Welcome ... me! "What" you say? But who's "me"?!

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Hello folks,

I'm Benjamin, or Ben for short.

I was thinking about something, and came across the idea of joining an asperger's/autism related forum.
So, here I am!

Aw crap! I forget when I was diagnosed with Asperger's, but it was when I was much younger.
At the time of writing this, I am 18 ... no shame
My parents kept me from gaining knowledge of my diagnosis until last year. I do agree with them, as who knows what extra stress I would have if I knew when I was younger...

But, you're likely wondering just who this crazy person I am ... well, here goes nothing!:

From a young age, as with a lot of aspies, I have had very specific and intense interests.
I loved to see trains, construction equipment, etc... (I still like both! XD)
A little later on, I really enjoyed going in the basements and utility rooms of houses and buildings, to see all the wires and pipes XD

Now, sorry to interrupt the flow (hah!), but I'll put my interests aside for a moment, and change the topic to self-awareness/identity.
As the years progressed, I began to notice that I was much different than most people.
I often would say inappropriate things for my age, almost as if I was 6 even though my real age was 9.
For some reason - and I just couldn't understand why - I would often make people upset or mad, even though I didn't mean to. I still occasionally say/do ignorant things to this day. It's mostly things such as laughing at something I shouldn't be laughing at. I don't say some things though! As an example, I just can't recall the last time I told somebody to "go kill yourself" ... because I just don't say those types of things!

Adding to the aforementioned social difficulties, I find myself easily upset by small things. Even as much as being a "crybaby" about something. Often I don't fully understand why I get so upset over "nothing"... and neither would other kids/people.

Well, because of those incidents, I ended up becoming quite shy and non-social (not anti-social, non-social! There is a difference!).
The children at school would ask my parents if I ever talk. Of course, the answer is a huge YES. XD
I just wouldn't - and still don't - talk much with people I don't know well.
That doesn't stop me from being at least a little friendly, as I will say "hi" or "hello" and smile to strangers. I also will often hold doors for other people out in public.
If I do feel comfortable around you ... make sure you get a comfy seat, because you'll be here for a while! ... XD
yap yap yap yap ... I can talk for hours on end!

......
By the time I was in 7th grade, I was a depressed, stressed out, bullied, rejected, lonely nerd ... consequently, I had become suicidal. That really scared my parents, and I started seeing a psychologist. I take [legal] drugs for depression and anxiety now.

That very special, life-saving turning point in my life was when my psychologist mentioned a new school that was just starting up.
An "un-school" to be exact!
To cut to the chase ... it was a huge success for me!
It helped so much with my anxiety and depression.
I enjoyed the aspect of having more control of my life, and having fewer students around at any given time. Also, the students were in general, MUCH nicer than the savage beasts at my middle school.
(Yes, there were fights almost every day at my middle school. Not just a punch, but broken noses and jaws, complete with blood spilling everywhere. Some kids even brought in knives! No guns, thankfully. I remember we had a stampede once, and we even had the police and EMS come out too! .. But, yeah, they were just the meanest, most violent critters on earth! Being a guy, and going to that school ... there is a reason why I don't find it funny at all to be kicked in the crotch. Or bullied, etc.. )

(steering back on track, to my interests now..)

Going to a different school, and having a better life psychologically, meant I had more time to work on my personal interests. I now do some internships, which mostly are work-from-home.

My number one interest has to be Electrical Engineering.
Yep, I've fixed things, made things ... the whole shebang!

My other strong interests are:
1. Other types of engineering. (such as mechanical eng.)
2. Firefighting and fire engineering. (likely because my father is a firefighter)
3. Programming. I do some programming (coding, aka making programs for a computer) here and there.
4. Nature. I enjoy hiking, and I don't mind spelunking either (also known as "caving", aka exploring caves).
5. Anime. (Could ya tell? My username is an anime character.)
6. Trains, and various other machinery.
7. Photography. I take pictures of stuff on hikes/walks, when fixing/building things, or anything else that is interesting.
8. Architecture.
9. Quality of life. I enjoy taking time to think things through, to understand things better, and to help others out when I can. I enjoy being positive, and working to promote a more positive outlook on life in other people as well.
Although depression really sucks, I've just worked on accepting it the way it is. I guess I could say ... even death isn't all bad. I'm really "Yin-yang". lol
10. Beekeeping.

I do play video games, but no fighting games, it's mostly "sandbox" games. Minecraft is an example.

I'm always open if anyone wants someone to talk to. I strongly believe that everybody deserves an equal amount of respect and compassion. I take pride in being unbiased when it comes to sensitive topics, like sexual identity, having a disorder, and race. Why? Because I've had times when I wish there was someone who'd understand and/or forgive me ... those people mean a lot to me, so why shouldn't I be a role model?

I also have a habit of just letting thoughts pour out of my head, so my sentences don't always make sense, or I might dwell upon something for too long, etc.. XD

In addition to me having Asperger's, I have a 12 year old brother who has Autism. He's high-functioning.
Oh ... my ... gosh ... he talks waaay too much! XD
And he is quite annoying ... but I love him somehow! XD

I'm looking forward to mingling with this community!

Thanks for now,

-Ben
(ZenWistalia)

Hey Ben welcome.

Welcome to WP!

Welcome in WP Ben, enjoy your stay

Damn nice introduction m8. You sound like a decent guy.
Also I'm happy to see that you know to say asocial where appropriate lol.
Welcome Ben.

Thank you RoadRatt, Skilpadde, sleepingpancake and Earthling!


-Ben

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to Wrong Planet Ben!