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Hello, I'm Goldenhawk and I'm new to this forum.

I'm a female in my mid 30's from the UK and unofficially diagnosed as having Aspergers. I've been to my GP who is 100% certain I am an Aspie. However, as there are no adult pathways in my area for diagnosis, she can't refer me on to get and official diagnosis. She's also not convinced it would make any difference in my life at this point as I'm functional. (I also can't afford a private diagnosis.) My mother is also on the ASD spectrum, a bit worse than me, so at least I know where I get it from!

My main special interests are medieval and medical history, medicine, board games (including chess) and animals (particularly cats & horses).

I just thought I would introduce myself here and say hello. It's nice to know there are other people with the same sort of quirks and interests that I have.

Playing board games? I had no idea games can be bored; I'd in fact think that they'd be less bored when they're played frequently!

Puns and humour aside...

Welcome!

I don't share your interests unfortunately but I'm sure there are many others who you might find a bit more relatable.

Medieval medical history, I prefer the battles myself but there's probably more blood in the doctoring, or was that all astrology back then, with all the good stuff left to the barbers. Are you a fan of Susanna Gregory's Mathew Bartholomew?

Or did you mean Medieval and medical as two different interests, and I've run off with it in the wrong direction

Not everyone feels the need for a diagnosis but I'm not sure the doctor is the right person to make that decision. Are you functioning on the inside, anxiety, depression, obsessive behaviour, are you able to keep up friendships, does interacting with other people keep you constantly exhausted. I'm not saying you should be assessed but that the decision is yours, you may just have to ask for it more than once and then wait (10months for me)

You know where yours comes from, that made me laugh, when I read my assessment to my Mum she kept stopping me to say 'that's like your Dad' (he's not on the spectrum)

Lol, in that case my games are definitely not board; they get played too frequently for that! You may not share my interests but it's still nice to meet you. Thank you for the welcome!



You got it right, and I am a fan of Susanna Gregory's Matthew Bartholomew chronicles! I also really like Ariana Franklins' (pen name of Diana Norman) work on the Mistress of the Art of Death series, it's just a shame the author died. Mel Star's series following the surgeon Hugh De Singleton is my newest discovery. I'm hoping to get more of the series for Christmas.

My master's thesis was actually on casualty rates in medieval warfare and looking at how the culture of war and chivalry affected warfare and behaviour on the battlefield. For the non-nobility, warfare was, unsurprisingly, bloody and violent. For the nobility, it was dangerous, but there is a general sense of surprise and therefore admonishment in the contemporary accounts when it comes to nobles actually dying in battle. It just wasn't something that people were supposed to do - nobles and knights were to be captured for ransom, not killed. However, as the middle ages progressed and the culture of chivalry changed, you start finding records of more knights and nobles dying on the battlefield, particularly as weapons evolved and became more deadly. I worked a bit with a maxillofacial surgeon in Wales when I was doing my thesis and it was really surprising what injuries people where able to survive in the time period. There are some fantastic archaeological remains from the Battle of Towton, one famous skull in particular, who had a sword slash to the face, which left the front of his skull shattered, including his jaw. He survived the injury though, only to be killed by an axe blow to the back of his head at the Battle of Towton.

Physicians of the period did prescribed to the idea of the balance of the humours and illness resulting from the imbalance - hence blood letting and purges being the treatment for most things. Medieval europe was stagnate when it came to medical advancement in the middle ages until the early modern period (around the 16th century) when influences from Islamic and Greek medicine started a new interest in medical discovery. However, the ideas and principles of practice of the time are still interesting to read about. Medieval Islamic surgical texts of the time period are absolutely fascinating! Some of the instruments they developed then are still used in practice today.

What do you like about the battles? My husband's special interests are the reign of King Stephen and seige warfare and tactics so I still know a fair amount about general warfare from listening to him.



