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FlubLubber
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19 Sep 2017, 6:27 pm

Follows is the obligatory explanation that I have been a lurker for years, but plucked up the courage to join and post today.

I have been having a difficult two weeks, feeling out-of-touch with the other humans, obsessing over minor comments from people in my life because I do not read people very well. (Was that a subtle suggestion to go away? Or was it obvious? Did I just imagine it?)

It is exhausting.

I am feeling so depressed that I am losing interest in doing anything. And now I am fixating on ways to end my life, which doesn't do much good for me or my husband or children. I recently started Prozac again and am hoping that it kicks in soon.

Depression is not uncommon for people with ASD and my isolation is getting worse -- so I am making the first step by stepping out of my shell and saying hello.



TheAP
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19 Sep 2017, 6:38 pm

Welcome to WP! *hugs* Hope things improve for you.



AspieSingleDad
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19 Sep 2017, 6:53 pm

FlubLubber wrote:
Follows is the obligatory explanation that I have been a lurker for years, but plucked up the courage to join and post today.

I have been having a difficult two weeks, feeling out-of-touch with the other humans, obsessing over minor comments from people in my life because I do not read people very well. (Was that a subtle suggestion to go away? Or was it obvious? Did I just imagine it?)

It is exhausting.

I am feeling so depressed that I am losing interest in doing anything. And now I am fixating on ways to end my life, which doesn't do much good for me or my husband or children. I recently started Prozac again and am hoping that it kicks in soon.

Depression is not uncommon for people with ASD and my isolation is getting worse -- so I am making the first step by stepping out of my shell and saying hello.


I'm sorry you're going through so much! I'm glad you decided to post today! Reading posts can be helpful, but joining the community and seeking help/advice is even better!

I can understand the difficulty you've been having over the past couple of weeks. Because us autistics are unable to interact socially, it actually puts us in a constant state of stress and anxiety. Your brain isn't designed for that. It's kind of like a person who endures chronic pain. Just like the person with chronic pain, us autistics will get tired and worn down and essentially become depressed.

I'm glad you're starting an antidepressant. It won't solve all your problems, but it will help you cope with them and assist you with getting out of your depressive state. Keep in mind it can take about 2 weeks to feel the effects, and up to 6 weeks to feel the full effects. Also keep in mind that after 6 weeks, your doctor/psychiatrist might need to up the dosage (which means another 6 weeks). Not saying that to discourage you so much as let you know that things will get better for you (and your brain) if you allow time for that to take place.

Depression is not uncommon with ASD people, and over two-thirds of ASD people contemplate suicide. I hope you don't consider that a serious option, especially considering you are currently pursuing an alternative option (antidepressants) which will help you along towards recovery. Also keep in mind that, due to the antidepressant, your stress level will likely go down.

Are you on any sort of exercise program? A basic aerobic exercise program (say 20 to 30 minutes per day) can take away a lot of stress. Also, exercise in conjunction with an antidepressant can literally give you a positive outlook on life. For some reason, antidepressants and exercise really work well together.

Sounds like you have a lot to live for! Anyway we can help, please let us know. Okay?



FlubLubber
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19 Sep 2017, 7:26 pm

Gosh, you are all so nice. Thank you for the quick responses and most of all, the empathy.

I have taken Prozac before, for many years, and I am aware that I may need a higher dosage. I have four months' worth of pills piling up because I procrastinated when starting them. So yeah, that is good advice, take the pills, see my doctor in a couple of months.

It has taken me a long time to realize I need support that comes from communicating with people like me. I do a bit of nonprofit work with others who have the same interest, but I am often at a disadvantage socially even with them, even though I am a supposed "organizer." I don't relate to other parents either and reading posts from other Aspie parents on WP is really good therapy right now. I often feel out-of-place with all the demands to socialize and be "just right" with other parents. I don't wear yoga pants in public, nor do I carry a $3,000 purse. I don't understand the desire for chitchat or social hierarchy.

Thanks for listening.

Being depressed, yeah...I don't get much physical activity but I think I should start yoga again or do a little bit of hiking now that the weather is cooler.

I hope I feel better soon, too. Many of the stories and personal accounts people have shared on this site could've been written by me. It is humanizing to get that kind of validation of a shared experience.



AnonymousAnonymous
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20 Sep 2017, 5:01 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! :)


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Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


AspieSingleDad
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22 Sep 2017, 1:22 pm

FlubLubber wrote:
Gosh, you are all so nice. Thank you for the quick responses and most of all, the empathy.

I have taken Prozac before, for many years, and I am aware that I may need a higher dosage. I have four months' worth of pills piling up because I procrastinated when starting them. So yeah, that is good advice, take the pills, see my doctor in a couple of months.

It has taken me a long time to realize I need support that comes from communicating with people like me. I do a bit of nonprofit work with others who have the same interest, but I am often at a disadvantage socially even with them, even though I am a supposed "organizer." I don't relate to other parents either and reading posts from other Aspie parents on WP is really good therapy right now. I often feel out-of-place with all the demands to socialize and be "just right" with other parents. I don't wear yoga pants in public, nor do I carry a $3,000 purse. I don't understand the desire for chitchat or social hierarchy.

Thanks for listening.

Being depressed, yeah...I don't get much physical activity but I think I should start yoga again or do a little bit of hiking now that the weather is cooler.

I hope I feel better soon, too. Many of the stories and personal accounts people have shared on this site could've been written by me. It is humanizing to get that kind of validation of a shared experience.


Well, it sounds like you're hanging on there and you have the right attitude! Anything you need or any questions you have, please feel free to ask or shout it! :mrgreen:



fluffysaurus
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04 Oct 2017, 8:53 am

EXHAUSTING is definatly the right word, trying to work out what people mean and they're convinced that deep down you know really.
AspieSingleDad comment very helpful for me too only I haven't worked out how to do the quote thing, sorry.