My troubled six year old

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I was putting my daughter to bed tonight and we were having dificulty with brushing her long hair (as we usualy do). I asked her if she was sad and she told me that she wished that she didnt exist. I try to be calm about disturbing statements (its a learned skill) but this one required some elaboration. I asked "what about your grandmothers you have lots of fun playing with them or how about when we play the hua game or the catch and throw game, those things are fun right?" She answered "if I didnt exist then you wouldnt be a dad and they wouldnt be grandmothers, so you wouldnt miss those things" And that was the end of the conversation on that subject. She knows we (me and my wife) love her because we show her and tell her all the time. She tells us "you have to love me, your my parents" My heart breaks when I know how she feels when she is at school. (Shes been suspended around 6 times and is in her 2nd school (first suspension last week). Did I mention she was 6 and in Kidergarten? She is pretty and physicaly strong which makes others want to be her friend I am grateful that she at least has some advantage but, a) adults dont get that she has problems because she looks quite "Normal" b) other kids only like her until they get tired of her anti social behaviour. Im sure ther is a c)through z) but Ill leave it there.
Im happy to be a member here, there are alot of insightful and funny comments. I hope to learn more so I can learn to conect with my daughter on her level and in her way. "

First off, welcome!

Secondly, try telling her that you love her because she's her (in a conversation it'd be "I love you because you're you"). Say that while you do feel that you could do without the troubles she has, you still love her as a person. Also add that many parents don't love their kids because they hate them for just being them, and how lucky she is that you and your wife aren't one of those people.

Thrildy, I'm 16, so results may vary. Batteries Sold Separately. Adult assembly required.

I don't know that there is an answer unless you can change the world. I think its fairly common for most Aspies to feel the way your daughter feels. I've heard so many express the same sentiments. I've wished I was never born since I was 3 years old. Like sucks being autistic because you can never fit in, never be normal and people regard you as bad, weird, worthless, stupid, you name it. This is what life is to be autistic.

Since she is getting kicked out of school I can only hope you are getting her counseling.

Hi Chris72. Welcome to the place where you can get support and information.

My daughter has been having to deal with these negative fellings with 2 of her boys from an early age. She is getting support from an aspie and autism clinic, has written an Individual Education Plan with the school, etc.

You will meet parents in the Parent's Forum. Some are NT, some are Aspie. One of the things they struggle with is low self esteem in their children.

Good luck.

Hi,

I am sorry that you and your daughter are experiencing these problems.

I think the best thing to do about the situation at school is to educate her teachers as to the problems that your daughter has. You could give them information from the internet and recommend books and have regular meetings with her teachers to discuss any problems and to explode any myths or misconceptions that might be in their minds.

Is it worth getting some kind of assessement from the local education services in order to establish the kind of educational support that your daughter needs? (Although I am aware that you may already have done this).

Good luck.