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Hi everyone, nice to be here, I'm 44 and recently lost my husband, a year and a half ago, and a few years ago had some Aspergers test, but didn't take too much notice, although my partner was also, then discovered more recently that I am about 80 percent Aspergers (I share about 172 out of 200 Aspergers traits and 45 traits of neurotypical). Its on my father's side of the family, I have cousins and nephews with Aspergers and Autism, unfortunately my father is total denial and doesn't want to acknowledge it.

So its been hard. I recently moved back to the EU after living in Central and South America for 14 years, I am originally from England but not lived there for so long, am currently in Spain but feel very isolated even though I speak Spanish. I am at a point where I don't know where to go or where I belong. I have always been quite focused on environmental issues and dedicated to that, but now it all seems quite futile due to my grief. I am hoping I can make some meaningful friendships here to understand my Aspergers more.

My interests are, I am very passionate about conserving the Amazon rain forest, I spent a lot of time in the Amazon with indigenous people. I feel so alive in the rain forest, it's Earth's sacred jewel, everyone should go see it. It pulsates with life and beauty. Trouble is, with corporations working closely with politicians its harder and harder to preserve, I have written a lot about these issues and been dedicated to this cause but its a hard battle. Then after losing my husband who I only had a short time with. I have lost all sense of motivation and lack the same drive to keep up the environmental writing or work. At the moment I just teach online to try distract myself from my grief, I wrote a book four years ago and am writing another about how our relationship with the environment is an important aspect of human well being mentally, emotionally and spirtually, although cannot seem to write since my husband died, so books are incomplete. I hope I can move forward and not be mobilized by my grief.

I almost forgot to mention, I brought 3 cats and 2 dogs with me all the way to Spain from Ecuador, I love animals, I rescued my fur babies and when I lived in Ecuador for six years, I rescued around 30 abandoned cats and dogs, got them sterilized and found them homes with good people. I try not to collect anymore as its already hard travelling with 5!

Thank you for your attention. Please feel free to message me.

Hi and welcome ! Sorry for your loss, and that you feel so isolated. It's not always good to make decisions while going through grief, though sometimes, losing someone can force the issue(such a rollercoaster of emotions), but perhaps as time goes on, it will become alot clearer to you, of where you wish to be. My heart goes out to you. I'm about 80% too, and likewise, it's on my father's side. I've spent quite a bit of time in Spain, and have friends there, though live in England now(am originally from Australia). Thinking of you, and know that you're not alone. We're here for you.

Thank you for responding, lovely to meet you, I hope to go back to visit the UK soon. So lets keep in touch. I just added a little more about my main interests. Australia seems amazing, what do you think of the UK? I cannot deal with the winters in the UK as I have asthma and I always got sick for months and months with bad coughs, but I miss the countryside. I am from London originally, but I lived a long while in Cornwall, Devon and my mum lives in Dorset.

Yes, let's stay in touch. I see you are also into environmental issues(I wrote about the Brazilian fires recently(have a friend who lives in Sao Paulo). Ironically, I have a friend who I went to Secondary School with who returned to Spain to live, once our school days ended. She is also an IELTS teacher, so small world ... I do love my home country, and have beautiful family/friends there who I remain in close contact with. They want me "home: and try to lure me back every so often. So much I could say, so much has happened since I first arrived in the UK(such a rollercoaster in itself!), but I now think of the UK as "home", and will stay here likely for always now. I'm on a mission to see more of the UK over the coming years now, as I've spent alot of time in the US and seen quite a few other countries in the past few years. Love Cornwall, and if I don't wind up living in the north(I loved Yorkshire Dales area), then, I might just move to Cornwall eventually. Hard to say... really. I know of a wonderful composer(AS) who lives in Dorset. Sorry to hear of your asthma and the UK's winters would certainly not help. I could not imagine enjoying a cooler climate, as I grew up loving the tropical heat of Queensland, Aus, and the outdoor, very healthy lifestyle that goes hand in hand with that, however, I have "assimilated" .... and now enjoy the depth of winter in places like Norway and Iceland, where I find myself knee deep in snow, and on crazy hiking expeditions! Very good to "meet" you, too.x