Feel different from the others .

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Hello everyone : I`m new member of this group and it feels good to be finally be around people who are just like me instead of the usually " NT " . I been diagnosed with Autism since I was 3 years old ; however I never once felt total different from other people my age until I reach the later parts of my adolescent did I begun to felt the pains of ' social isolation ". I never had any sleepovers when growing up nor did I ever hardly had anyone from my school come over to play except maybe only once but I hardly felt any agony over it until later on . I was placed in special ed for awhile because I scored low on the IQ test which resulted in me being sent to special classes -- which didn't` last very long because I later manage to take regular classes with NT crowd . I was a bit of a slow learner but manage to flow on though and later on -- whenever I was in 3 grade -- that's when they later did another test which said " that my score was 93 " -- an average score . But then , when I got to 5 grade , that's when my grades began to slip and I never was able to learn any form of higher math -- especially abstract math like algebra because of the experience that I got from my 5 grade teachers ( bad experience that still plagues me ). It wasn't nothing bad as in abuse wise but teachers always thought I was " making excuses " whenever I needed help with my school work ( never got any help because they assume that I knew the answers but was faking for attention ) . They always threated to paddled me if I didn't stop causing trouble ( trouble was me asking for help ) . Later on in middle school , things gotten somewhat better but trouble of me learning math still stuck . I took iq test -- once again -- but instead of average score , I receive low iq of 72 -- which is borderline mental retardation. I took special classes for math, p.e , and reading but rest was mainstream . I drop out in 8th grade ( bad decision I still regret to this very day ) but went back year later to high school which sadly only lasted for an semester . I hated the whole " school culture " and way students treated one another and such . It was so bad that I pretty much pleased/begged my mom to sign me out asap . I went to private homeschooling program and graduated from there . I always wented to go to college but didn't feel like it would do me any good to go since I have bad math skills and terrible writing/grammar skills . I actually got accepted to attend that fall but I chicken out due to me cowardice . I never been able to drive an car and I`m almost 30 years old . Other people in my age group are driving around " having the time of their lives " while I`m still stuck here at home -- with my brothers . I never had an gf and never been on date . I long desire to find woman ,whom I can one day called " my soulmate " . I feel so much regret over the decision to drop out of school (twice ) ; regret not learning how to drive ; regret not the offer to attend college . I have no shame being autistic since it`s not our faults for who we are ; rather NT`s fault for not accepting us for who we are . I feel like theres still an chance for me to get "things done " ;as long s I`m alive theres still hope .I`m sorry for the long rambling of my boring story (P.S sorry for my grammar mistakes and no I don`t harbor any ill feelings towards non - autistic people but I do resent ignorant people on the other hand )

Dear Libertine - welcome to WP ! Regrets to one side, maybe look at the next 30, starting with a whole new chapter? Remember, you don’t need College or Uni necessarily to achieve your dreams. There are many different paths that can lead to the outcome you’re hoping for. With the right attitude, and just trying your best at this crazy thing called “life”, you’d be amazed at what can be achieved... Very good to have you with us...

Welcome to WP!

Welcome.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!