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mmichelle1970
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09 Dec 2014, 2:16 pm

I have yet to get him to admit or even get a diagnosis but I know he has it. I am here for any input or advice



Xanthic~Rain
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09 Dec 2014, 2:33 pm

I saw my diagnosis as a huge positive. Your husband seems to think it's something negative. If you could determine why he views it negatively, you might be able to get him to come around.


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livnah
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09 Dec 2014, 2:35 pm

Best idea: get him tested.

"I know he has it" is as detrimental as saying "I know my kid is gay" or "I know my sister has cancer". It does nothing other than say a whole lot about you and your troubled relationship with the other person.

Even if you do get him tested or "to admit it", then what? Isn't he still the same person? Do you need a label, diagnosis, or confirmation in order to love him and understand him as a person?


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RoadRatt
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09 Dec 2014, 3:42 pm

Hey mmichelle1970 welcome. :sunny:


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ziggyramone
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09 Dec 2014, 4:14 pm

Welcome!


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okiechick
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20 Dec 2014, 11:42 am

The diagnosis does change things a little. There are positives (it explains a lot) and it can be a little scarynrollercoaster too (wow, I married an aspie?) . I am an NT married to an aspie. I was the one that brought the idea up with my husband 2 years into our marriage. I mentioned it and then dropped the subject until he wanted to talk about it. I explained I thought this might explain some of his behaviors but then I gave him time to process, research it, and within a week or two he wanted to talk about it more. He agreed that this might explain a lot about him. He thought his daughter had it, bit had never considered he could be on the spectrum. We talked about getting a diagnosis, but I told him that was totally his decision. A couple of months went by. We both read some books and educated ourselves. We didnt talk much about it. Then he decided to get a diagnosis. After the doctor confirmed our suspicions we both went through some rough waters trying to digest what this means for our relationship and he spent a lot of time analysing his past. We are seeing a therapist to work on our communication skills and his social anxieties. Everyone is different, but my advice is to give him some time, let him know you love him no matter what, and let him decide how to proceed. My husband was scared I would leave him. I get scared he would eventually get exhausted and stop putting in the effort it will take on his part to keep our relationship good. Maybe read up on the subject and do what you can until he is ready to address this.



felinesaresuperior
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20 Dec 2014, 2:22 pm

Hi

I was so glad to know what I had. I look on a diagnosis as something very positive. Keep trying to get him to see someone because it helps so much to know.

Have you tried the 'are you an aspie' quizes on google? Do you know all the signs? There are so many, such a long list.

Get him on this forum too. He might not be so afraid to know once he reads more about the subject and maybe not view it so negatively. He might get a sense of belonging from joining this forum.

Best of luck


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