Apparently, I write too well to be autistic... hmm!

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Hello,
This is my second post. But my first attempt at introducing myself. My natural instinct is to just dive in and start rambling about myself. But I understand there are formalities to take care of first, so here goes:

I'm an adult female, self diagnosed with what used to be called Aspergers. But I think now I would be diagnosed as low support needs autism, if I could find someone close to where I live, with the experience to properly diagnose these kinds of things, I might try again one day, but....

About 10 years ago, I went for an assessment with who I thought was a qualified psychiatrist. I prepared myself by taking in a 40 page, typed document of what I considered were the relevant experiences and insights throughout my life. He spent a long time reading the whole thing and seemed to enjoy it, while leaving me sitting there, twiddling my fingers and gazing around the room.... for a very long time.

Finally he stopped reading, looked up and smiled, asked if he could keep it and declared there was no way I could be autistic because I spoke and wrote too well. I was shattered and very disappointed. I'd already done my research and knew what he was saying wasn't true, there are plenty of autistic people who speak and write well. So I put my tail between my legs, went home and didn't make a second appointment. I kind of gave up after that. I'd already secured quite a long list of diagnoses which didn't really fit, and none of the treatments I'd tried had helped much. Some had been extremely harmful, I'm very sensitive and don't do well with most medications.

My life has been very difficult, most of my energy has always gone into masking and trying to pass for 'normal'. I've never understood how most people are able to spend an entire day at school or work and then come home, cook dinner and then go out for an evening of socializing. For me its been like after a day of being around other people, I need a day or two in order to recover, which of course in the real world, you just don't get. So I've dragged myself through my whole life running on empty.

But it all makes sense now. I've found my tribe, I've learned what I am and how to operate myself, I've finally found a label that fits me neatly, even though I have to apply it myself.

It's taken a while, but now I'm able to say that I'm happy to be me and happy to be here. .... well sort of happy to be here, I would still prefer living on a more neuro-diverse kind of planet

welcome my well written fellow WP member . must apologize in advance , for my writing, it can be off putting .. Generally am writing well but my cynicism . Can taint my posts . Generally well meaning inspite.of myself .

Contrary to the ignorant evaluator, I think submitting a 40-page self-report is a pretty good sign you are.

There are assorted people here who are published authors of one kind or another — a few here:
viewtopic.php?t=200144

Hello and welcome, Aspie Pie. Thanks for sharing your story.

I had a similar journey with professionals, when I first suggested autism. My then-psychiatrist said I couldn't be autistic because even though I had a unique profile I was too "articulate" in our sessions. That didn't mean I made eye contact or chatted readily, it meant that the few words she dragged from me as a selective mute woman demonstrated a complex vocabulary and grasp of the English language. The fact I have English degrees, I made a career of English literature, and I read voraciously as a special interest didn't matter to her. Topic deferred.

My trauma psychologist is an elderly gentleman of old-school training and he said I couldn't be autistic because I don't rush about in circles on the carpet like a little boy with autism, and I don't flap my arms in our sessions. The fact that I stim and have scores of BFRB didn't matter in his opinion. He also saw my autistic traits as a manifestation of my CPTSD. I had to remind him I wasn't born with CPTSD and that I had my autistic traits from birth. He admitted "OK, you may be right, but why does it matter?", which sent me to find a private diagnosis. I didn't even go to my GP for a referral.

Fast forward to my assessment. Like you, I went in prepared. In response to the Developmental History questions I wrote and bound a 188 page autobiography with appendices of documents from my childhood, photos, home video links, anecdotal stories for each question and a cross-referenced guide relating to the diagnostic criteria. I sent it a month ahead of time to my assessment doctor. Unlike your doctor, mine said that my OCD / thorough attention to detail was very common for autistic people and she found it fascinating. I did about 12 hours of psychometric testing with her and was diagnosed Autism Level 2 (Significant Support), in 2018. I have lots of comorbid conditions as well but my ASD was off the charts. The diagnostic doctor knew that autistic adults can be verbose and very detailed in their planning, so I was pleased to feel understood.

I urge you to try again with a neuropsychologist (not psychiatrist) who specialises in adult diagnoses, preferably for women.

I think you place too much emphasis on labels. That's a very surface value attribute with high subjectivity from person to person. Rather than focusing on a psychiatric disorder given by another person who is paid to find everything wrong with you, you should focus on things that you are both objectively good at and things that you will profit from being objectively good at. And of course it should be something you enjoy. And really, if you can find that then nothing else matters because you should be doing well with it. I wouldn't place emphasis on social groups either, especially social groups based off some arbitrary attribute. I'd chance to say that social chemistry often operates independently from labels, gender, race, identity, and even hobbies to an extent. Those are all very shallow evaluations when considered alone. I think social chemistry often just "happens" regardless of these things and the reasons are often deeper.

Agrees

I've actually had a few clients do exactly what you did. Email me or show up with a huge report on their history of the problem they have come to see me for. I always interpreted that as a fairly autistic thing to do. The classic aspie coping/compensatory strategy of researching the sh*t out of something as a way to prepare.

I think a lot of us here were probably misdiagnosed before finally being diagnosed or self-identifying as autistic. Self- identification is enough for some. For myself, I'd never heard of Aspergers before I was diagnosed and instead was told various things by health professionals (including that I was 'just overly emotional' ).
It's a shame that some doctors or officials seem to have such a linear view of autism when it is, in fact, a spectrum. It sounds like you've done your own research, identified really strongly and found it useful. If you want a diagnosis then I'd say try another doctor or ask for a second opinion- some thankfully actually consider the person and listen fully, rather than seeming to have a checklist.

Also, welcome to wrongplanet! I hope you enjoy the forum and find it useful here

Recently here , have been blessed to run into a few priceless persons , whom have inspite of my own tendencies towards verbousity . Enlightened me as to ways to expression similiar concepts in more succinct terms , With words that are easier for those whom are not , ' perhaps adept' or wish to have to engage larger language part of the brain just to get the concepts , have tried to convey.
Pecision in the use of language , thought surely would help me to be understood , ( it was innate for me). But was explained to in simple terms .
' To consider my audience' Aspies on the spectrum are such a diverse group ,
And not every single one cares to have to decypher my writing . So often times am not trying to use words geared more to the masses ,(inadvertantly) . Please Anyone Do not consider this as a critique but more as a observation of changes in myself for myself since arriving ' on planet' and obviously am still working on it .

Also agrees: and notes Hans Aspergers use of the phrase little professors to describe the children he studied/cared for.

This pdoc gives me an idea. How about the "Bettelheim Award" for the most wrong thing said about us each year .

Looooooooooolz

^ Had to look that one up
Good call.

Hi! Welcome! I know a lot of folks on the spectrum who are excellent writers, so that so-called professional has no idea what he’s talking about.

You're trying to be more concise.

You are making an attempt at making your words more understandable.

Thou art engaging in a valiant effort of which thou shalt increase the readability of thou vernacular and so thy fellow may understand.

Well written ....looolz TY