Hi! I was diagnosed with ASD-1 last week...and I'm terrified

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Hi all,

I'm 42 and was just diagnosed with ASD-1/ Asperger's. I'm not finding it easy to accept and adjust and i have a lot of anxiety about sharing my diagnosis with family and friends

I bet there are hundreds of people on here who have either been through something similar or who are going through it at the moment.

Looking forward to meeting people and making friends

Welcome to the forums!

Hi and welcome! I was diagnosed earlier this year but haven't told anyone but my closest family yet. That doesn't include my parents or siblings.

Hi,

Well, if it is any comfort, you aren't likely to change much at your age.

You may be able to make life easier by identifying issues and avoiding them.

For instance, many of us have difficulty in busy social situations, such as crowded restaurants.
I avoided this by arriving a little early beating the crowd at a popular fast food restaurant.
If I had arrived late I would just have blown it off and not ordered something.

Relax. Remember that nothing changes you from being you! Nothing in that sense has changed.

The only thing that has changed is that you have a slightly greater understanding of yourself, which no one else need know (Unless you decide to tell them).

From now on I imagine a lot will unravel. I think I have already had a lot of unraveling and I have not been assessed yet, but I am probably on the spectrum... BUT not 100% sure. The unravelling about autism traits I have was very much quite a discovery for me as I never knew they were traits! I just thought it was my character! Quite an unexpected experience! But if I say my "Story" so far it would take a book to write to explain!

Welcome to Wrong Planet. and don't be terrified. You are still you!

Welcome. I was also late diagnosed at 49. It’s been good to finally understand myself. I hope you’re able to embrace your diagnosis and life will be better for it.

I’ve just been officially diagnosed at 54, and I’m telling everybody! I told my mum, aunt, daughter and ex wife, and I’ve had no judgement from them. It’s not something I want to hide, as hiding things and keeping things to myself has messed up my life so far, so going forward I’m trying to be open and honest about everything.

Welcome, and I hope you find the support and community you seek.

Hello and welcome,

I have been diagnosed 4 years ago at the age of 43 and remember feeling as terrified as you and I want to tell you it is going to be okay (even if it doesn’t feel like it yet)
Also there is no rush for you to tell anybody in your close circle, in fact I would recommend choosing carefully the first person you tell. And get someone you trust.

I only ever told my partner (who is NT) he went through the diagnosis with me. Telling him has definitely helped our relationship and how we communicate. But sometimes It also feel like it has changed something permanently between us. Maybe it is for the better I don’t know.
Anyway hope you’ll be okay and continue to trust yourself. It is a journey.

Wow! Thank you all for the warm welcome! I'll reply with a bit more detail when I get time later but for now i just want to say thanks for being so welcoming and helping a fellow feel a little more at ease!

I would not tell a boss about ASD. That actually isn't helpful because they don't know what they need to do.
If you need something changed just be specific about what you need to do your job more efficiently.

I agree with Mountain Goat!

I was diagnosed shortly before my 65^th birthday. My bride was present when I received the diagnosis but all other family were geographically distant. I decided I wanted to tell them in person. That was a waste. They already thought I was "weird". When they heard my diagnosis their immediate reaction was to try to figure out if my diagnosis might shed some light on them.

Except my Dad, who was still alive then and quite old...he was completely disinterested. I guess from his vantage point it was probably some new-fangled, uninteresting, transient fad. (Asperger's Syndrome wasn't added to the DSM until 1994—the year I turned 40 and that he turned 64.)

However, it was still very nice to get the diagnosis even though it doesn't seem to have much practical value for me. It explained so much of my life! (I understand that a diagnosis is a more serious thing for people with more severe symptoms. People needing accommodations probably need a formal diagnosis.)

I am scheduled for my "intake" appointment the day after I turn 54. I guess all the cool kids are doing it that way

For me it felt important and essential to get a formal diagnosis even though I did not get any adaptations as a result. I had felt at odd with everybody/everything all my life. I deeply believed I was broken and needed to be “fixed”. I am only starting to recognise this now, but more than anything, the diagnosis brought me a change in the internal narrative that I was playing on, and more than before I manage to be kinder to myself now.

I relate to this so much. The feeling of being broken has followed me my whole life. Why do I lose friends? I'm broken. Why do I feel uncomfortable in large groups? I'm broken. Why did I GED my way out of high school despite being intelligent? I'm broken. Why did I become addicted to drugs as a teenager? I'm broken.

But now, seeing that there's an explanation that can make it all make sense, I want that piece of paper. First appointment is next Friday.

My primary reason for getting a formal assessment was for certainty. Without a formal assessment I would've not been certain I was Autistic because I knew I could've been mistaken in my own self-assessment.

And, without certainty, if I ever wanted to tell someone else about my suspicion I would've felt obligated to qualify my statement by saying it was just my inexpert opinion.

While it did not cause me to want a formal assessment, getting a formal diagnosis was incredibly enlightening. My life experience made so much more sense! That enlightenment is by far the greatest benefit I've gotten from the diagnosis...along with getting to tell my bride "I have a doctor's note for that!"

Welcome to Wrong Planet.
And Yes "feel a little more at ease". That is why this place exists.