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Hey
I've known of this website for a long time, and read some, but I've never really felt compelled to post till now.
I never got diagnosed till 16 and missed the window for when I can effectively learn social skills; instead I've just grown more effective and camouflaging myself.
On the surface (this is I may break off into a mini rant) everything looks great. I'm preparing for a Ph.D as I'm in my third year, and schools like MIT are considered viable stretch. However, I feel like I'm in the biggest social rut of my life. While I have the respect of my colleagues in the department, I never get invited for anything. Out for lunch after field module? Getting a beer? I know this is all so petty but it's annoying me. It seems people just hit me up for help with academics. I live alone in a perpetual bubble where if I tell people I have hfa, I get told I'm so normal. My family while supportive leans toward get over it message. I was told by the schools geotech who has a son on the spectrum that my condition was obvious to him, but to my classmates who aren't familiar with the spectrum might think I'm the 'awkward geology genius' (his thought on what my department perception was). Nobody treats me with disrespect but I feel perpetually left out.
Anyway, sorry for the rant, I just needed to get this off my chest.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome vermillion94!

Hopefully you will find your experience here conducive to your social enrichment, here's to it!

Hi Vermillion,

Welcome to WP!

Well, the good news is that it's never too late to learn social skills. It might be harder to internalize them, but we're all learning and developing muscle memory every day

That said, it's really hard when you don't get the opportunity to practice.

Honestly, I've always found it best to focus on just chumming up with a single person rather than trying to infiltrate the group, per se. While you might be the only person on the spectrum, odds are that there's another odd duck out in the cohort. Maybe it's the person who always feels dumb compared to everyone else or maybe it's the foreign student, but there's always at least one other person who just wants someone else to talk to them like they matter too. Occasionally they even turn out to be awesome people who become outside-of-school friends too.

In any case, congratulations on your academic success! MIT or no, going on to get your PhD is a huge accomplishment for someone on the spectrum. Even if others don't see your struggles or see how hard things really are, you know what you've overcome to achieve what you've accomplished. Don't let anyone ruin your party