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Hello, I'm a 16 year old female who has been diagnosed with high-functioning Asperger's. I haven't been officially diagnosed by my psychologist because apparently you can only be diagnosed with Austism Spectrum Disorder now, which we have decided wouldn't benefit me if I was diagnosed with that as I am very high functioning. I am apparently not autistic, but have traits of Asperger's, which is why the previous label wouldn't suit me, and also we thought I would get along okay without a diagnosis and to deal with my anxiety and traits only.

My Aspie traits manifest in intense anxiety, which I have suffered with from a very early age, and sensory issues. I've always been (on the surface) okay at socialising up until puberty when it all began to get a lot worse. I have a few close friends, and fortunately they understand me. However I get incredibly anxious in social situations, and I always think they don't like me as I can't read their facial expressions and always misinterpret them! It's terrible and I always worry about what people are thinking.

When you have Asperger's, at its worst it makes you feel like the whole world is an extremely scary place and you'll never figure out how to cope in it, like every aspect is a part of a huge jig-saw puzzle and you can't fit the pieces together, and when you do it suddenly falls apart again. When I'm in a social situation and I'm anxious, it highlights how I'm different and I think how my friends probably aren't feeling as out of place and strange and I feel envious because I can't be like them.

People say I'm intelligent but I'm not sure, I know I think too much. I know most Aspies can think themselves into oblivion! I do that all the time with my anxiety. I also have sensory issues to sound, I even had to be put in a separate room for my GCSE Exams (they're an extremely important qualification in England which all 15-16 year old have to take) because my anxiety as a result of the sensory issues could've affected my grade - not drastically but it was just so I could get the best grades I could. Like the squeaking of plastic chairs, clearing throats, and paper shuffling etc.

Having Asperger's is really hard, because it twists the world into such a confusing place. Do you ever feel like you have no idea what you're feeling and what's even going on inside your own head? And you're upset about something, but you can't pin down what you're feeling so you just get more frustrated and then the people around you can't understand? I also feel like I don't know who I am, and that I never truly know what people feel about me.

I wanted to post here to feel less alone after my mum told me about this website. If there are any teens around my age who are feeling similar feel free to post, I'd love to hear about your experiences with Apserger's.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Look at the forums under 'Age/Gender Related' on the front page. You'll find a couple of forums just for young people. You sound intelligent to me, by the way. All the Best.

Hey windinthewillows5 welcome.

Welcome, I do relate to feeling as if everything is an individual piece of an incomprehensible and vast, revolving jigsaw, sometimes I can't even put together a single piece for weeks when I am not functioning well, I don't have a jigsaw shape for a head thankfully but it'd possibly make things effortless and I'd become more eloquent.

Thank you for the replies, I will definitely look at the forum for younger people!

Hi, welcome! For me, I have a lot of meltdowns and anxiety in social situations, which makes me have trouble blending in socially.

I can understand that must be really hard - I know what you mean, sometimes social situations can suddenly get really hard and you just need to escape. They can be so overwhelming!!

Exactly! It's horrible because you feel like the progress you have made suddenly falls apart. I wish I were more eloquent but I hope that maybe as I grow older things will fit into place easier, although I'm aware I'll always find certain things difficult.

Welcome to WP! May I ask, what are you interested in?

I'm...well past my teenage years, windinthewillows5. All the same, I can recall a lot of relevant bits and, despite differences in gender, relate to what you are talking about.

Coming to terms with great intelligence can end up feeling...really peculiar. For me, it feels like I have a great amount of intellectual power...that I am only mildly in control of on the best of days. So you can end up feeling really brilliant in one moment when you find some eldritch connection that everyone else in the room missed...and, in the very next second, feel like a complete idiot because you missed some that was completely obvious to everyone else. Or you couldn't get yourself interested in the subject matter to begin with, so even comprehending the basic premise is difficult. For me, it was (and still is) grammar and spelling while typing/writing. I can dismantle and rebuild arguments and debates with effortless ease...but the moment I start typing it all goes to ruin pretty much instantly; I typo often, and I can't proofread worth a dang. >.<

This is all very challenging for an adult; for a teenager, it can become emotionally suffocating. You are having this entire subset of unique reactions to things your peers can't pick up on. You're being given advice by adults who don't understand your perspective, much less the actual problems your experiencing, giving you advice on how to handle something they can't even rap their head around. How do you even know what is this neurological demon and what is actually just being a teenager whose entire body chemistry is trying to rewrite itself on what feels like a daily basis?

So...for what it's worth? it sounds like what you're grappling with is somewhat common. That doesn't make it easier. However, take comfort in knowing that your intelligence *is* real. And in time, you can use it to pick up patterns and trends. You can start narrowing down what works you up, as well as what helps calm you down. It takes time, and there isn't always an obvious through line that connects everything nice and nearly. When you do, however, you'll be able to process it and work with it...and you'll get a little better at handling yourself in the process.

So yeah, you're in good company.

Hi windinthewillows5, welcome too in the page.

Bad news: the anxiety doesn't go away; good news: with time you learn to navigate broader contexts without being disabled by it. And establish broader contexts within which you can employ your exceptional skills, and that can make all the difference.

You seem to possess an admirable clarity of yourself, I hope you continue on this road and receive support and friendship from wrongplanet