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I didn't wanna post this but I have a logical question now

After finding/reading this forum I now think I'm a "special case" and/or "another mental patient". How do people cope with this inkling if you have this on your mind? Please dont hurt me....

Also I am a quite capable GP2X game system programmer and computer goer/geek, so apart from the social aspect of life I consider myself better than normal.

But i can't help but feel ret*d at the same time... because of all the anxiety and stuttering and panic and OCD and staring and not enjoying myself at any time thats social.

At the moment I'm only 23... what do people learn by the time their 60 and still have AS? I wanna shorten this...

Hi,

Welcome to WP.

I don't think your experience is as uncommon as you think. I too have AS and some associated mental health issues (depression, generalised anxiety disorder, OCD).

I am an intelligent person with a Masters Degree and a good job - but there are also things that I find immensely difficult that seem almost disproportionate to my abilities.

For example, I struggle with even very minor changes to routine, I always need to rest after social interactions as I find them so difficult and draining - like completing a series of really difficult exams. And like you, I also can sometimes be debilitated in certain situations by my mental health issues.

And take savants for example - they are incredibly gifted in certain specific areas, but may also be further from the high end of the spectrum to the extent that they have very little communication ability and also have types of learning difficulty and will never be able to live completely independently.

I think these contradictions are just part of the nature of ASD's.

This is probably part of the reason why so many people go undiagnosed until adulthood - they are considered to be very able in some ways, so people hope that the ways in which they are less able are things that they will 'grow out of' or conquer if they just 'try harder'.

So your saying I should hide the ret*d in me or bring it out as character (in social situations).. I gotta do one or the other at this point in my life.

Thanks for the reply

Ps. I dont mean to sound blunt.

Neither really - just be yourself. I accept that some things I'm good at and others I'm bad at, and sometimes I'm going to have meltdown in public and people will look at me like I am a combination of stupid and insane (to which I generally reply 'I'm autistic. Don't worry you can't catch it.)

I am comfortable with who I am - and it took me YEARS to get here. Sometimes I do well, somtimes I screw up and sometimes I freak out completely. Either way I'm comfortable with it - this is the way nature made me and it is up to society to just accept me and not have a bad attitude towards the disabled and / or 'different'.

I'm certainly not saying you should make a choice. I used to think I could, but I realised I can't. It's part of me and that's never going to change, so I learned to accept it and to be defiant if people treat me badly or bully or discriminate against me for it.

Thanks again... I get what you mean now..... I just need to accept who I am

* ticks the 'bring it out as character' box

kinda makes me feel more relaxed now

Welcome to WP!

Tim

Hi!

Welcome!

I think you'll fit in with us very well here!

One thing you can do is go to the Aspie Dino cafe in the adults in depth discussion thread. Better still I will post there soon. There are a lot of older aspies there who have survived.

Just wait here. Be back here soon.

...after lightning trip to cafe...

I've posted there. Allowing for different time zones, you should get some visitors soon.

Hi,
I liked your post, you will for sure learn a lot here!! !

perhaps to be an aspie means to try to be yourself.
Seems sometimes that NTs only task is to preclude us of being ourselves...

I think when we are really ourselves most of the anxiety at social meetings simply disapears

well, we have a lot of time before 60...

Welcome!! !!

Thanks nannarob

The goal was just working out hwo to relax knowingly with that much anxiety and to be able to smile at the same time.. which I figure is what the oldies know how to do.. but its ok..I'm gettin there.

"I think when we are really ourselves most of the anxiety at social meetings simply disapears " exactly right neuromancer

I'm NT and I hate all this smiling and nodding and being in the in crowd. Many of my photos show a sour looking woman. although I'm not sour on the inside. I also get exhausted, especially when I used to go to all-day seminars. I can hardly imagine how an aspie copes with school, college and work.

You'll get a lot of tips here. I have become alive since I came here, and this planet isn't set up for me.

All the best to you, and don't be afraid to post.

Robyn

I'll try not to hurt you.

Well, SG, my dino-advice is the same I've been dispensing like so much reality-smacking fairy dust all over these fora -

You are you. If you try to be anyone else, you won't fool anyone, and you'll make yourself miserable. If, on the other hand, you adopt "Illegitimi Non Carborundum" as your personal motto, and joke 'em if they can't take a frak, you'll probably find the anxiety dwindling - after all, what is there to be anxious about if you genuinely don't care what people think?

Took me almost forty years, and a ten-year marriage down the tubes, to figure that one out, and that was before I even found out I was Aspie!

Now I've got a beautiful wife, who loves me for who I am, not for who she thinks I am or what she thinks I can do; two wonderful children, one autistic and one (as far as we can tell) NT (he's only 18 months, so it may be too soon for a definitive diagnosis of NT Syndrome); and a great best friend and cohusband, who's currently in Iraq with firm instructions to keep his bloody head down. And none of this would have ever come to me if I'd tried to pretend to be "like everybody else"; I'm not, and they can all tell on first meeting me.

Keep in mind that when many of us dinos (I'm 43) were growing up, AS was virtually unknown in the psych community and wasn't accepted officially as a condition until the 90's.

Many of us, including myself, who were fortunate enough to have high intelligence and a good support system, developed coping skills on our own - such as replacing the "natural" ability to read body language and non-verbal cues with conscious thought processes and study of books on the subject - which masked the symptoms. we still knew that we were "different" though, so when more research started coming out relating to AS many of us stood up and said "THAT'S ME!! !". It definitely would have been nice to better understand AS at an earlier age, though.

Hello.

SG:

It does take time to become at ease with all that you are
or are becoming in the arena of AS and ASD. I've found
that good friends and good colleagues help, so here's to
the success of your search for them on Wrong Planet.