My Noisy Kids - heeelp!

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I am a 41 yo Aspie male, with two children. A very wise 3 yo, NT daughter and an 8 yo son who also happens to have Asperger's; he was diagnosed at 5.75yrs. More about him later.

When I get to the front door after a day at work, I often feel I need to have a Valium to cope with the auditory onslaught and emotional drain that being a father brings My NT wife tries, but doesn't understand how hard it is for me to do the things she takes for granted. I also have a mood disorder to add more confusion to the mix.

Our 8 yo yells, hits, throws stuff, when his sister interferes, gets too close, copies him, etc., etc., and the yells and screams send me into a state of panic, so I yell back and everyone gets upset. I am also known to throw various items of furniture, not usually large pieces, but it does happen. My wife said this is "domestic violence" and doesn't know what else to do. I am receiving medication for the mood swings, but the Psychiatrists don't have time to dig too deep. We've attended a psychology session together and intend to that again soon.

I thought I should tell you about a great website. www.moodgym.anu.edu.au

Any ideas for noise sensitivity and AS parents dealing kids or anger/anxiety/depression would be appreciated! It's a big list, I know... thanks!!

Welcome to WP!

Tim

Hi Rodders

Welcome to WP.

I'm a 39 yr old Aspie dad with a 9 & 10 yr old. I can relate to the concerns you have about the stresses and strains of children. The noise of kids is a real distraction, especially after a hard day. In my family we often end up with everyone getting annoyed with each other and voices getting raised.

The worst situation I find is travelling on long journeys. The combination of children yelling at each other, the radio and traffic distractions are enough to drive me insane.

Please feel free to send me a PM if you want to discuss anything further

Hi man, and wellcome.

In fact I'm a very bad father, anyway...
seems to me things are out of order, if it is the case, some order must be put home!
Nevertheless, I suppose that you feel you are out of control there, in this case, trying to put order will perhaps disrupt an even worst disaster.

I would start to change things at a weekend, staying whith them at a very nice place, in a field or beach... perhaps would be easier contacting one at a time.
I love children, and this part is very easy to me, my problems stems on putting order, but this is anoother story...

To contact your 3 year old is very easy, lay on the floor and stay with her, hug her, kiss her, stay close and pay attention on her, this very few is very much!! ! What she really wants is that you pay attention on her, and she will love a smile to!! !

The son is easy too, remember when you were his age, think in what you liked by this time, and try to be a boy again when close to him, this is great!! ! be a boy for a while and enjoy it together with your son.

The only alert is the following, once you are paying atention at one of them, the other WILL WANT THE SAME ATTENTION TO HIMSELF, this is a strong alert, this will happen, so, a plan, to start, is to stay alone with each one, only to begin, or to ask your wife to take care the other meanwhile you are trying to contact one!

Man, children are great!
Our children are even very better!! !
They are only children once, it is their best time!! !
It is really great to be with them!! !

To stay at the floor will really help a lot, even your boy will like to see you there with him.

Welcome, from a fellow aspie parent.

I know what you're talking about in terms of kids and sensory overload. The first thing is you now know why and what is going on in terms of hyperarousal. You could try earplugs that dampen the sound but still allow you to hear your kids.

Keep reading here, you'll find lots of support and suggestions from others.

Someone really needs to invent a volume control for children. Hitting the mute button would be great Hmmm. How about masking tape for the kids

We have 3 boys aged 8, 7 and 3. The middle boy is Aspie. They are soooo noisy!

I am NT but I often fill like sticking my fingers in my ears are yelling.

Could you start a little ritual with the kids for when you get home from school. Could you go to your bedroom and play some relaxation music. The kids could lie and cuddle with you for a few minutes.

Good luck!
Smelena

In fact aspie people tend to be silently since we were children.

What if you took enough food in your lunch that you could eat a sandwich and vegie just before you go home so you won't have hungry to deal with? Earplugs is a good idea. I don't know who fixes dinner, but if it's your wife, maybe you could lay back in a recliner and read an interesting book to your son for a timed thirty minutes. Then after dinner do the same with your daughter. Just make sure he or she is cuddled on your chest and you are lieing down. If it becomes a daily ritual, it will let you rest a little while giving the kids the crucial daddy time they are doing whatever they have to do to get.

Welcome!! !

Hah! I got kids too. Teenagers! Bet you can't wait for that! And do I have some stories for you!! !
Glad to see another dad here. Been talking to all the mom's lately... drop by with a PM.

Our DX was not until later on, and we're still working on it... you're lucky to know now...

Thanks for the tips and welcome notes guys. I haven't logged onto the PC for a while..! My wife hogs it; I don't actually like computers, but I am apparently an Aspie.
I need to update my WP profile - I live in Melbourne, Australia, a fair way from ya'll except Smelena.

I'm in Queensland. I went to Melbourne once but it was too cold for me.