life changing, either something totally new to your life or learning/figuring something out about yourself can trigger strong emotions. That is actually rather common. I personally find when I have to deal with something new that overwhelms me is when I am most likely to loose control of my emotions. For me it's along the lines of since I haven't dealt with it, I haven't developed any coping mechanisms that lets me deal with such a situation. Chances are your emotional state will return to normal once the shock factor wears off. I can also warn that there's a good chance you'll be drawn to this group or another/others like it. Chances are you'll be experiencing a lot of other things for a first time, things that aren't easily explained in words, and usually based around finding others you can relate too.

I think you are very lucky to have found someone who was able to give you a proper diagnosis. People of my generation and earlier often go through life knowing there is something different about themselves, and have come to realize that any label stuck on them during the school years may explain one or two things but doesn't fit in many other ways.

In my case since there wasn't many places i could go for a formal diagnosis for a long while I was self-diagnosed until about 7 years ago. If you have the right focus you can research and develop your own coping mechanisms for dealing with certain things that have been hard for you in the past. There are plenty of behavior therapy groups out there that may or may not be accessible to you (they are not always free and not always covered by insurance) and there are countless chat groups on the net that are either centered around individuals with autism-spectrum diagnosis' or have attracted many within the spectrum. You won't relate to everyone since there are many ways people cope with things but i'm sure you'll find plenty of individuals you can relate too.

Just keep in mind that in the on-line world there aren't any therapists who can legally give direct help (such licenses to be such are only valid in an individual's state and/or country), but sometimes someone may be able to offer safe advice that may help, or even if it's not for the help you may find individuals who are far easier to relate too than you have experienced in the past. When you are ready to move forward you are more than welcome to join the chat group. There's a chat link at the top of this page, you can then either use the web interface or get an irc client to chat with other individuals who either have aspergers, other disabilities in the same spectrum, or knows those who are in the spectrum.

Don't know how I felt after the diagnosis... Was a little shock when a psychologist described with confidence that I do have it. After being advised to study on Aspergers, a lot of things made sense, so it come to no surprise to me before or after the official diagnosis.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

The Potential Dangers Associated with the ?Aspergers? Label
http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2011/08 ... -with.html

Aspergers does not have to be a "negative self-fulfilling prophecy" - As people become "older and wiser" (along with growing awareness and discussions of Autism Spectrum Disorders e.g., Wrong Planet Forum), Aspergers can at least be treated as neutral.

At first I was ambivalently torn between the depressing fact that Asperger's is an untreatable syndrome, and the positive aspect of finally knowing, followed by a still ongoing process of redefining the past in light of the new insight while trying to adapt to the present. The situation is somewhat chaotic at the moment, but I've previously been through a similar process related to philosophy. It's just a matter of restructuring the mind in accordance with the new facts. I'll get there, and so will you. Just give it some time.

I went through 3 week (3 appointment) assessment period with the therapist I was referred to; during that time, I was obsessed with aspergers: the reading material, where I fit, where I didn't. I a strong yearning to get positive results, a paranoia that I was over stating my aspie like tenancies and fooling everyone, myself included. My logic was "I must have aspergers, if I don't, all those social inadequacies were because I am just bad...what if I am bad and I'm just fooling everyone into thinking I have aspergers?" I was extremely stressed, confused, andbeating myself up without any good reason. But on that third appointment (a little more than a year ago), he said you are definitely on the spectrum, and confirmed I have aspergers, even after I suggested to him that there was some sort of pervasive placebo effect I was exhibiting during the process. It was relieving, I was overwhelmed with self-acceptance, and I kind of made myself feel comfortably awkward for a little while. Now a year later, more comfortable with the balance of having my own set of healthy but challenging social standards, but not forgetting that what I am and why so many things are different for me. I've also come to accept that this is not about not being bad because I have aspergers, being mediocre in a lot of ways and having few protrusive weaknesses does not dictate someone's value as a human being. I do possess a talent for obsessing over somthing and craving the closure of finishing an incomplete task, something I am trying to take outside of my special interests.

One word of advise, if think your family members may self-diagnose without so much as picking up Tony Attwood's book...be as brief and concise as you can when you come out...you start pinpointing and pining over all your little tenancies, they'll start to get ideas and start thinking "I think I'm aspie too...everyone has aspergers!" (mind you I've heard this from brother and mother who are social butterflies and amount the funniest most likeable people of their friends). It doesn't matter what they think in the grand scheme of things, but with all that emotion built up over my diagnosis and the times I reflected on where it affected my life, I cannot help but cringe when people all of a sudden think they're experts without doing a little reading.

i was diagnosed when i was four, so...i don't remember.