I'm coping, sort of - I'm noticing things at work are starting to become a bit more difficult as I'm being given more responsibility and as a result am have to interact with a lot of different, new, people on a daily basis. It usually leaves me completely wiped out and non-verbal by the end of the day. I end up having to spend the weekend hiding from the world and not speaking to recover enough to appear 'normal' by Monday. I've started taking some steps to use email more, which has helped. My boss also has this incredibly annoying habit of going "I'd like to arrange a meeting with you to you next week on Tuesday (or some other day)." And then not telling me what it's about. So I end up spending the days between then and the meeting in a state of constant anxiety as I have no idea what he wants. Logically, I know I'm not in trouble, and it's probably that he wants to meet about a client. But logic doesn't work to override the anxiety and stress.
I know the 'normal' façade is cracking more at work and I'm starting to think having a diagnosis would be helpful so I could at least disclose it to my bosses and have a reason why I'm asking for some changes to be made - other than being the odd eccentric person. I think a few people at work already suspect. I had a rather disastrous team building drinks session a month or so back after work where I had a shut down. So I'm certain they suspect something but no one's approached me about it yet.

I think I should pester the GP again and see if I can get a referral. Technically it's against NICE guidelines to not have an adult pathway referral process in the UK. I suppose worst case I save up more money and try and get a private diagnosis, although I would really prefer not to do that.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

An adult diagnosis can be useful for explaining why you are different. If it is bad enough you may qualify for disability benefits. You would want a Specialist who understands adults and females. There are some doctors who think it only affects kids and males.

And that seems to be it for the benefits.

If you have anxiety issues you can get meds based on the anxiety diagnosis.

Helping people diagnosed on the spectrum is still a work in progress. I suppose it might qualify you for some innovative new therapies, but these days nobody wants to fund stuff like that.

Thanks BTDT! I'm going to schedule another appointment with my GP tomorrow and see what comes of it - regardless of what happens with the potential diagnosis or not, I need to see them about the anxiety again. I'm hesitant about labelling myself with ASD and not seeking an official diagnosis. But, as you point out, apart from getting the piece of paper, there isn't much advantage. I'll ask again and see what happens.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I think the diagnosis can be helpful if you are not sure yourself, and also it will help to make things clear for your work colleagues, if you choose to tell them. I think being open about it depends on your job, it sounds as if it could help where you are but do think it through first because you can't take it back once it's out there.

If the doctor's no help try CLASS Clinic it's the Cambridge Lifespan Autism Syndrome Service they do adult autism and they are NHS they have a website you can download their leaflet from.

Richard III is my favorite monarch but I like all the Plantagenets, I love the battles on the battlefields, but also the constant battle over the balance of power, that need all the monarchs had to have enough support from the barons to hold their crowns. I get to visit Lincoln quite often (Stephen and Gloucester) the cathedral and the castle are really close to each other.

I think it's the simplicity and practicality of the feudal system that I like, their rules were so clear to them and they saw them as right, and yet they're so different to how we view things now, but at the same time their views and beliefs are the foundations upon which this society is built.

How about Anne Perry's William Monk series (detection and nursing) or is that too late (Victorian) for you? she's written one set in Constantinople in 1273 but I haven't read it so I don't know if there's a medical side. I haven't read the other authors you mentioned but I will keep an eye out for them. It's impossible to have too many good books.

I like most history particularly English and early twenty century Europe. I like to work out why people do things, particularly in that people mostly just make difficult choices.
when people talk about the past and say stuff like 'how can they have thought like that' I always want to answer them. I used to do this, but kept getting told off for defending apparently horrible people. I know now they don't mean it as a question, they just want to show that they don't think the same way.

Thank you for the suggestions! I've got an appointment with the GP for 4th January to have the conversation about a referral and I've even found the correct pathway the GP is supposed to take for the referral (including contact name and address/email) so the only thing they need to really do is write it and send it. I've got a friend who is a GP in another area and is also convinced I have Aspergers, so he's given me an idea of what I need to present to help the referral go through. In theory I should get an initial appointment within 3 months or so. We'll see what happens.

I just found out today that my responsibilities at work are going to be increasing - they are increasing the size of my territory. So I think I do need to be open about it at least to my boss and HR. I've actually discovered that one of my senior colleagues has Aspergers (he's very open about it) and he's offered to act as a mentor for me at work and has started to give me some tips on how I can keep on top of things which has helped immensely. So, I think my employers should be ok about it. He's mentioned that the rest of the team has suspected I have autism from day one and has encouraged me to get an official diagnosis so the company can make adjustments for me. Having been out of non-academic work for a long time I asked some inappropriate questions on the first day... so yeah - feeling really stupid about doing that, but genuinely didn't realise they weren't appropriate subjects to discuss. Apparently, I also have a few really obvious, likely stimming, behaviours that come out when I'm nervous; and I'm not always conscious of doing them. The most obvious being taking the ends of my long hair and running it back and forth over my lips and around my mouth. There is something about the texture and feeling that is soothing and I don't always catch myself doing it in time to stop. So, I thought I was doing fairly well at blending in on the first day... apparently not.

