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Hello Everyone! I don't have an official diagnosis, but I am quite sure that ASD answers the question I have been asking my entire life "Why am I this way?"  It had been suggested to me a long time ago by a friend that I may have Asperger's. I investigated it and thought "Hmmm, might be possible."

I ended up moving overseas to be with my boyfriend. A few years later, my son was born. Shortly before the age of two, we really began to take notice of certain behaviors, quirks, traits and his super high intelligence. As he has grown, I see that some traits he possesses mimic mine. Special interests, schedules and knowing when things will happen, hypersensitivity, difficulty regulating emotions just to name a few. Unfortunately, we don't yet know what if any social deficits he may have due to pandemic the past couple years. But my son is now almost 4 1/2 and will be starting school soon. We just signed him up for preschool for this fall and we have started the process of intelligence and ASD assessment. We want to make sure he gets the best out of his education as possible.

But for me, watching my son is like looking in a mirror and has renewed the fact that I too may have ASD. I am looking at everything in my life through a new lens and have moved from "Hmmm, it might be possible" to "This is it. This is why am I am the way I am." I'm in my 40's, so I don't know how much will change for me with this knowledge but I hope knowing will help my son as he grows up.

Thank you all for sharing your stories here. It has been very helpful to lurk about reading and learning about ASD.

Welcome to Wrong Planet. There are some tests available online that you can take for free. They are not official but they will generally point you in the right direction. Many times Asperger's and autism are passed down several generations.

As jimmy m mentioned, there are some unofficial but indicative tests on the Internet. I know of two and if you are curious, they are:

>=>- Autism-Spectrum Quotient Test

>=>- The Aspie-Quiz ^{Registering is optional!}

Oh, yeah...Welcome to WP!!

Hi jimmy m,
I have heard it can pass from one generation to the next and a lot adults will find out only because their kids have tested positive.

Hi Double Retired,
Thanks for links. I took the AQ test. I scored a 45 out of 50. So maybe just maybe

I got a 40 and later got a formal assessment which diagnosed me as Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild). When my bride took the test on my behalf (answering things the way she thought I should answer them), as I recall, I got a 39.

So a 45 seems to be pretty strong support for your suspicion.

P.S. Support is not needed for WP. In addition to an official diagnosis, it accepts  "Have Aspergers - Undiagnosed", "Not sure if I have it or not", and various other things, including "Neurotypical". But, our quiz score is perhaps a pleasing reinforcement of your self-assessment.

Double Retired,

Thank you. I know I don't need proof to be here. This seems like such a supportive environment with people in varying stages of the process of discovery. I have moved from "I might be austistic" to now it's quite literally staring me in the face as a 4 year old I'm not anxious or upset by it. I just want to learn as much as I can for the both of us.

SpiralingCrow,

You will find an interesting mix of people here. Some I think I would be curious enough to have dinner out with—with my bride along, of course! But other times the conversation here is... ...and I try to quietly back out of the room. If you ever find a conversation here too annoying I encourage you to just leave that thread, not the whole planet.

But I think you are right to think your self-realization is mainly just "interesting." You have apparently muddled through life reasonably successfully for more than four decades. Now you can better understand things that happened during those decades, and your ability to get this far implies future annoyances should be things you can overcome.

I am speaking about your self-realization. Regarding your son, I dunno. Getting a label early in life might be a double-edged sword—the knowledge could be useful but is there also a chance it could unnecessarily close some doors? I hope your son does at least as well as you and I both did.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I under stand what you're saying. For me, it's a revelation. I have struggled all these years not feeling like I belonged anywhere. Feeling that way doesn't do much for your self confidence or self worth. You just feel defective somehow. It has come up, that our son may have this label. But as parents we want to see him excel and go by the idea to be forwarned is to be forarmed. Perhaps in years to come there will be less stigma associated with it.

I really liked what the speaker has to say in this video. Perhaps it will interest you.

Good video.

