I'm new (and don't know if I have Asperger's)

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RebeccaRose
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15 May 2017, 4:43 am

Hello, everyone.

I'm new to the forum and also new to Asperger's. I don't know if I have it or not, and still know very little about it. My mother attempted to diagnose me with it (she's not an expert) when she noticed I was acting moody and making lists. For example, I make lists about makeup/hairstyles I want to try, books I want to read, etc. She believes I do this obsessively. I'm 22 and haven't made an appointment with a doctor due to the virus affecting the NHS.

I suffer from major depression and anxiety and I do find it difficult to make new friends. I have always put this down to being shy and reserved. I don't struggle to read facial expressions, discern tone of voice/jokes, and I do seek comfort from others. My mother's concern stems from my not always knowing what to say when people talk to me (particularly when it's not a specific greeting/question) and because I make notes/lists (which she believes is a repetitive behaviour and also a sign that I have OCD as well). I also channel my interests into studying.

What I've read about Asperger's online unsettles me: I've come across articles telling people to 'grieve' for what they could've been and that they will never attain a normal lifestyle. I find this horrible to come to terms with and I hope it isn't true. I haven't looked across the whole forum yet, but I'm hoping to find some more reassuring posts and experiences from others.

I know this isn't a forum where others can 'diagnose' me, and I'm not certainly not trying to diagnose myself, but I really hope I can receive some insight. My mother believes my condition could be 'mild' but, of course, I can't be sure of anything until I see a professional. The whole concept of Asperger's is very alien to me and I've led the last twenty-odd years of my life believing I'm just quiet.



AnonymousAnonymous
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15 May 2017, 2:49 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! :)


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shadowtag
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15 May 2017, 2:52 pm

Welcome. Even if you are on the autism spectrum, that doesn't mean you are guaranteed to have an awful quality of life, which, for that matter, can mean different things to different people, as well as what a "normal life" means.

In any event, try not to let the experiences of others dictate your expectations, I can attest myself it is an easy thing to do.


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puzzledoll
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15 May 2017, 10:19 pm

Hi! I have been married for 17 years and have two kids and a college degree. I also have Aspergers. It's certainly not a death knell if you are on the autism spectrum. Make the best out of your strengths and do the best you can that's all anyone can do.



Richardf269
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17 May 2017, 9:20 pm

RebeccaRose wrote:
Hello, everyone.

I'm new to the forum and also new to Asperger's. I don't know if I have it or not, and still know very little about it. My mother attempted to diagnose me with it (she's not an expert) when she noticed I was acting moody and making lists. For example, I make lists about makeup/hairstyles I want to try, books I want to read, etc. She believes I do this obsessively. I'm 22 and haven't made an appointment with a doctor due to the virus affecting the NHS.

I suffer from major depression and anxiety and I do find it difficult to make new friends. I have always put this down to being shy and reserved. I don't struggle to read facial expressions, discern tone of voice/jokes, and I do seek comfort from others. My mother's concern stems from my not always knowing what to say when people talk to me (particularly when it's not a specific greeting/question) and because I make notes/lists (which she believes is a repetitive behaviour and also a sign that I have OCD as well). I also channel my interests into studying.

What I've read about Asperger's online unsettles me: I've come across articles telling people to 'grieve' for what they could've been and that they will never attain a normal lifestyle. I find this horrible to come to terms with and I hope it isn't true. I haven't looked across the whole forum yet, but I'm hoping to find some more reassuring posts and experiences from others.

I know this isn't a forum where others can 'diagnose' me, and I'm not certainly not trying to diagnose myself, but I really hope I can receive some insight. My mother believes my condition could be 'mild' but, of course, I can't be sure of anything until I see a professional. The whole concept of Asperger's is very alien to me and I've led the last twenty-odd years of my life believing I'm just quiet.


If there is one thing I've learned in all of my 34 years, is just to learn to accept yourself for who you are. No one else is going to tell you how to live. You yourself have to make those choices. Everyone has to.

As for being quiet, it's not a bad thing. I'm quiet a lot of the time as well, unless I'm having a good conversation. You just have to force yourself to go make some friends.



FreakyZettairyouiki
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29 May 2017, 4:19 pm

I'm 20F and in the same situation as you are. I've found that the worst armchair therapists aren't those here but those closest to you, like my own mom, ironically. Everyone's pretty chill here. I'd love to be friends if you wanna chat sometime. PM me anytime.


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18 Jun 2017, 12:56 pm

RebeccaRose wrote:
What I've read about Asperger's online unsettles me: I've come across articles telling people to 'grieve' for what they could've been and that they will never attain a normal lifestyle. I find this horrible to come to terms with and I hope it isn't true.


Good lord, why would you ever grieve for having missed normality? Those people are idiots. :?

Oh, happy idiots, for the most part, to be sure - but would you rather be self-aware and suffer for the privilege; or blissfully stupid and only pretend to care about anything, dancing through life wearing a mechanical mask, making fraudulent expressions of compassion and empathy?

And if, in fact, you ARE autistic, you're already living without a "normal lifestyle" and you never even knew, so how can you pine for what you never were?

"Not Normal" doesn't mean "No Life At All," it just means "A Different Life Than the Typical." And it's not the different life that's the real problem, it's the Neurotypical "normies" who bully, oppress, look down on and generally treats us as freaks who are the bane of our existence. Once we take over and slaughter them all in their sleep, everything will be just fine. Much quieter, of course, since we'll rarely speak to each other, but it's so much less stressful that way, don't you agree? :mrgreen:


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