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Hello Everyone,

Me name is Tom. I live in the suburbs west of NYC.
I am the parent of three. I have a 15 year old NT son, and a pair of 11 year old twin girls.
The older twin is NT, but the younger, after a tremendous amount of time looking for the answer, has been diagnosed with AS and ADD.
Obviously the AS child takes a lot of time from the other two. I'm sure this is difficult for any parent with NT children along with an Aspie,
but the twin thing makes it really hard as the NT twin doesn't get why her sister gets "away with so much". I am looking for treatment for my daughter. She is smart, but not utilizing her abilities. I know it is part of being Aspie, but we are just getting started in our effort to aid her in her journey through life. Any recommendations regarding social training, and helping Aspies will be appreciated.

I am new to the site, today, and haven't had an opportunity to delve into it's knowledge base.

Thanks in advance for any help and suggestions.

Welcome to WP!

Tim

Hello! Welcome to WP!

I have a problem with using my skills, too. In my case it's a problem of 'getting off my ass and actually starting'. After that, I'm sweet.

Welcome to WP!

A good place to start is in the Parent's forum.

There are heaps of parents there who have AS themselves and are full of great advice.

Hi welcome!

Thank you all for the warm welcomes

Welcome, and out of curiosity, are the twins identical? If so that would be odd to have one NT and the other AS!

Very common thing to be heard if you have AS....."not living up to your potential"...."how can someone so smart be so....dumb".

The reality is that our brains are wired differently.The current theory seems to be that the two halves of the brain are not communicating to each other.So we can be very "intelligent" about certain things(especially involved on our interests)and yet not be able to apply the same memory or attention to other areas.Evidently there are some problems with "generilizing information.....I can learn how to do a task but then have to relearn how do do another task(that may seem similiar in skill).

Your daughter may have ADD but there are many AS traits that I think give a false positive.One is executive dysfunction(ability to organize that involves multi-tasking and projecting into the future.),Central Auditory Processing Disorder...makes it difficult to "pay attention" to someone when you cant filter out external noises(TV,kids in classroom,others talking in a room),in this situation....the individual may only hear 1 out of every 3 words spoken....makes it confussing to understand instructions and some kids "tune out",because it is so frustrating and annoying."Special interests" can be very invassive in AS thoughts and make it difficult to concentrate on "non-interests".

The reason I mention this is some kids treated with ADD meds,have a bad reaction because they never had ADD(and AS people tend to respond poorly with the same dose....more sensitive to chemicals......Another problem with focusing with AS is any "sensory sensitivities....if your cloths are annoying you(hurt your skin),environment is to loud or to bright.....it is very hard to concintrate(several books on hyper sensitive children).Imagine your self in a room with screaming babies,some one running a fork down a chalk board,a spot light shinning in your eyes and your wearing a girdle made of cactus while misquetoes are biting you.....now imagine trying to solve a maths problem while this is going on....(and you hate math).


I wish you well with your daughter....information is power...keep doing research.

They are very different. One is dark, atheletic and straight haired (NT). The second is fair, curly-haired and artistic.

She is very drug sensitive. We are trying to find the right path for her. Right now she is on 8.33 mg of zoloft per day. It stabilizes her, somewhat, and we have noticed some improvement in her focus. I'm not crazy about the zoloft, but it has helped with transitions, and ever so slightly in school. School is the biggest problem, as she is in an NT class with teachers who think she is defying them. I now know that it isn't defiance, but a difficulty processing her surroundings.

Thanks again for the input.

Tom

hello my name is Dave and I am high functioning autistic from NJ. I decided to come to this website and offer advice and tell of my experiences to worried parents because I consider myself to be sucessful in life, have friends, good family and a good lifestyle. I had a hard childhood obviously, but now I am self suficent with a good job, collage degree, a nice small house and during my free time I enjoy all outdoor activities, I climb mountains, camp, fish, hunt. When my time is not free, im working and I drive forklifts in a warehouse where i am the boss of a crew of 4 people where we load trucks.

I am happy to offer help to worried parents of autistic children. My parents did a good job, as did my teachers and now i have a good time with friends, neghboords and family. My friends, neghboors and co-workers have no idea i am autistic, i function normaly and have had many normal experiences such as going to bars and parties, being in trouble with the law (unfortunatly) as well as having expereinces of autistic children.

I was sucessful for a number of reasons, and your child can be independent also dont give up!

I wasn't DXed until I was 42(this year)and I dont have any kids ,but I remember being one....it wasn't fun and even at 8 I recall thinking......"I will never forget how hard it is to be powerless as a child and glamorise child hood as some 'golden years',cause this sucks."It was hard being in trouble all the time and not understanding why.....I was trying really hard to be "good".I'm sure your daughter is as well.One problem for some with AS(especially as children)is that we dont believe that someone is "right" just because they have a certain "title,job,age,gender".I was always questioning the logic behind "rules".It wasnt that I disliked rules,I liked stability.I just wanted to understand "why" and if the answer wasnt "logical" to me,it needed further explaination.I guess it is no suprise that I enevuality gravitated to the Punks and their "Question Authority" mantra.(They didnt much like it when I questioned their authority,though).

Because your daughter has a DX the school is required to make certain "accomidations".One should be that her teachers educate themselves about the DX and how it applies to your daughters particular needs....more time to take tests,a quiter place to study,clearly written instructions(we aren't good with "vague").I was an A -B student but I think classes may be harder?I was also very creative and did much better with hands on learning and individual projects.Instead of writing a paper,she might do better by creating a 3D project?

I am optomistic about the young aspies who have parents understanding and support,I think they can really achieve a lot,so never give up.

Dave,

It's great to hear about successful Aspies.
Congratulations!

Tom

Welcome!