I've not knowingly met many (any?) other Autistic people in person. Shortly after I was diagnosed the Pandemic strongly encouraged me to just stay home. But from what little I've learned (I don't usually consult with Dr. Google, however, I still use Dr. Yahoo!) the video makes a lot of sense.

I do tend to think of my Autism not being any more a disability than would be being left-handed. (You should feel sorry for those poor left-handed folk! They have trouble with things like writing, power tools and weapons—they even have trouble with scissors!) As a child I assumed I was just like everyone else, then it seemed like the world had singled me out to be mean to, then I began wondering if there was something wrong with me. But then as my credentials improved so did my conviction that I was not the problem.

I hope Autism loses much of its stigma in time to not cause your son problems. I hope it doesn't close any doors for him. It would have been horrible for me if I could not have gone into the military...that door did wonderful things for me.

I like your left handed analogy. I always kind of felt different without knowing why. I always thought I was defective somehow, but now I see it as just wired differently. I'm ok with that. And if my son is wired differently too, I want teach him to be ok with that.

Thanks Anonymous

Welcome to Wrong Planet. I am glad you are here. I muddled through more than six decades before having the same experience you told. Ah, hah! Having autism explains everything! Also, I second everything double_retired said.

I know some Autistics have symptoms much more severe than mine. (You'll likely chat with some of them here on WP without realizing they are legally and medically disabled by Autism.) As the video suggests, it seems reasonable to me that a lot of their problems might be directly due to an effectively hostile―for them―environment. But I'd go further; I sometimes wonder what portion of their difficulties are due to efforts to force them into the NT mold.

Continuing the Left-handed analogy...my bride was born a Lefty. But her European Catholic grandmother was horrified by that! She tried to force her into being a Righty. She was partially successful. Now my bride is not a Lefty, she is a Clumsy...because trying to force her into being something she wasn't was a bad idea.

My Dad recently told me that he and my Mom saw that I was doing "weird" things but they decided I wasn't being bad, I was just like that, so they decided not to punish me. I am so glad! If they had decided otherwise my life could have been much more of a problem. (It was still a problem but it could've been much worse.)

P.S. I acknowledge I have been fortunate. The Autism Spectrum is broad. I was fortunate enough to land on the part previously known as Asperger's Syndrome. I still know very little about the part previously known as Kanner's Syndrome.

@blazingstar Thanks for the welcome.

@doubleretired
I understand it is a spectrum disorder and that everyone's experience is different. This is the way my brain wants to make sense of it for me. I agree with you and the video that a lot of the challanges for people will be trying to fit into a mold not suitable them, like a square peg not fitting into a round hole. I too think I would fit into the end of the spectrum formerly known as Aspergers. I have been able to meander my way through life so far. It's challenging at times, but I usually find my way. I'm also lucky to have had a loving family (also not without it's challenges )

First off. WELCOME

When I first discovered i was an Aspie (at the ripe old age of 48) I was elated, suddenly I had an answer for so many questions that had previously gone unanswered.
Then came a long period of review about all of the (failed) relationships, mobbing in school, and rejections. I started to become bitter because I started to realize that the problem wasn't me but NT's inability to be accepting and supportive of neurodiversity (very generalizing I know).
I became bitter and angry at all the people who had wronged me just because I was different, quirky or downright weird.
Now I find myself somewhere between loathing and acceptance that most NT's are simply not able to risk social suicide by acquaintance to an Aspie. There are exceptions and I have a few of them that I truly consider friends.

I guess what I am trying to say is: that there many stages that come with discovering being an Aspie. I don't think I'll ever get to the end of this process, if there even is one.

My official diagnosis helped me tremendously and it also made the process of my son's diagnosis much easier. Yes Aspergers is highly hereditary.

My therapist once told me that Aspies are 12 times more likely to be in a relationship with another Aspie knowingly or not. So it's never preposterous to consider this might also be true for your relationship.