Richard III is very cool, I have a friend who works with the archaeology department at Leicester and got to help with the excavation and study his skeleton prior to interning him. He most definitely had really bad scoliosis. I've not been to Lincoln cathedral and castle yet, but I really should go at some point. I think next time I'm in the area I'll make a point to stop. I think my favourite cathedral is definitely Durham, but I'm likely biased as I lived there for several years! Castle wise I like Kennelworth - but that may have had something to do with having seen jousting there. I love jousting. If I ever magically develop the coordination needed for it, I'd definitely do it as a hobby.

The feudal system is great, my husband an I were having a discussion just today actually on the feudal system. It's generally accepted that the feudal system came to England from Normandy, but given contemporary evidence, it's likely a system similar to the feudal system was already in use in England prior to the Norman conquest. This English feudal system (for lack of a better term) is where the idea of the 40 day service in return for land tenure came from as nothing like that existed in the Norman system prior to contact with the English. - It's just a fascinating subject.

It is very interesting to look at how people make choices in history. My husband and I do exactly what you do as well and we both really want to answer people when they ask rhetorical questions like that. I too have learned to keep quiet when non-friends say things like that - they rarely appreciate a lecture on the time period and historical perspective.

I've not heard of Anne Perry's books before, but I'm certainly up for reading them! My preference may be the medieval period, but realistically I'll ready anything if it's good regardless of time period. I definitely agree with you that it is impossible to have too many good books. Although, my husband, after our most recent house move, was questioning this assertion since he had to carry the two, full to the top, large, rental van loads of nothing but books on his own since I had injured my back and couldn't lift. I think we may have to get professionals next time!

Hello, how did it go today?

The appointment today was interesting. The GP listened to why I thought I am autistic and looked at the evidence I presented her with. She's made a referral to the mental health team for an initial chat and they may be able to refer on from there depending on what they find. At the very least they might be able to help with the anxiety. So we'll see what comes of this. I'm not too optimistic this is the right way to get a referral to the right team.

I should be sent a letter inviting me for an appointment in a few weeks time.

So not a straight answer, not even an agreement that you will eventually get a straight answer, disappointing but nor hopeless. It depends whether the mental health team you are referred to are familiar with adult females ASDs. If they are not and this is another dead end lots of people self-diagnose and with the length of current waiting lists and the difficulties of getting a formal diagnosis I think that's perfectly legitimate if they've looked into it all thoroughly and are sure.

On a happier note, history, I've never been to Durham or Kennelworth but hope to go and to pretty much everywhere else in the UK. I hope to visit the Royal Armory at Leeds in the not too distant future, I think they do jousting tournaments, or displays. What I would really like to see is a Tournia (I can't find the right spelling). I'm far too chicken myself to even get on a horse.

Jousting's fun!

I hope you get to drink some mead there.

Damn it! I can't find my copy of The Greatest Knight by Elizabeth Chadwick. It's got that word on the back cover, It might be tourney or tournoi. I bet I wake up in the night remembering it and then forget again by the time I get up in the morning.

I've never tried mead, but I've always imagined it as made from the river water (doubling as the sewage system) so I might give it a miss. We make very good cider here kraftiekortie

I know they used to call the whole jousting event a "tournament."

I know what you mean about medieval water supplies LOL

Have you ever seen a movie called "A Knight's Tale?" There was a young guy named "Chaucer" who was nothing like the real Chaucer. They also had rock music in the jousting stadium.

Yes, it's a really fun film (Heath Ledger).

I'm trying to remember what they called the things held in France where they Ahhhhhh I've got it! a mellay.

I was trying to think of a word like tourney (French for tournament) but tourney circuit is the whole thing. It's mellay, I was after. It's a sort of mini battle with different teams fighting close. They sort of kidnap each other and hold them for ransom.

The way my brain works is torturous but I got there in the end. Anyway William Marshal did it a lot and I would love to watch some. I might have a hunt on net to see if it's done anywhere, it might not because it's was quite dangerous.