So this explains a lot about my life.

Post Reply New Topic

Hi
My name is Kenneth, I am 28 living in NC, USA
I am still getting used to this idea of aspergers. I wish I had heard of it about 10 years ago when I started college. I got really good at being that artistic strange guy in a small town High School, and I even met some pretty cool people when I got to college. Had a couple of girlfriends. But eventually, trying to fake normal interactions and such became excruciating. It became very evident to me that I had always been an observer in this world. I was extremely focused on being objective and finding truth. I found everything to be a subjective experience and not reliable.Things just got worse from there. Eventually I learned to overcome my emotional difficulties. But still it is obvious that this feeling of social isolation has always and will always be with me. When I realized that I experienced very little anxiety about it I became very curious, because people have often suggested I may have that. So I started researching, and here I am. And I am so glad for such a website!

Hope that wasn't too long.

I havent told anyone about this. And from reading online I have seen some very disturbing, but familiar reactions to this condition. Either people just think we feel sorry for ourselves or they think we feel we are better than them.
I suppose these are two very human reactions to those who are different. People have reacted this way to me all my life.
Is there an answer?

Hi, welcome Kenneth!
I'm from Australia...
It's funny you should talk about being an observer... A couple of days ago, I think I finally decided that, that was what I must be. I like to watch, dissect, understand, but not participate. I prefer to be on the outside, and I really like studying other people - as long as they don't realise. I don't relate any of these things to myself. My own person is too subjective, and therefore not as interesting to analyse. I think what you describe is very very accurate, for me. Being the odd artist bloke that you describe, if you like reading, I strongly recommend Joyce Cary's 'Horses Mouth', and Patrick White's 'Vivisector'. To me, these books sum up the perspective of an observer beautifully. Reading other peoples stories certainly makes things click together!

wonderful

Hi spacemonkey! (interesting username! )
I can relate to a lot of what you're saying...
I too have been an observer and I tend to focus on objective facts...I too had to work a lot on overcoming emotional difficulties...and I had to deal with the sense of isolation as well...unlike you for me isolation was painful, although I do enjoy being alone and having a space of my own is very important to me...WP has helped me tremendously with feeling isolated...I hope you find the support you need from WP...
And I agree, feeling sorry for myself or feeling superior are both unhealthy ways to respond to being different...I'd like to view being different as being different...
Anyway, welcome to WP!

Wow Sep 1 2004
This must have been my very first post.
good times.

Since then I
quit my job, taught myself to paint watercolor, learned to drive a truck, travelled all over the eastern half of North America, got into music again,
and made some pretty strong advances on my "theory of everything"

Sinsboldly, I take it you dug this up for me ?
Are you saying that the answer is "wonderful?"
I might tend to agree with that.

hi space, welcome, I just knew about AS last year, before I turned 30, and I completely relate to what you said. I also felt diferent bust just found this "missing piece of the puzzle", and now everything is clear. I'm not mad or sad about it, actually I'm just more open to things outside, knowing about AS.

By the way, just visited your site, very cool that you learned watercolor all by yourself, how long have you been painting?

I can relate. I too am very much an outsider to all but a very few close friends. I often wished for invisibility when I was younger.