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I have been diagnosed for about 10 years. Fairly late diagnosis inspite of saying to psychologists dealing with my two son's who were diagnosed - "I do things like this, could I have it too?" on occasion.., it was quite a few years later I was actually able to persuade someone to put me forward for some diagnostic tests. Like many, I was so often told I didn't have any of the signs of autism but lol, they'd also have a go if I got stressed about things they felt I shouldn't lol.

I can't say a diagnosis changed my life enormously. I still feel 'different' and 'unacceptable', as time has gone by I isolate more and more. I know I don't 'play the game' of social interactions very well. I have no friends, something which seems to be difficult for others to understand. Trusting people is challenging.

Fortunately, although I wasn't able to do this with my older son (who had a terrible time in mainstream schooling) but I was able to get my younger son an EHPC (yes, even after he was diagnosed schools said he couldn't possibly qualify for an EHCP, in spite of having difficulties with schooling). Seeing how he has gained confidence in a specialist school because he is one of a group of boys with ASD, made me suddenly think that maybe it would be good for me to try a forum for autistic adults for myself. I was watching Christine McGuiness's documentary on Autism, getting upset as it included things I could connect with and thought, I've got to do something with this.

So here I am. Do others feel a constant feeling of shame for the mistakes they've made and the things they find challenging. Its why I hide away most of the time.

Hope that's not too much detail!

Last edited by deannatrois on 22 Jul 2023, 9:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Welcome to WP!

Welcome DeannaTrois....This little planet off in a corner of the Web, Is happy to have you ! And just right proper detail ..

welcome! you are not alone! I am right in that shame boat too, always embarassed and distressed because it seems I do something wrong or that I am being shamed but not understanding why. There are many here who will understand. You are in a safe place here, with many of us who have had similar experiences. You will run across others here who you can't relate to at all. Its a wide spectrum. Glad you found us! Take time to explore!

Welcome to WP! I'm glad you found it.

Many of the folk here were diagnosed later in life. I was diagnosed shortly before my 65^th birthday. Many of us were pleased by the diagnosis because it explained so much we'd experienced and couldn't understand without the self-understanding the diagnosis gave.

Well...I dislike making mistakes...but I do not feel shame for my Autism traits. By the time I'd gotten my diagnosis I'd already done reasonably well in life so I am quite comfortable with who I am. I'm more in the school of thought that it is the World that's messed up.

Welcome, Counselor! Good to have you aboard.

Personally, yes, that sense of shame (and judgement/rejection) has followed me my whole life. It led me to gradually make my life smaller and smaller over the years, so it would be easier to cope with, more comfortable. But since I realised I'm autistic and have been learning as much as I can about what that means, it all makes so much sense to me now and, for the first time in my life, I've been able to let go of some of that shame and find peace with myself. It's a work in progress...but for me, it's worth it. The better I understand autism and myself, the less shame I feel. And I think connecting with other people like me is a huge, healing part of that.

I hope you stick around and I wish you all the best in your journey.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

You wrote about EHCP. I never came across this term so I looked it up. EHCP stands for Educational, Health and Care Plan. It is a document where the education, healthcare and social needs of a child who needs additional support in school. It appears to be a U.K. term. An EHCP is basically a legal document where the special EHCP needs of a child or a teenager are outlined.

About half the people in the world have an introvert personality and the other half are extroverts. An extrovert recharges their internal batteries by getting together with different people and talking, talking, talking. That is how they recharge. But an introvert is very different. They need alone time. They go off into a room and read a book, or watch TV or just think, think, think. That is how we recharge.

Introverts can communicate but generally we tend to want to talk to one person rather then a group of people.

Sometimes because we think deeper, we can develop much higher IQs. Some of us can border on genius.